- May 19, 2019 at 3:40 pm #843635
I think that your work lifestyle more than anything is going to make it really hard to find someone. If you work exclusively far away from women that you can date, you it’s going to be awfully difficult. I understand that people in your circumstances have had success meeting women through the various foreign online dating services (i.e. Russia, Philippines) , but that presents its own challengesMay 22, 2019 at 9:52 am #843872
It can and does happen. I met my husband when I was 45 and he was 57. It is the strongest, most stable relationship either of us has ever had and we honestly couldn’t be happier. Sometimes things really do just fall into place when you least expect it 🙂May 22, 2019 at 9:56 am #843874
I know plenty of people who have found love after 40. They are all on their second marriages, and don’t want kids, but their are a whole lot of people out their that find love at any ageMay 22, 2019 at 10:13 am #843875
Again. If you have enough coin — love will find you at any age… If broke? Get ready to die alone.May 22, 2019 at 10:30 am #843878
It is possible.
I was 47 when I met my husband. I had given up on dating and gotten a puppy (Stella). About a year later, I met him at a dog park. He has also given up and gotten a puppy, who is 4 weeks younger than my dog.
Our dogs are now 10 and we’re coming up on our 7th wedding anniversary at the end of June. I hate to be a cliche, but as soon as I quit looking, I found what I was looking for.
I think it had more to do with being my authentic self during the 5 months we walked around the dog park. There wasn’t the pressure of a “date.” We just walked and talked and got to know each other slowly. It worked.May 22, 2019 at 12:53 pm #843886
The OtherOther Me
Yep, met my husband when I was 41. Best relationship I’ve ever had. I hadn’t dated for about four years before I met him (post-divorce), but I was OK with that. I was happy with my job, my hobbies, my friends, and traveling. I think I was just open and finally ready to meet someone, but I didn’t try too hard. I did a little bit of online dating, but that didn’t work for me, so I just started asking out interesting people that I met in every day situations. Ended up meeting my future husband in a coffee shop that I frequented regularly, where he actually worked. Over the course of several weeks we started to recognize each other, started chatting, started to like each other, then eventually started going out. The rest was history! I think that you can still meet somebody, and even have a family, but your work and living situation is not very conducive. If it’s big priority to you to meet a life partner, you probably need to change your circumstances. Move to a place where there are a lot more single women that you are able to date, and get involved in more activities, such as sports, hobbies etc. And for what it’s worth, I have lots of friends who met their significant other after age 40. You’re actually just as likely to meet someone after 40 as it is before. It might not be as easy as when you’re in your twenties, but it’s definitely possible. Don’t let the naysayers or the media tell you otherwise.May 22, 2019 at 1:01 pm #843888
My mother started dating my step-dad at the age of 41. After two divorces and three children, she was not looking to settle down with anyone ever again. Yet, there was just something about him. They got married when she was 43. He’s always been a very positive presence in mine and my sisters lives, to the point where I consider him a second father. Even my dad (begrudgingly) likes him. This year, they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.
It does happen. In fact, it seemed easier for them to fall in love because by that time, they had enough experience to know what they wanted and what they didn’t want. Once they found each other, everything was easy (okay, my sister and I caused a little drama at first because we were kids and stupid, but we got over it). There’s is actually the only truly healthy relationship I’ve ever had to try tpo model my own after.May 22, 2019 at 1:05 pm #843890
I love these inspiring stories of love post-40!May 22, 2019 at 1:09 pm #843892
Sorry I posted my response without reading the whole thread- children will be harder if you date women your age (which I hope you will), but you never know what will happen. My stepdad ultimately did not have kids of his own, but I know he legit considers me his child too. My sisters’ kids are his grandkids. You can be a father even if they aren’t your biological kids. Plus, there’s always adoption, surrogacy, etc., which can be easier said than done, but there are options.May 22, 2019 at 3:47 pm #843912
I’m 43 and met my bf when I was 41. By the time we got together I had learned so much about what I want in a relationship and how to cultivate a loving relationship that I can honestly say this is the happiest I’ve ever been.
Both bf and I have kids from previous relationships and we’re both on the same page about not having one biologically. We are thinking about adoption tho.
If parenthood is something that you want to experience, you can achieve that on your own. parenting is hard work, but you can do it solo.
single mom.May 22, 2019 at 6:37 pm #843922
My mum met her partner of 15 years now when I was 24 so she was…. 52? I actually introduced them. They bought a house last year after spending years travelling across the country and they’re still super happy with each other and having all sorts of adventures. He couldn’t have kids with his wife but we’ve more or less adopted him. He doesn’t try to be a dad but he’s a member of the family. I think an arrangement like this could be good for LW, maybe look for that family in less traditional ways, there are a million different ways to create one.May 22, 2019 at 7:56 pm #843934
Yes!! I started dating again in my early 40s after a number of major life changes (new job, new city, lost significant weight). After about five months, I matched with my now-fiancé on Tinder. (Which horrifies him. However, as it was already downloaded in the family Apple account- his ex & used it to cheat – it was his only option so that a bunch of dating apps didn’t show up on his sons’ phones, lol.)
He had been on the dating site less than 24 hours…maybe only about 12 hours…when we matched. It was clear out of the gates we were meant to be together. We also both believe love is a choice.
Falling in love with him & choosing him has been the greatest blessing of my life. He is my true love, my best friend, my soulmate. While we both wish our paths had crossed decades before, we are grateful for every today we now have together.
Love in my 40s, with the right man, is completely freeing & liberating.
Don’t ever give up on love!