I’m not friends with my exes, but am friendly if I see them. About 2 years ago I ran into my ex at the grocery store. He was with his mom, so nothing had changed. (His mom used to do all his grocery shopping for him. I guess it was a step up that he was actually accompanying her.) We talked for about 10 minutes and it was fine. Overall, I think being friends with serious exes is a bad idea, and it’s something that can only potentially happen over time, like a few years later.

One other comment… I slept with a guy at work a few times. Not in the same department, but the office is just one floor. We just pretended like nothing happened, and there was NO call for anything other than a “what’s up” in the kitchen or hallway. We stopped texting, emailing, etc, and all was fine. Obviously he wasn’t my boyfriend, but the point is it’s easy enough to go back to polite civility and nothing more.

I’m not friends with any exes, and somehow managed never to run into my most recent ex in six years even though I still hang out with his friends. Once my husband went to a party he was at when I was out of town… they each knew who the other was, but didn’t talk or anything. I get texts every now and then from my first husband. That’s it.

I can change my gym, but I really don’t want to. I’ve been going there for four years and I love it. I know a lot of people there. He joined like two years ago, after insisting that he wanted to go with me to the gym. I didn’t want him to join because I wanted it for myself. And he insisted. So he broke up with me and if anybody should be changing gyms it should be him.

Is it a small gym? Is changing up your gym time (or asking him to change his) not an option?

He has some strange behaviour, all I can really add. With such a fresh breakup, he shouldn’t be so friendly friendly.

I have a first date from Bumble planned Saturday night. I’m busy all week and he’s busy Friday. This is actually my first first date at night, so hopefully this will be OK without a ready out. From what I can gather through pictures is he’s an adorkable jock. He’s also 25 to my 27. I never really thought I had a type but I can safely say this is not my usual type. I’m weirdly excited, trying to keep expectations low. Right now I’m doing this awkward dance of like not wanting to ask too many questions to save them for the date, but I have so many questions! We first started chatting Sunday and then I (!) asked if he wanted to meet up yesterday and we organized that. I feel the best thing is to let a few days pass without texts before a first date given this time frame, but he texted me tonight and it is nice that that perhaps he wants to stay in my mind. Well, take this day by day until Saturday I guess…

@Copa doesn’t hurt to reach out casually and say “hey, just wondering how you’re doing. Would be great to see you again soon if you’re feeling up for it” Sucks that it may just be bad timing for him to date.

Ale it sounds like you’re doing everything you should be right now, and eff him for wanting to be friends again straight off. I’m only friends with one ex, and it was a. my first bf so we have that “grew up together” thing and mutual friends and b. we had a lot of time after dating of no contact before we restarted our friendship. I think if you can’t see that person with someone else and for your first instinct to be genuinely happy for them and to be sincerely unfazed, then friendship isn’t possible. He needs to respect your space to move on.

I’m busy packing for my trip tomorrow and SO EXCITED!