Thanks Kate and Regina! I completely agree. I do notice my gut talking- and in this case, I wasn’t sure if there was something off going on, or it was just his personality/habits, or my past experiences coloring my thinking. At any rate, my brain (my nicebrain!) is saying, well, it was only 2 dates, no big deal (eta: that, and talking for almost a month as well). That’s nothing. But my heart kind of hurts. And a tiny part of me is second guessing myself- I did something wrong! But I know that can’t be it. It’s just frustrating since I am totally ready and wanting a committed relationship, but I’ve been getting nowhere!Regina ChapmanSeptember 26, 2015 at 12:49 pm #383976
Nope, you did nothing wrong at all! If a guy was feeling that ‘relationship click’ with you, I doubt there would be very much you could do wrong – apart from gross personal hygiene stuff, or, like, kicking an old lady – to dissuade him.
At least he was honest and saved you time, and possibly you getting more involved, by ripping off the band-aid quickly.LovelySeptember 26, 2015 at 1:46 pm #383977
@Monneypenny it sucks when your feeling a guy and he isn’t feeling it. After only a few dates that is probably more your ego talking and not your actual real feelings. It sounds like he wanted to like you since he kept it going for a little bit, but that something was missing. It also sounds like you did nothing wrong so just blame it on phermones. He probably thought you were awesome but that the chemistry was just off, so you can take that as a compliment and hold your head high. You will have more prospects soon. For me it always comes in waves. I either have a bunch of men chasing me or none at all.kareSeptember 26, 2015 at 2:31 pm #383978
It sucks that he wasn’t feeling it, but that’s good he was honest instead of ghosting you. Plus sooner is better than later. There will be more prospects before you know it! I feel like they come up when you least expect it.
I’m still doing the FWB thing, and it’s good so far. I just don’t feel emotionally available for a relationship at the moment.Regina ChapmanSeptember 26, 2015 at 4:20 pm #383982
Congratulations on your first kiss Emsz!!LovelySeptember 26, 2015 at 10:28 pm #384002
First kiss! That’s huge! Congrats.kareSeptember 26, 2015 at 11:44 pm #384005
Congratulations!!! That’s so exciting!
Ya sometimes your gut instinct isn’t what you want to hear. But it is for the best! Never give up!
I ended up talking with some guy on OKcupid while drinking with a friend the other night. She egged me on, since she is doing the same thing right now. We ended up chatting more yesterday via text and really clicked! Lots of banter, which I love, and we have similar tastes physically. So we are meeting for drinks tonight 🙂 Hoping it goes well!
The Police Man though texted me last night too. We chatted lightly for a bit, and he just wanted to clarify what I was looking for. It all seemed mute considering I turned him down. Then later he texted me while he was on duty and wanted to chat cause he was bored. And he diverted the conversation to deeper sexual stuff. I tried ignoring and making jokes, but he was persistent and continued. And eventually I got sucked in, he really got me hook line and sinker, and I guess played off the bit of chemistry we had when we met the other day, which was definitely present. So I finally said I would be willing to meet again and see where it goes. I am not quite regretting this choice, as there is definitely a side of me very curious to how he and I would mix. He is older, more experienced, and seems very confident with what he wants and can do. And my curiosity got the better of me.KateSeptember 27, 2015 at 11:59 am #384034
I don’t know, Cleo, I would be wary of a guy who you turned down but doesn’t seem to care and is putting the hard core pressure on. I would re-think this. I know you’re just looking for sex but it’s still off.