Advice on how to Manage a Friend situation

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  • ButterflyKiss
    January 24, 2023 at 2:21 pm #1118393

    Hello everyone,

    Long story short, I am looking for advice on how I should handle myself in this situation with 2 friends (A and B). I’m closer with A, who is getting married and made me a bridesmaid recently. A and B were friends for a long time, albeit A has always been worn down with B’s more “pushy” nature. Got to a point where A finally had enough and decided to cut her off. B is currently not aware of this and thinks everything is normal. A has also now taken her off her wedding guest list.
    At this point, I’m doing all I can to stay out of this. I’m trying to let A know (as the closer friend, she vents to me a lot), that I would prefer to be left out of any talk about B, because I feel like I’ll just find myself further involved if she turns to me about B. However, I am at a loss what to do if B asks me about A’s wedding (she was still friends with A when A announced her engagement to us all). To B’s knowledge, she’s expecting to get invited and I feel it’s not my place to tell her she’s off the list. B has not mentioned A at all to me, so I feel this kind of talk won’t come up until A makes final confirmations on her wedding date. Would it be better not to bring it up and just pass her on to A until then?
    I haven’t talked to B in a while either and she just messaged me this week asking how I’ve been and I’m even wondering if I should mention I’ve been helping A with her wedding…
    Thank you for listening to my dumb story.

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    January 24, 2023 at 3:38 pm #1118395

    I wouldn’t mention anything unless asked. If you’re asked about A’s wedding, you can be vague – “yes, wedding is still happening and I believe A is confirming her wedding date.” If she outright asks you about the wedding guest list, tell her you aren’t sure of all of A’s plans and B should reach out to A directly. Then it can be on A to explain herself when B asks.

    January 24, 2023 at 11:08 pm #1118396

    I don’t think you should worry about this situation unless it arises. Don’t borrow worries, as they say. Direct her to friend Am she’s responsible for her friendships, not you.

    January 26, 2023 at 6:56 am #1118416

    You will be in the middle only if you put yourself there or if your friends demand that you choose one of them.

    If B asks, you direct them to A. If B demands you choose, then you have to make your choices at that time. If B demands that, know that not choosing is a choice. And that’s totally OK. Friends don’t get to demand that you stop being friends with someone they don’t like.

    January 26, 2023 at 8:17 am #1118417

    “A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.”

    This is not your issue to fret over.

    January 26, 2023 at 8:39 am #1118420

    If you don’t want to have an awkward conversation about the wedding, don’t bring it up a a topic.

    The answer to “How have you been” doesn’t have to mention helping with the wedding. I’m sure that’s not only thing you’ve been doing.

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Advice on how to Manage a Friend situation

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