lucia_laDecember 15, 2017 at 9:16 am #729338
Oh don’t worry, I definitely won’t be bringing up anything political. Doesn’t sound like that would be a great first meeting convo, haha. Both our families are super liberal though.KateDecember 15, 2017 at 9:55 am #729340
Mine too, but you never really know. Come to find out, the one Trump supporter is my 15-year-old cousin, a woman of color. Gag.
OMG I just ran into my ex – first time seeing each other since we broke up over 3 years ago. I felt SO AWKWARD. We said an awkward hello and then he took off like a bat out of hell, did not stay around to chat (not that I wanted him to) and not even a polite “see ya around” or “nice seeing you” … Ugh. Seeing him made me feel gross.
Yeah, that sucks. It happened to me a couple months ago. I hadn’t seen him in 6 years, and I had been to a million social events with his friends. We had managed to avoid each other by looking at the e-vite RSVPs, until this guy started using texts to invite people (obviously to hide the guest list). I thought everyone knew we don’t go to the same things, but he walked in and I was like, oh fucking shit. I stayed for another hour and then ghosted out the back door. It really sucked and made me feel gross too. His wife wasn’t there and my husband was out of town. Just weird. All I said to him was, “Heeey, R… Awesome.”
It’s crazy about how many awful feelings bubbled up inside me when I saw him. Anxiety, anger, embarrassment… It’s one of those situations where all I can remember are the negative things. I can’t figure out why I stayed with him for over 4 years…. what were the positives??
Also, it’s nuts when I compare him to my current partner. They are polar opposites… a difference of night and day.
I remember wanting to get away for the weekend, do something different than sit around on the couch. So I said Hey! Let’s go to Montreal! I used my AirMiles to get us a really nice hotel suite. And… he didn’t leave the lounge of the hotel for the entire weekend. He just sat on the couch and watched tennis the whole time and ignored me.
So I ended up spending my weekend emailing back and forth with FireStar. She kept me company and kept me calm through a personal crisis (thanks FireStar). That was definitely the beginning of the end… but for some reason I stayed for 2 more years.
Ugh. I guess I’m still angry at him.TheRascalDecember 20, 2017 at 8:29 am #730365
@MissDre, my husband had an ex-girlfriend who essentially did the same thing on a trip to French Canada! They booked a long weekend and she didn’t leave the hotel the entire time. He ended up leaving during the day to explore/see the city, and she stayed in the room watching tv and smoking pot all day.
Once my ex was trying to get back together, and promised me a trip to California where we’d fly into SF, rent a convertible, drive through “wine country,” and end up in San Diego for a wedding. I totally fell for it. We ended up flying to L.A. and staying at his sister’s apartment who was out of town. Her apartment was beyond dirty – really gross and filthy. My bf was so grossed out, he started trying to clean it right away. But we stayed there instead of going to a hotel, and slept in her room with 500 stuffed animals.
He had a complete freak out / meltdown because the L.A. freeways are so different and weird to drive on, and I personally can’t read a map, and this was in like 2005 before smartphones and GPS. I had to call my dad and be like, wtf should I do? I want to get on a plane and come home. He told me not to leave my bf there, and talked me down.
So I booked a resort in Palm Springs, told my bf to pack up his shit, get in the car, stfu except for reading the map, and I would drive. So I got us there, and he was happy as a clam sitting by the pool in Palm Springs. I was like, are you doing work? He said no, he was making a spreadsheet of our receipts so far, to keep track of how much I owed him, basically.
So, yeah. There’s waaaaay more than that, and I broke up with him as soon as we got back, but we were on and off for like 5 more years. I was crazy back then.
You’re not alone…TheHizzyDecember 20, 2017 at 9:38 am #730369
It’s acceptable to not leave a hotel if you’re there having sex with your partner. But…..maybe go out for air once in a while.
A few months back I ran into my “ex” that was the the guy I was dating before my fiancee. I remember I thought he was SO HOTT when I dated him. Now, he’s SO NOT because I see his true colors. I, thankfully, live on the opposite side of the country from all my serious exes. But, I am facebook friends with 1 (he’s married and I helped introduce him to his wife). They just had their 3rd kid and I think to myself “I’m so glad we didn’t stay together.” Nice guy, just not for me.
I’ve only run into a serious ex once after the break-up. I knew he’d be there (we were both taking the bar exam) and because this was pretty soon after our break-up, I thought if I strategically ignored him, he’d want to get back together. (Embarrassing, though I suppose it’s a good thing I ignored him.)
There was another guy that I “dated” in college, who was SO EXCITED to see me years later. It was actually nice to see him, but I felt stupid because I hadn’t showered and was in sweatpants. (Always get dressed, guys! You never know who you’ll run into!) I’d actually love to bump into him again, haha.
There’s the possibility of running into my other serious ex when I visit my parents’ area, but odds are low. I’ve thought about it before, and I truly do not know what I’d do. I’ve always thought if it happens, he’ll be with his wife (who he was cheating on me with and married about five minutes after we broke up) and kid. It took me a long time to get over him and the hurt he caused, and I don’t think I’d handle it well. I don’t know that I’d even say hi.
I run into guys I’ve dated casually in my current city on a fairly regular basis. Saw one last week from two years ago on my lunch break, but I couldn’t tell if he recognized me or was strategically ignoring me. It took me a moment to place him. One guy lives about a block from me and I see him probably once a month if not more. It’s a bit awkward even with the casual guys, but not a huge deal.
So, yeah, sorry you ran into him! Where were you? Did you at least look like a babe?KDecember 20, 2017 at 11:18 am #730378
It’s always the grocery store! That’s where I ran into an ex of mine a couple of years ago. We actually talked for a few minutes and it wasn’t too awkward, but then his mom came over and I felt awkward then. His mom always used to buy groceries for him and drop them off at his house. I guess it was a slight step up that he was actually accompanying his mom shopping, but basically he was a man-baby. He also was the type who never wanted to go anywhere and would just stay inside playing video games and smoking pot all the time.
@MissDre Eh, it’s not a big deal at all. I just remember feeling most awkward about my appearance with the one ex that I saw when I was in sweats. And this was at my heaviest weight, so I was like 30 lbs heavier than he would’ve remembered me. It’s silly and shallow, but if I’d known that bump-in would happen, I would’ve wanted to look great. Or at least normal. Or at least happy. (I had just broken up with someone else, and wasn’t taking the best care of myself.) Anyway, yeah, when I imagine a scenario of running into my cheater ex and his stalker wife, I actually imagine it at the grocery store. I don’t know why since none of my run-ins have been at a grocery store, but it just seems like the most likely spot. Or maybe it’s because that’s where exes on TV bump into one another. Lorelai Gilmore ran into TWO exes at grocery stores, so I mean…
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