Am I wrong for feeling this way about my husband and thirteen year old daughter?

[ron]

A lot of girls are abused by their stepfathers. This is either incipient or actual sexual abuse. You need to divorce him, for your daughter’s sake.

[Helen]

No, you don’t know that nothing’s going on. Why does he insist on sleeping with her if not for nefarious reasons?? Get your head out of the sand. Stand up to him for your daughter’s sake. She’s not telling you what’s going on because he’s probably telling her that you won’t believe her, or it’d be her fault if the family broke up, or she’d be homeless if you kicked him out, or he truly loves her and as soon as she’s 18 he’ll marry her. Get him out & get her to a therapist who specializes in trauma

[veritek33]

This is giving me Woody Allen/Mia Farrow/Soon Yi vibes.

Super unacceptable. Please remove one of them from the home ASAP.

[laylas]

This is completely inappropriate and abnormal and your husband is gaslighting you. At this point I would seriously be considering divorce. You are living with a pervert and a predator.

[Hazel]

even if all he is doing is sleeping beside her it is wrong. just no. You need to put a stop to this NOW. Even if he is only sleeping beside her this will be causing damage and it has to stop.

[Hazel]

In fact make your plans to leave with your child as soon as you possibly can.

[bloodymediocrity]

This is BAD. This is SO BAD. The very very best case scenario here is that he’s an idiot who doesn’t understand child development abd a bad husband who blows off his wife’s serious concerns. The WORST CASE scenario is SO BAD. This is call CPS levels of bad.

I didn’t catch that it was the Step-Dad doing this on the first. That’s way worse! If my daughter told me that one of her friends step-dad sneaks in to bed at night with her I’d be calling social services.

[Kate]

Like at first when I read it I was like, yeah that’s super weird, but then it sunk in and I want to call CPS.

[Hey]

Yeah, no. Just no. As a 13 year old girl, if my stepdad did this to me, I wouldn’t go to my mom’s anymore. I would completely cut him off purely because of how undeniably uncomfortable even the concept alone of this seems.
Your daughter, as a new teen, needs her space. She needs room to find out who she is, what she wants, and her personality.
I am absolutely sure he’s probably doing something creepy. This is a giant violation of privacy, and I am very concerned for her.
Like many comments above, i’m gonna say kick him out. Get him away from her.
A lot of abuse victims feel scared to come out about it or cover it up for various reasons, ranging from fear of the abuser to just not knowing what happened/is happening to them.
Get your daughter therapy, and get that crusty creepy old dude away from her. ASAP.

[Marie]

What the other commentators said. His getting into bed with her AT any AGE is absolutely inappropriate. She has been in danger from him the moment this predatory behavior of his started. It is absolutely wrong on all levels. Kick him out now. Change the locks. Prepare yourself that you very likely will have to report him. Your Daughter Is In Immediate Danger Now. Please get him away from her. Please get her to counselor or to social worker or someone able to step in for her ASAP. Also prepare yourself to get a restraining order. His behavior isn’t just so far outside the norm it is absolutely predatory and creepy.

[PDX816]

I can almost assure you that something is going on. This is absolutely not normal and you are sending the message to your daughter that you are not a safe place for her to turn. Of course she isn’t going to say anything, he has groomed her and you have allowed it.

Jesus, this letter makes my brain hurt. How can you possibly think any part of this is OK? A grown ass man is sleeping with your daughter, WAKE UP!!!!! You are allowing harm to come to your child. Kick him out or move, but if you don’t stop this immediately you are just as guilty of whatever is happening.

[Marie]

I hope you let us know. I wish we had a way to report this. Your daughter’s lack of safety is really really frightening. I am praying for her now. That is all I can do from afar. You Must Take Action To Protect And Save Her From Harm Immediately.

[Author]

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