DW Community Catch-up Thread

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  • Samba
    November 4, 2015 at 11:35 am #392821

    LadyE, I feel for you. I have been there. Probably we all have at some point in another, in different circumstances but similar emotional turmoil.

    I wanted to say something just for you to mull over–it could not apply because I am definitely projecting here. But I went through many years of dating; multiple years-long relationships and months-long and many first dates, and I was not ready to have sex with anyone because of some anxiety over deep-seated fears or beliefs that were passed to me that I couldn’t shake. And this caused me to have some sort of subconscious feeling that I might not be worth someone great, because they’d break up with me if I wasn’t ready to sleep with them (and this happened sometimes, and other times it didn’t). I’m only saying this because it’s possible this plays into your choice of dates. You don’t have to necessarily date someone who is also very religious and waiting–if it’s the right person and you build a connection, they will understand because you are wonderful and gorgeous and funny and WORTH it. Maybe it won’t stick with the first or second guy but maybe the third or fourth. Just might help to expand horizons and raise the bar and believe that if you meet the right person it will work out and feel easy, at least most of the time. And agreed that it might help to talk it out with someone for a few sessions. You are a wonderful person and you will get through this and be happy again 🙂

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    November 4, 2015 at 3:18 pm #392892

    Maybe we can cheer the thread up a little with fun plans for the weekend? Does anyone have any? I’m going to visit Tinder Teacher and hopefully have a nice time. (after I go to a family thanksgiving where I’m sure I’ll be asked how I can afford my house and told that I’m a spoiled only child – different story for a different day.)

    TT wouldn’t let me cook for him last time so I’m bringing some homemade cinnamon rolls with me this time. Hopefully he likes them!

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    Lianne
    November 4, 2015 at 3:28 pm #392895

    @theLadyE how are you feeling today? I hope you’re doing ok…and I hope you are over the shock a bit and can put his behavior in perspective. Sending you hugs.

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    kare
    November 4, 2015 at 3:31 pm #392896

    I’m taking a half day Friday. Nothing too exciting, but still nice!

    Next weekend my best friend’s family is hosting a gender reveal. I’m excited to find out the sex of the baby, plus I like cake.

    Oh and my FWB has his huge annual BDSM event next weekend. I might go, but I need to figure out how much tickets are. People walking around in bondage gear while vendors sell sex toys just sounds like a fun place to be.

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    November 4, 2015 at 3:33 pm #392897

    @LadyE – I’ll stray from the others, and I’ll say that I’m not sorry for you, or that you experienced this. Not because I’m being mean, but because you just dodged a hell of bullet. You’ve realized a pattern, realized that this guy is stringing you along and you had your gut telling you stuff was off, and now you’re free form his push and pull bs that he did to draw you in. I completely think that by now he expected you to give it up, while saying he wasn’t ready for it, blah blah. You can’t change a person. You can’t fix someone that doesn’t realize they need help or who don’t want the help (even when they know they’re broken).

    I am confident that you’ll recover, learn, and move on and come out better than ever. Life is full of change, and through these experiences we learn to change our expectations, and learn to expect better, to be treated better, to feel better, to be happy. Please do seek counseling if you can to really pinpoint the pattern, to learn new steps in identifying the manipulation, etc.

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    November 4, 2015 at 3:37 pm #392898

    As for this weekend, I have a baby shower to go to. So meh. SKyGuy will be out of town with the dog so I’ll have the time to myself, may go to the aquarium, it’s been a while since I’ve gone. That and some sewing this weekend. So a relatively boring weekend.

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    November 4, 2015 at 3:56 pm #392900

    So…. this weekend, my cousin is in town for my other cousin’s (her sister’s) shower. I think I while ago I asked if I should invite the guy. I did. But he has another engagement. However, tomorrow night my aunt that lives in Chicago is having dinner and he’s coming with. So… he’ll meet:

    Two aunts
    Three cousins
    A cousin’s husband
    And three of my cousin’s kids.

    YIKES!

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    Lianne
    November 4, 2015 at 4:12 pm #392906

    Awesome @ktfran! Super exciting to introduce him to family. I am sure it will go great!

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    November 4, 2015 at 4:23 pm #392909

    Yay Ktfran! Hop you have fun!

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    November 4, 2015 at 4:35 pm #392912

    Thanks. I’m sure it’ll be a good time. My family is super friendly. Scratch that. My mom’s family is super friendly. My dad’s, not so much.

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    November 4, 2015 at 5:02 pm #392915

    Hey peeps!
    I actually don’t have any exciting plans for the weekend… I’m going to an engagement lunch on Sunday for a friend of my parents/former neighbor who is getting married next year. She’s really sweet and I’m happy for her- she’s in her mid-40’s and met her fiancé online maybe a year or 2 ago. She’s as happy as could be, and had told my mom that she never thought she’d ever get married. (So! There is hope for us all! 🙂 ) Other than that, I have some chores to do, including putting together a presentation to give to my office about the conference I attended at the beginning of October. (not fun, but it’ll be good to get it done, or at least partly done!)
    .
    I went on a date last night to a craft beer place- Nice guy, very chatty, works in tech but down to earth and has many different interests. Overall, a nice way to spend an hour and a half. Don’t think I’ll see him again, but that’s ok. I’m really not pursuing much of anyone on eHarmony… I frankly am not really excited over the matches I get, and I’m feeling a bit like I just want to be left alone right now. I have a lot going on, and I just am not excited so I’m not stressing over it right now.

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    November 4, 2015 at 5:06 pm #392916

    @Moneypenny did last night guy even seem like friend material? I never liked eharmony much. It just seemed too forced. Do you do any of the free sites like okcupid? I had some decent luck there.

    But hey, if you wanna be alone you do you girl! I get that feeling from time to time and just delete all the apps.

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DW Community Catch-up Thread

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