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Dear Wendy

DW Community Catch-up Thread (Formerly ‘Anyone going on awesome dates?’)

Home Forums Advice & Chat DW Community Catch-up Thread (Formerly ‘Anyone going on awesome dates?’)

Viewing 12 posts - 4,333 through 4,344 (of 11,282 total)
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  • #680266 Reply

    @MissDre I thought I posted this earlier but it appears I didn’t. Anyways, one of my best friends is happily married to a guy she saw literally five different times, including their wedding.
    They met here during a wedding, spent a couple of days together. Then he came to visit for a week a couple months later. Then, she went there two times for two weeks with a couple months in between, and then they got married here. We are talking very long distance (UK-Latin America), 8+ hour time difference and all. And they made it work. They have been married for 4 years.
    Even after they got married, she had to spend six months here waiting for her visa. So, it can be done. Good luck.

    #680271 Reply
    Avatar photoStonegypsy

    I’ve been mostly lurking, but really enjoying everyone’s updates!
    I feel like for the most part this thread goes through phases of – 1) Everyone’s got something exciting happening! then 2) The exciting things fell through for all but one person! then 3) Everyone’s kind of taking a break from dating then 4) Everyone’s got something exciting happening!

    I definitely understand your anxiety, but it sounds like everything is really good right now! Even if things don’t last, worrying about it and overthinking it isn’t going to prevent that. It’s easier said than done, and I don’t follow my own advice half the time, but try to enjoy what things are now and force yourself to stop thinking about what might happen.

    I went out with a guy a month or so ago, which didn’t really pan out. And I was kind of relieved because I was wondering how I was going to make time for another relationship if things went well. And then not too long after that I met a guy at a friend’s birthday party, and there was instant connection and chemistry. I didn’t follow up with it at the time, because I was there with J and that would have been rude, but I added him on facebook the next day, and managed to find an excuse to engage him in conversation when he posted about a couple of books that I really liked. I bought a ticket to an event he was going to this last Friday with the hopes of running into him, and he came and tracked me down as soon as he got there! We ended up hanging out until 3am, and even then it was hard to part ways. I’m really excited, and looking forward to seeing what it turns into. I’m not wondering how I’m going to make time for another relationship because I’m excited to spend more time with him. I keep forgetting what that feels like. So that’s my minor update!

    #680279 Reply
    Avatar photoveritek33

    I wish I had fun updates but my dad has been hospitalized for the last week (bypass and stroke) so my life has ground to a halt. I had to cancel a date and miss a wedding I really wanted to go to. And he’s my dad so I can’t be mad, but let this serve as a lesson to everyone – take care of your health now.

    #680281 Reply
    Avatar photoStonegypsy

    @Veritek I’m so sorry! That is terrible. I hope he recovers quickly.

    #680287 Reply

    Sorry to hear about your struggles, Veritek.

    #680308 Reply
    Avatar photoCopa

    @veritek Sorry to hear about your dad! That must be really scary and stressful. I hope his recovery is speedy.

    Not much to update on my end. I have a second date on Thursday with a guy I went out with a couple weeks ago. He has a pretty heavy work travel schedule so I’m not too optimistic at this point, but had a great time with him on our first date and would like to see what happens. Over the past couple weeks since we last went out, there have been some text check-ins every handful of days, but that gets old to me after awhile without time together in person.

    I was supposed to go on a first date with someone else over the weekend, but I couldn’t make Friday happen and he couldn’t make Saturday happen. I feel like I’m doing all the work to coordinate (and it’s not going well! haha) so I’ve pulled back to see what happens.

    Has anyone on these forums recommended Matthew Hussey? A friend of mine told me about his YouTube channel over the weekend and I can’t recall if he has been a point of conversation around here.

    Unrelated to dating, but last summer, I moved into a new apartment. About two months after move-in, they did some repairs in my apartment, and after that there was a two week span where I’d see occasional roaches (like,
    4 total — and yes, gross). The landlord had an exterminator come by and spray the place down several months in a row, and I haven’t had any problems since. Until this morning when I found one belly up in the bathroom. I assumed it was dead, so I tried to sweep it up into a dustpan — but it was still alive, and crawling all over my broom, and gross, gross, gross. I want to move. I don’t want even the occasional roach (because they don’t live alone!), and I’m dreading talking to my management company about this because they were such jerks about it last year.

    #680313 Reply

    Matthew Hussey is alright, but I prefer Evan Marc Katz. I also like Adam LoDolce, but EMK was a game changer for me.

    #680329 Reply

    Sorry to hear about your dad veritek, I hope you’re going ok.

    #680382 Reply


    #680383 Reply

    EMK = Evan Marc Katz

    Here are some links of his that I really liked:






    I’m sure he’s not for everybody, but I found his articles very helpful and I love most of his advice. I bought his book “Why He Disappeared” (paid way too much money for it, but after getting ghosted for the millionth time I figured I was obviously doing something wrong and needed to change my strategy) and I thought it was really insightful.

    #680442 Reply
    Avatar photoCleopatra_30

    Accidentally posted this in the wrong forum post! So hence why it is a repeat.

    So I have a third date with a guy tomorrow. So far, of the guys I have gone out with in the last few months, this one has really clicked, and he seems to feel the same. However I know I don’t want kids in the future, so it is a deal breaker if the guy does. I know it will only be 3 dates, but I would hate to get something good going and then find out later that our future intentions don’t match. Is it appropriate to pose that question this early? Or wait till things get a bit more serious a couple months down the line?

    We met through Okcupid but he didn’t have whether he wanted them on his profile, and I don’t recall him answering the questions relating to that. He took his profile down recently, so I can’t look back to confirm.

    #680443 Reply

    Yes, it’s fine to just bring it up casually. People ask me all the time if I have kids or want kids. Total strangers. It’s a very normal question to ask after a few dates. What’s their position on kids. Do they have any? Do they want any? You should pay attention to what’s in their profile though… if they say “definitely want,” I wouldn’t waste my time, knowing I probably didn’t. My profile said “maybe someday” or something, and I was 36, so I think it communicated “probably not.”

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