DW Community Catch-up Thread

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    November 26, 2015 at 8:41 am #400301

    I’m also VERY guarded @ktfran but it seems kind of a necessary thing right? You like this guy a lot and want to be with him for a long time, it makes sense to make sure you want the same things in the future.

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    November 26, 2015 at 2:32 pm #400307

    I usually ask those questions after a few months simply out of curiosity. Sometimes it comes up naturally in conversation though. Most of the time the baby talk doesn’t mean much to me, I am not looking to start a family yet, but always good to know anyways so that if it does get serious I know where they stand.

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    November 28, 2015 at 6:22 pm #400445

    I had a nice double date thing last night with my FWB and a couple he’s good friends with. He even brought an umbrella for me because he knew I’d forget mine. Then of course vodka and amazing sex.

    And next weekend I have a date with the son of my mom’s friends. He seems nice enough, but a bit immature for my taste. He’s a year older than me, but my FWB and the guy before that are more than 10 years older than me. I live on my own and pay all my bills myself, so it’s kind of a turn off to me when a guy still lives at home, doesn’t pay for stuff, and didn’t finish college because he took the wrong classes (what?). Am I too picky? I’m going to at least go on a date to avoid a guilt trip from my mom.

    And that’s about it. I’m more worried about my career at this point to be honest. I kind of want to change departments, but I don’t think I’m eligible to be released at this point. But it’s getting to where changing positions is the only way I can get more than a cost of living raise because our department keep getting budget cuts. :/

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    November 28, 2015 at 7:05 pm #400452

    I don’t blame your disappointment, that would turn me off as well….

    Unfortunately I am in a situation right now where I am pretty dependant on my parents, living at home, working a minimum wage job and still trying to find a ‘real’ job. But I hate it and want out ASAP haha

    I finally got a second “date” with my FWB Wednesday, which wasn’t too bad. Sleep over too! Although we don’t have another time set up… aside from a craft show thing in 2 weeks.

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    November 28, 2015 at 7:35 pm #400455

    Oooh a craft show thing sounds awesome!!! That’s so up my alley.

    I wouldn’t mind if someone was dependent upon their parents and actively working to better themselves. I’ve been there. It took me a year to find a job out of college that wasn’t retail. I’d also understand if someone was finishing up their education or saving for a house. But I know so many guys my age content with living at home that don’t have a savings account and spend all of their money on video games, beer, weed, or a combination of the three.

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    November 28, 2015 at 10:21 pm #400473

    haha ya I told him I was at a craft show a few weeks back and he was so excited cause he likes them too! So I suggested it as a ‘get out of the bed’ idea. He also likes doing walks around neighbourhoods to look at architecturally interesting houses and christmas decorated houses, which I am too. Sooooo liking this guy right now 😛

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    November 30, 2015 at 9:43 am #400638

    Can I tell you about the accidental date I went on? Yes, accidental.

    So TT and I ended things last weekend and I wasn’t really looking for a date quite yet. But my sneaky co-worker asked me to come out for drinks and dinner Saturday night with her family, and I adore them so I agreed. Welllllll, her mom had other plans and invited her boyfriend’s BFF to come along and “meet Veritek for a date.” Too bad Veritek didn’t know about this.

    I get to the restaurant and the only empty chair is right next to this guy. Nice enough, decent looking, but I’m just not ready/excited for dates right now so I was kinda overwhelmed. He was fun to talk to but I just can’t see going on a date with him. He’s 10 years older, not really what I’m normally attracted to, very conservative etc. And it made me really uncomfortable when he paid for my dinner and drink without asking me. I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS ON A DATE. And then my co-workers mom gave him my cell phone number and he texted me afterward. Oy. I was not prepared for this. So long story short, he really likes me and wants to go out again – but he lives 3 hours away. JUST LIKE TT.

    We all know how that ended.

    So that’s the story of Veritek’s accidental Thanksgiving weekend date.

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    November 30, 2015 at 9:50 am #400639

    You’re like, 31 or so, right? So… ten years older really isn’t that big of a deal. Actually, I’d say that age difference sounds about right. Him being “very conservative” sounds gross, but maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds. Unless he’s racist or homophobic or sexist, it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker maybe. and, you know, I think giving someone whose looks you are “normally attracted to” a chance can be a pretty powerful thing. Having fun talking to someone is super important. It’s half the battle. Or at least a third of the battle. And who cares if he lives three hours away. You said yourself you live in a smallish town where the prospects are very limited. Don’t assume every long-distance thing is going to be like it was with TT. If this guy really likes you and is willing to come see you and take you out, let him. If after spending a real date with him — just the two of you — you aren’t feeling it, move on. But I don’t see what harm there is in going out with a guy you think is nice and decent looking and you have fun talking to and who really likes you.

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    November 30, 2015 at 10:11 am #400640

    I’m sure they meant well, but giving you his number without asking you first is a little cringeworthy.

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    November 30, 2015 at 10:17 am #400641

    On the upside, guys in that age group tend to not text that much.

    But yeah, it sucks having people fix you up on accidental dates. If you’re not interested, then just tell him. There’s nothing wrong with saying you were kind of blindsided by the set up/not looking for a LD relationship/etc.

    Of course, it doesn’t hurt to see what could happen. I don’t think the age difference is a huge deal, but my FWB is 15 years older than me. I know it’s a stereotype that women mature faster than men, but most guys I know tend to embody that.

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    Kate
    November 30, 2015 at 10:33 am #400642

    Yeah, I really don’t see the issue with him being – gasp – forty!!! Your age range is 35-42, NOT 28-35. And decent looking and nice to talk to? Hmm. He’s not the one who ambushed you either, the lady is.

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    November 30, 2015 at 10:40 am #400644

    I agree with the age range @Kate proposed, at least if you are looking for someone to settle down with. But the guy still has to appeal to you at least a little bit. Personally I couldn’t date a conservative guy, that’s one of my hard limits.

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DW Community Catch-up Thread

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