Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Am I selfish?

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Am I selfish?

Viewing 6 posts - 13 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #964970 Reply

    Call the hotline today. Say everything you need to say. They won’t judge you. Your wife and your child need more from you and making them deal with your suicide is the most selfish thing you can put them through.

    If you want to be a better person and a better husband and a better father call the hotline and get help instead of trying to figure out who is the asshole and getting judged by internet strangers.

    #965019 Reply
    Andrea Letsen

    Nothing I can say hasn’t already been said better by everyone else here.

    However, no matter how you are feeling or what you are dealing with – it is NEVER okay to place blame for your desire to commit suicide on another person. Kate is not and will not be responsible if you do in fact choose to harm yourself, and you saying such a thing is downright cruel, selfish and very immature.

    Please seek professional help because you very clearly need it.

    #965031 Reply

    NEWSFLASH: if a few blandly critical words from Kate so pushed you over the edge into being suicidal… then your wife was CLEARLY right. You do need to see a counselor/therapist like RIGHT NOW.

    #965032 Reply

    Stan, I do hope you get the help you need. Your wife, who you presumedly love- just gave birth to your child. She needs you. The baby needs you. You have a responsibility to them. Please call that number.

    #965045 Reply

    And if you do find yourself in such a dark place that a few critical words from an Internet stranger would push you over the edge, definitely don’t go on an online forum and ask if you’re selfish. Call a hotline. Or check your health insurance, you might be surprised at the support you can get for a small copay or maybe even free if you’re lucky.

    #966136 Reply

    Wow, you were so much out of touch! I am shocked and eyerolling. Your wife needs a solid partner and father to your child, not that. Really not that. It is awful, what you did. If you feel bad, just vent to anybody but her. Don’t say that you have no one else. You do. You are killing your image as well, as a partner: she might consider her options regarding your couple, with basically two babies. I definitely would.
    And what does it mean, “unfulfilled by our newborn”? You are not supposed to be fulfilled by a child. Your job is to fulfil the child with attention, love and care, till they are independent. You didn’t get the memo with parenthood. This is giving, and giving, and giving. So you have to seek support elsewhere. Go find it. Your wife’s suggestion is right. Use some paycheck to buy yourself at least one therapist session. And learn that words have consequences. You can’t just vent and hope this doesn’t reach the person.
    Look: to have a child is a big emotional process, and it can have unstable personalities regress in their mental health. This happens often. You seem immature and in need of catching up with professional support, so do seek it. It is as necessary for you as eating and paying your rent. Sell something if necessary, renounce something, but do what is necessary to face your new reality.

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