January 14, 2018 at 10:10 pm #735913hfantodsParticipant
Oh yeah, ITA the question in and of itself isn’t weird or anything, it’s just conversation. In a jokey, light hearted tone, a “so, are you guys dating or something?” would be fun and fine. Maybe this guy just does not have much tonal variety. Just a bro-ey guy. I wasn’t offended either that he wasn’t sure. He also left after a few sentences (“I was just here to get my drink”) so I thought it was a little awkward/rude but hey, it’s a party. Anyway, my boyfriend indicated that the guy isn’t very nice so maybe that altogether formed my judgment. Also, totally cool if you don’t get along with everyone. And sure, answering the question was fine too.
I think I introduced my friends to my current boyfriend about a month in. It felt a tad early, but it just happened that my friend was having a games night so it was a nice opportunity.
I didn’t really tell my friends when I’d be going out on a first date (other than maybe one for safety reasons) or even second or third, mostly because I wouldn’t know how long it’d last. But it’s also been nice to tell/know about the early dates, like one of our friends told us about a nice first date she had and that she was going out on a second date that evening, and they’ve been together for almost two years. I was going to write, maybe she just knew, but she also told us about other guys early on who didn’t work out and that was fine too.January 15, 2018 at 8:46 am #735927TheHizzyGuest
@MissDre I don’t have that connection like people talk about. FMH says he feels it, but I don’t think I have ever really felt it. I have never really believed it. I explain to FMH how I feel and he points out things that are connections with me. I’m still “Meh” about it. That said – he makes me feel safe and I don’t have to guess how he feels about me. He makes it pretty damn clear, so that aspect is nice.January 15, 2018 at 10:06 am #735932lucia_laGuest
I feel the same as what a lot of you described! It’s always just been easy with Banjo. No guessing, no mind games. I also didn’t tell friends about it until a month, which is a big difference from how I normally am (oversharing about dates to all my friends, haha).
I’ve never felt that 16-year-old style “OMG I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU”. Just a loving comfortable-ness. We get along really well. We have similar lifestyles and values. We communicate. We have some similar interests and and friends and some different. We respect each other. It just works.
In other news, we spent Sunday buying some furniture and then going through Banjo’s/soon to be mine place, and we got rid of 13 bags of junk/old papers/etc. Feels so good to go all Marie Kondo on our shit. Now to do the same to my stuff…January 15, 2018 at 10:29 am #735935KateGuest
I have felt the “omg special connection” before, with a guy who turned out to be real sketchy. And I’ve felt that intense chemistry that’s really based on push & pull, drama, and incompatibility.
When I was dating my husband, it wasn’t those… but it was also more than that he treated me really well and we had the same interests. We felt like somehow we were the same person. Definitely a soulmate connection (though I don’t believe in just one soulmate). It was/is special.January 15, 2018 at 10:36 am #735936KateGuest
Or I guess, beyond treating me well, in a way that a good guy will treat any woman well, it is like he completely gets me and knows what I need. And I feel like I get him too, like decades of relationships with other guys we’re preparing me for this, and like, oh, he makes complete sense.January 15, 2018 at 10:44 am #735938scorpioMember
@lucia_la I have been purging a lot of stuff lately and it is such a good feeling to see so much stuff leave your house. I tackled my office this weekend and filled 3 recycling bins with papers and old boxes to get rid of, and an entire box of stuff to shred.
I read the Marie Kondo book a couple months ago, parts of it made me roll my eyes, but it really does make a difference mentally to clear stuff out and get rid of the clutter.January 15, 2018 at 10:54 am #735939TheHizzyGuest
I went to a dress consignment store over the weekend. I hate how everyone’s solution to “Oh you’re on the fence about this dress? LET’S ADD A BELT!”
No.January 15, 2018 at 11:25 am #735942PortiaParticipant
Lol TheHizzy! I think I came across the same advice when searching online about mine. I ended up with a different dress in the end, bought about a month before the wedding – I don’t recommend following in my footsteps, that was a little stressful…
By the way, if you’re looking for a fairly not-judgemental place on the web specific to weddings, I very much recommend Reddit’s weddingplanning subreddit (reddit.com/r/weddingplanning). It was a good resource to me during planning.January 15, 2018 at 12:09 pm #735951TheHizzyGuest
@Portia – I am on there and I don’t THINK I’m posting anything offensive but my stuff gets horrific down votes for no reason! I asked a “What have you seen or done in the past with this situation” that got down voted like nuts. I’m a lurker more than anything there.January 15, 2018 at 1:38 pm #735969PortiaParticipant
Hm, that’s odd. Honestly I’m not as sure about upvotes/downvotes. I don’t think votes mean good or bad, and I just looked through my own commenting and posting history and the votes themselves don’t make a lot of sense, especially compared to other subreddits… There seem to be a lot of lurkers who vote in weird ways and I’ve never quite figured that out.
For comments, though, if say that’s where the usefulness/support is. That is in pretty stark contrast to other wedding boards, if you’ve spent any time on them (theknot, etc.).
I will say that the posts that seem to get the most traction are when support is really needed (calling off a wedding, venue burned down), when someone is asking for feedback on something specific (makeup/hair trial, invitation mock-ups), pictures (dress shopping, pro shots), and recaps. Most of the time I lurked as well – browsed or searched for topics that had already been covered. There is a wealth of information in there.January 15, 2018 at 1:50 pm #735971TheHizzyGuest
@Portia I love the breakdown ones. It puts things into perspective of how much people spend. That’s been very insightful. Thanks for the tip 🙂 Maybe I’ll run across you without realizing it in the Reddit world.January 18, 2018 at 9:26 pm #736246CopaParticipant
Sooo I’m supposed to go out with BCB on Sunday. He just texted that he think he caught the flu so I’m thinking we may have to postpone, and I don’t want to because I think we’ll lose momentum. So I guess I’ll just wait it out.
I started talking to a guy on Match who seems really great. We’re coordinating for a first date and aiming for next week! I know I’ve complained (at length, and I’m sorry!) about the guys I see on that site on here, and obviously I won’t know until we meet what he’s actually like, but he seems like a normal, quality dude in a Match’s sea of sad, lonely, and desperate.