DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I don’t know many women who would be ok with the whole “well babe, we just have to play it by ear” mentality in early dating. The only time I’ve had that happen to me is when the guy was really just looking for a hook up on occasion. I am not saying that’s the case here at all, just that you should not feel like you’re in the wrong for wanting more. Even the other scenario you mention – Sunday is my day off, can’t make promises, etc. – shouldn’t be ok. A guy (or girl) should be making a plan. If HE doesn’t have time to date right now, he should just say that. Agree with snoopy – DO NOT make a date for 5 weeks from now. Just leave it open – when you’re less busy get in touch if you’d like and we can see if there is still potential here.
@jlyfsh, @lianne and @snoopy thank you. Honestly I kind of felt like an asshole feeling this way because he IS working insane hours and that has to be tough, but it’s just not enough for me. I’d like to be able to see the person I’m dating at least once a week at minimum and if he can’t even do that right now, I don’t think it will work.
Thanks for making me feel better because I thought maybe I was being unreasonable or wanting too much.
You’re absolutely not being unreasonable. It sounds like he doesn’t have time for dating right now with his work hours being so crazy. Seeing someone once a week is not too much to ask for.
Veritek – your last sentence is very telling. To want to actually go on a date with someone you’re dating is not asking too much. I know you’re working on you, so I think part of that needs to be figuring out why you think that way. Being the cool girl is not going to get you what you want. Being you and owning what you want is.
@veritek33 Piling on to say I agree, no need to be the chill chick who can hang out at the drop of the hat. I am big on formal plans even if it’s only let hang out during the day on Sunday and time and place are confirmed the day before. It’s just respectful of each other’s time. Most guys figure out that if you don’t book me like a week in advance I am likely to have plans because I like to have a full life. I think he might be a great guy but yeah, just let things go for now and see if it makes sense when timing is better. No sense in starting things off on a frustrated foot (that made more sense in my head).
Yeah I agree. I try not to be too rigid but man, I like having a plan or something to look forward to. I don’t like being “on-call”.
Honestly, I don’t think after 2 dates it’s even worth a conversation. If he does suggest doing something in the near future, say “that sounds nice, I’d love to do something if I’m free”. Then keep living life. If he is free and you made other plans, it’s not the end of the world. Just focus on yourself.
In other news, I get to go back to once a year pap smears, I don’t have any stds, and the lump my doctor found in my breast is benign. Yayyy! It’s been a stressful week waiting on all of my results to come back.
KMEN, KMEN, KMEN – How did Saturday got? (It was Saturday that you were going to do brunch and then meet friends to watch a game, right?)
AP – Brunch, then Art Institute to see the new Van Gogh exhibit, then a bar to watch the game with his friends, then my place to listen to music until like 1 am. Really long date! I am just perplexed how he didn’t kiss me…moment was there like 5 times. I think he’s a really sweet nerdy guy who is nervous with me. With his work trips and my Miami trip we can’t hang out until next Friday at the soonest. Just feel like everything is fantastic but he could kiss me and it could be…zip. Zilch. So I kind of just need to get there to know where I am at. But yeah texting everyday and pretty sure he’s super into me.
Also I obv changed my sn a bit, too many people outside of here know my but my original screen name.
Thanks!
I’m glad your date went well. Hopefully on the next date he works up the nerve for a kiss. I can’t decide how I feel about someone if I haven’t kissed them yet.
Friday I went out with my FWB and we met up with another couple (the guy is the one I hooked up with on new years). Then Saturday I visited my friend and her adorable new baby, went dancing with my other friend, then hooked up with the guy from new years. Sunday both guys were in a fashion show at the goth club, so I went to that with the guy’s girlfriend. So overall a successful weekend. 🙂
