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October 29, 2020 at 11:59 am #963807SarahGuest
So I have never been diagnosed with anxiety? I’ve went to therapy and talked about my anxiety that I have. and as everyone’s anxiety is different, mine is triggered in relationships. I overthink, paranoid and just toxic. I put all my focus on the relationship instead of keeping the balance of friends, family, work, fun. It effects my day to day life. I’ve went to therapy and it does help to a certain extent, but it’s like it only helps so much and I cant get past a certain hurdle. Lately I’m also starting to hate myself because of it, just seemingly taking over my life. I havent done anything today because last night I had an episode and I’m self pitying myself.
Now my question is, would anxiety meds help? Would they help calm my thoughts so I can think more clearly, or focus on things in my life that are important instead of dwelling on the demons in my head and making me feel stuck.October 29, 2020 at 12:38 pm #963814KateKeymaster
With depression or anxiety, you have to try different things to see if they work for you, and this needs to be done under a doctor’s care. Definitely don’t just start taking pills that aren’t prescribed to you. You should talk to your doctor or your therapist about getting referred to someone – probably a psychiatrist – who can both diagnose you and prescribe meds. Your therapist can’t prescribe.October 29, 2020 at 2:57 pm #963823SarahGuest
Thank you Kate, thanks for giving me advice on the best way to go about it. I appreciate it.October 29, 2020 at 3:03 pm #963824KateKeymaster
I think your best bet is to go back to your therapist (or a different one if that one wasn’t getting you anywhere). You’ll want to talk about your relationship style and what kinds of situations trigger your anxiety. Some of this could probably be handled with behavioral coping mechanisms. You can also ask about meds and whether they would refer you to someone who can help you with that.October 29, 2020 at 4:46 pm #963826CopaParticipant
I’m not a therapist, but I have seen mine for a handful of years on and off at this point, so have some experience going. It can take awhile to feel like you’re making progress. There are different kinds of therapy out there, some of which may be better for your specific needs, and you also need to find a therapist who feels like a good fit for you. It may be that you need to try a new therapist or a different kind of therapy. To be medicated, yes, you’d need to see a psychiatrist for a prescription. This is somewhat of a personal preference, but I’d treat the option of medication as more of a last resort (I wouldn’t want to be medicated indefinitely). But, again, you’d want to talk to a psychiatrist about it.
A couple years ago, I read a book called Attached, which is a psychology self-help book about attachment styles in relationships. There’s an anxious style of attachment that pretty much described how I felt and acted in a couple of my past relationships where my needs were not being met. (I’d find myself preoccupied with certain guys/boyfriends, would become very anxious if I felt like there’d been a shift in a guy/boyfriend’s behavior toward me/us, there were several occasions of acting in ways that I’m really not proud of, etc.) Your description of your relationship anxiety is pretty vague, but you may find the book (or attachment theory in general) resonates with you as well.October 29, 2020 at 5:45 pm #963828Ele4phantGuest
I was having a really hard time the beginning of the pandemic, but I’ve had anxiety and obsessive thinking for well, forever.
I got in touch with my primary care provider and got enrolled in a six month long integrated health program. I worked through a cognitive behavioral therapy program with a social worker, and was prescribed Zoloft to give me a little mental spade while I worked on building new coping skills and habits. Also, on the side but with my counselor’s encouragement I start meditating every morning.
It’s been amazing, I feel so much more resilient and able to cope with uncertainty and fear. Everyone is different, so what worked for me may not be what you need,and I think you need to do something more than just take meds, but I wouldn’t be scared to try them as one part of a more holistic care plan.
Good luck!October 29, 2020 at 5:47 pm #963829Ele4phantGuest
Also if you are starting to have suicidal ideation, please tell someone you know and call your doctor, right away.
That’s basically where I was at.October 29, 2020 at 8:18 pm #963835MaltaKanoGuest
Meds can be a great tool to provide some relief and get you in a better place. But you MUST also put in the hard work with a therapist to sort out the root causes of your anxiety and build a toolbox of cognitive coping mechanisms. If you don’t feel this therapist is helping you, try out another!October 29, 2020 at 9:06 pm #963838anonymousseParticipant
You should see a psychiatrist. Or look for a practice that has both therapists and psychiatrists.
Therapy sounds good for you because it seems like a lot of this comes from relationships and that can be because you have issues you need to address, or maybe the relationship isn’t good for you, etc. You can work to overcome your “toxicity.” (You wrote you were toxic.)
I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and medicated very slightly and it’s actually been very good for me.November 4, 2020 at 9:13 pm #964041SarahGuest
Wow, thank you everyone for your replies! It’s nice to hear your stories. I feel most of the time that not many people have this type of anxiety, or understand it. So it’s a battle everyday trying to understand myself and why I feel or get like this. I’m definitely going to take into account what everyone has said, and again thank you!November 5, 2020 at 6:12 am #964045LisforLeslieGuest
@Sarah – A LOT of people have this anxiety. A lot. Think about all of the stories you read about boyfriends/girlfriends who demand access to their partners’ phones, call and text incessantly, make them give up friends of one gender. That’s the same anxiety just turned outwardly.
I think therapy is a good path to help you develop your own sense of worth and find techniques to help you manage your anxiety. And while it’s not entirely chemistry, I’m a big proponent of meds, but it sounds like you need some foundational work as well.November 5, 2020 at 9:16 am #964051SMGuest
Sarah – I will say that I suffered from this a lot, specific to dating only. It did not happen with any friendships. I’d often wonder why it would take so long for him to respond to a text when he’s ALWAYS on his phone (facebook, google, etc). Or what took so long to respond to calls and all of that. I would stalk his social media to determine if he was facebooking but ignoring me. I say “his” like this was one guy, but it was all guys. I do not know what or why I was this way.
However, I will say, in my current relationship (6 months of being exclusive, 9 months of dating) I have NEVER felt any of that. I’ve always felt like I was important to him. I’m not sure if that’s me being more mature now and secure in myself at almost 38 years old. Or that I truly feel like this is the guy for me. I’m not sure it’s fully the age thing as I was dating someone a year ago and felt the relationship anxiety.
I agree with everyone else about a therapist/psychiatrist, and maybe discuss your relationship during your session. It’s possible your needs aren’t being met in the way they need to be and you just don’t realize it. Not saying he’s a bad boyfriend, just that maybe his love language is different than yours and he isn’t expressing his feelings in a manner that you understand.