Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Am I wrong here?

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This topic contains 20 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Fyodor 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

Viewing 9 posts - 13 through 21 (of 21 total)
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  • #753812 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    And then and then and then and then!

    Actually, I have on several occasions had a crush on someone and realized once we kissed that it was kinda weird. It wasn’t about “sparks,” it was about having zero physical chemistry.

    That aside, this was confusing and hard to follow. It doesn’t sound to me like you’re that into him, but you still want him to put forth enough effort to prove how into you he is. You’ve rejected him (twice, I think?), he feels bad/embarrassed that he’s been rejected, you kept bringing it up (though I’m unsure why because, again, you don’t sound interested), and then told him to have a nice life. Oof. Anyway, this was handled poorly but it sounds like you guys could use some distance.

    #753848 Reply
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    saneinca

    Nowhere did the LW say she rejected him. They were friends, he expressed interest in December and then he said he was over it. She did not say whether she accepted or rejected.

    Recently he again said he wants to kiss (and possibly date ?) but then did not show up to actually hang out and proceed further.

    He seems to be ambivalent and she seems only semi-interested so it will probably go nowhere.

    #753962 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    A lot of people play games in the early dating years. Even later, if I’m being totally honest. You never once wrote that you liked him. Do you? Because that’s what you should be concerned about. Do you like him? Does he treat you well? Is he a good person?

    It’s over now, so I would just try to move on and spend less time wondering what caused all of this and just feel good that you aren’t wasting more of your time on him-a confused boy.

    #753967 Reply
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    Fyodor

    “Nowhere did the LW say she rejected him. They were friends, he expressed interest in December and then he said he was over it. She did not say whether she accepted or rejected.”

    ” I told him I don’t feel like he’s really interested and that he doesn’t really have a thing for me and he said he does honestly and I said but I don’t feel like you do and he said well I can’t force you”

    #753970 Reply
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    saneinca

    @Fyodor And ?
    That is when he said he is interested but did not actually follow up on it.

    #753971 Reply
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    Fyodor

    He said he had romantic feelings for her. She said she doesn’t feel like he does (i.e rejecting him), he said that he can’t force her.

    #753977 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity
    Member

    @Fyodor I interpreted the line “and I said but I don’t feel like you do and he said well I can’t force you” to mean she said she doesn’t feel like he truly likes her, and he said he can’t force her to believe him, not that she doesn’t feel the same way he does (based on the fact that the first part of that sentence was them arguing over whether he really feels what he says he feels). Irregardless of whether she said it outright, she certainly did not give any impression that she returns his affections at all. I highly doubt that he still feels anything for her after she had the nerve to tell him he wasn’t feeling his own feelings.

    #753979 Reply
    avatar
    ktfran
    Participant

    Exhausting.

    #753980 Reply
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    Fyodor

    That may be right. I really can’t tell.

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