Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Anyone going on awesome dates?

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This topic contains 9,285 replies, has 87 voices, and was last updated by avatar Ange 2 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 9,253 through 9,264 (of 9,286 total)
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  • #849754 Reply
    veritek33
    veritek33
    Participant

    MG- I’m feeling a ton less anxious today. We really had a good talk last night and laid out all of our options and we have some choices to make. He is also gathering his thoughts and would like to meet with his parents and sister to discuss what happened. I will not be present for that discussion.

    I’m picking the brain of my friend that stayed in a resort in Santorini and looking up go fund me options to get BGM to Orlando next spring…

    It’s a delayed reaction but it’s progress I suppose. He’s being very analytical about it and wants to write it out so that he remembers what he wants to say if things get heated again.

    #849757 Reply
    MaterialsGirl
    MaterialsGirl
    Participant

    I get that.. i don’t do well with a witty response under pressure. Comebacks are not my game

    #849760 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    You don’t need a clever remark in a situation like this. You just need a firm “Hey. Let’s not do this right now. Let’s have a nice meal together.” The *family member* says this, to their family. Then the family member takes it offline with their family and figures it out. Later. Never should the S/O be sitting there fighting it out with the family or making it a “Me / Her” thing. At the end of the day, this is a sibling thing and they need to work it out with each other and their parents.

    #849764 Reply
    MaterialsGirl
    MaterialsGirl
    Participant

    Kate: yup. “no” or “not now.” those are my go-tos

    #849767 Reply
    Portia
    Portia

    Ver, even if there’s not much to take now, think about the money you’ll make after getting married – in most states, that’s all marital property without a prenup. And if MoV has trouble standing up to his sister now… Well, it’s a good idea to talk to your attorney friend to know what your state’s laws are and what different scenarios might look like. Plus you might want to look into the laws in any state you think you may move to one day.

    Also, I’m not sure how many money conversations you’ve had with MoV… In my case, drafting a prenup was a good way to start some tougher conversations about money I didn’t even think or know about. One example off the top of my head is what happens if one of us becomes disabled, which has a ton of implications.

    #849768 Reply
    MaterialsGirl
    MaterialsGirl
    Participant

    @portia, you just reminded me that we need to send in our paperwork on disability insurance..

    #849769 Reply
    veritek33
    veritek33
    Participant

    That’s a great reminder Portia, we do need to look into all those things and discuss them.

    #849771 Reply
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    Fyodor

    Responding to some of the earlier comments, I dont think that you’re doomed, and I don’t think that it’s necessarily a warning sign about your viability generally.

    Most people are not used to being a couple and many people may just ignore their family’s bullshit because they’re used to operating as a single unit. But it is a problem and you need to feel confident going forward that he has your back and will stand up for your new family.

    #849773 Reply
    avatar
    Ange

    I think as long as you don’t go as far as my family and start a fist fight on the front lawn at Christmas you’ll be doing great Ver.

    #849774 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Fistfight at least is over quickly and there’s a chance to win.

    #849793 Reply
    veritek33
    veritek33
    Participant

    I’m twice her size so I like my chances in the fistfight, tbh.

    #849876 Reply
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    Ange

    It’s the tiny angry ones that fight dirty so keep your brass knuckles handy.

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