Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Am I wrong here?

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This topic contains 20 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Fyodor 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #753730 Reply
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    Marie

    So a few days ago a really close friend going on 5 years he said he had feelings for me and how he always had feelings for me. This happened before back in December and we talked in person but the next day he seemed over it and said we should remain friends which left me confused but I moved on and we were still close. This time he said he wanted to kiss me to see if there’s any sparks and I’m like I guess I’m fine with that. But then the next day it got me thinking, why does he need to kiss me to see if there’s something? If you like someone you know it. And he didn’t really make an effort and plus we were suppose to hangout Friday but he canceled and today the same and I told him I don’t feel like he’s really interested and that he doesn’t really have a thing for me and he said he does honestly and I said but I don’t feel like you do and he said well I can’t force you. The convo was kind of bland and I just had a feeling. And then today we had a argument about it because when we were talking last night I kept telling him I’d rather talk in person and not through text but ended up arguing through text. And I told him is he really even into it and he said no not really and I told him I’m kind of hurt and it’s kind of messed up that he did that, messing with my head and feelings. He said why and I said because you say one thing act like the opposite and you’re over it. And he said you’re grown you can forget it and I said but do you even see how what you did was messed up and he never responded. He kept saying he was busy but I knew he wasn’t, I then told him have fun with your life and cut all ties with him. To give you a better perspective, I’m 18 turning 19 and he’s 19. Any thoughts? Am I overreacting? Or do I have a right to be upset?

    • This topic was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by Dear Wendy Dear Wendy.
    #753733 Reply
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    JD

    Uhhhhhh. What?? Sooo immature. Go on a date, kiss, whatever. Either you are into each other or not. It does not require this much conversation or drama. Good grief.

    #753736 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity
    Member

    Maybe he’s acting like he isn’t interested now because when he said he wanted to kiss you, all you said was “I guess I’m fine with that.” If I got that kind of lukewarm response from someone I wanted to kiss, I’d take it as a sign they weren’t really into me. He told you multiple times he was into you, but you kept telling him he wasn’t. If I were him I’d get frustrated and stop trying, too. Or, maybe he was never that interested but was testing the waters to see if he might be able to get laid.

    Either way, if you’re fighting before you’ve even had your first kiss, he’s not the right guy for you. If he dismisses your feelings by telling you to get over them or that you shouldn’t have them for whatever reason, he’s not the right guy for you.

    And if you weren’t really that into him until he stopped chasing you, he’s definitely not the right guy for you.

    #753739 Reply
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    saneinca

    The LW is confused because the guy’s words and actions are not matching.
    It is possible he is messing with her. It is possible his ego is hurt and he is acting irrationally.

    Since LW already broke up with the guy, it doesn’t matter now.

    #753753 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    I think he’s realized he can’t be around you because he wants a romantic relationship and you don’t. The wanting to kiss may have been to see if kissing would give you the spark needed to want to date him but your response sounded bad enough to him that he realized you definitely don’t so to protect himself he needs distance.

    If he is telling you the truth he is way beyond able to be friends at this moment. He shared his desire for you and you don’t feel the same. He is hurt and embarrassed and needs time away from you.

    #753799 Reply
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    JD

    Eh, I think she is a pain in the ass. “If you like me you shouldn’t have to kiss me”. “If you like me you’d never have any reason to cancel plans”. Good grief. They haven’t even been out or kissed and she already so far up his butt they are arguing over it. He is dodging a bullet.

    #753802 Reply
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    Marie

    Rude much.

    #753805 Reply
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    JD

    You yelled at him for wanting to kiss you and you are worried that I am the rude one? Hahhaha

    #753807 Reply
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    Marie

    I didn’t yell at him. I told him nicely that it seemed weird that he needed a kiss to figure it out. If you really have feelings for someone you shouldn’t need a kiss to see if it’s real or not. It’s real life not some Disney movie where there’s “sparks”.

    #753808 Reply
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    JD

    Oh honey you are so young and naive. You actually can truly like someone and not really know if it works until you kiss. Petty common actually. Don’t pretend to know better than adults baby. And you yourself said you argued. I didn’t make that up. Just save him he frustration and move on.

    #753809 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Listen. Long story short. He’s attracted to you-you don’t reciprocate his feelings. He’s embarrassed by your rejection of him. That’s where things are.

    #753811 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Are you 18 years or fucking months old?
    .You know nothing about relationships, clearly.
    .
    Of course you have to kiss to know if the spark is there. Especially when kissing 18 year olds that know even less about kissing than they do relationships. Yeeeesh.

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