December 30, 2015 at 11:18 am #405246December 30, 2015 at 11:20 am #405248KateGuest
I’m not anti sex at all, I just don’t think now is the right time with this guy, who I like so far.December 30, 2015 at 11:22 am #405250
Yes – with ex, it was date #2; with now husband, it was date #5. I am not saying that’s the right formula. I just knew that for me, once I am intimate with a guy I like, it escalates. I wanted to really get to know A before jumping into the sex so I wouldn’t confuse things in my head and really understood my feelings.December 30, 2015 at 11:24 am #405252Addie PrayParticipant
ktfran, that is really sweet! i can’t wait to meet him.December 30, 2015 at 11:26 am #405254veritek33Participant
Yes absolutely. Tinder Teacher was date #2 and that was just too fast. With both of my long term exes it was date 5-6 or later (can’t remember precisely) so even though those didn’t work out ultimately, the slower pace did help.
@Kate oh i know you aren’t anti-sex, I knew what you meant.
I just want kisses. Suss out the chemistry and such. Because he has to report for his two weeks on Monday and I sure wouldn’t want to wait until the middle of January for a kiss.December 30, 2015 at 11:26 am #405255LadyinpurplenotredGuest
Just to post a different story, with my boyfriend of almost 4 years, we had a one night stand that turned into our relationship and did all the stuff you are doing and ended up just fine. It’s not always doom and gloom.
And Ktfran, that’s adorable!December 30, 2015 at 11:37 am #405257ktfranParticipant
AP – he lives SO CLOSE to you. Like, River East close. We need to meet up sometime. And I need to meet your little guy. Seriously. Also, I still have a book for you. Sitting in my apartment. Waiting to be read.
Ver – It is good that there’s an expiration date. Maybe instead of Dexter, you should go out for breakfast/brunch?December 30, 2015 at 11:38 am #405258KateGuest
Yes, relationships happen from first date sex. Given Veritek’s history, and the specifics of this situation, I would advise her to kiss him on NYE and then find out if they continue to organically date (I.e., is there relationship potential), and sleep with him after some physical and emotional progression happens. Doesn’t have to be long.December 30, 2015 at 11:46 am #405260
Yes, agree with Kate. This is about history and patterns and helping her see them to protect herself, really. I know lots of people who had first date sex/got comfortable quickly and it ended in long lasting relationships. That’s not the point I am making at all.December 30, 2015 at 11:47 am #405262KGuest
Just catching up on all this now… @TheLadyE, go you for having some fun! When I was 28 I had a one-night stand with a 22 y/o. Actually, we made out at my friend’s bachelorette party (we were out at a bar), then I went back to Vermont to visit him a month later and I spent the night, then we never saw each other or talked again. He was really hot and it was fun, it’s a good memory and this guy will be for you too even if you don’t keep in touch!
@ktfran, that is such a cute story!December 30, 2015 at 11:48 am #405263LadyinpurplenotredGuest
I will agree with that, but I will also say, staying in and watching some Dexter doesn’t mean overly familiar. It gets exhausting going out a lot and it can be really good to see what a person is like in a relaxing environment without doing anything over the top.December 30, 2015 at 11:50 am #405264LadyinpurplenotredGuest
I think there is just too much in the opposite direction. Veritek, you are doing fine! Have fun, don’t worry, and keep your eyes open.