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Dear Wendy

Anyone going on awesome dates?

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  • This topic has 9,441 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 1 day ago by TheLadyETheLadyE.
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  • #860534 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    @courtney89 That’s kinda fun! You’ll have to let us know how it goes! I wouldn’t worry a ton about the age difference. You’d know already if he were immature and obnoxious. I was always okay dating younger and found that the age for how much younger got a bit wider as I got older (e.g., at 25, I didn’t want to date a 22 year old, but at 30, I would’ve been fine with a 27 year old). I almost always swiped left on people I knew in person.

    I am honestly pretty jealous of Canadian Thanksgiving’s timing. I hate how close Thanksgiving and Christmas are for us. It makes an already busy, already stressful time of year busier and more stressful. I live in a different state from my family and holiday travel is expensive.

    #860537 Reply
    avatarscorpio
    Member

    I agree @copa, it is nice to have it spread out, especially when you come from a family that celebrates Christmas for basically all of December!

    I did American Thanksgiving once with some friends in Chicago and we had a blast, I will say American Thanksgiving seems a bit bigger than Canadian, which would also probably stress me out a little bit regarding the timing.

    #860552 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    I am/was literally booked up every weekend from last weekend through the end of the year thanks to holiday crap. No thank you!

    #860555 Reply

    Scorpio, I hope I’m wrong but I think he honestly wants to date and sleep with other women and you should let him go. Stop talking with him. He’s not a friend. He doesn’t have your best interests in mind and is using you for attention at this point. If he really loved you and wanted to be with you, he’d be with you. It doesn’t sound like he’s some inexperienced twenty year old. Don’t let him have his cake and eat it, too. He’s stringing you along and I know you don’t want to become the side chick. Staying in contact is just prolonging the hurt for you and helping him feel like he’s the good guy, even though he broke up with you to date other women.

    #860586 Reply
    avatarRangerchic
    Participant

    Ok – I was just typing up some stuff to say and a huge ass Lexus add popped up with no way to close the damn thing. It took up the entire middle of the screen. I even clicked on the add to see if that would work but it did not. I also have add blocker so I’m not sure what happened with that one. It’s happened to me before (though not in a long time) on other sites too (so not blaming the site or anything). Just expressing how annoying it is to have an add and no way to exit it.

    #860587 Reply
    avatarRangerchic
    Participant

    So back to what I was trying to say…
    Sorry about your breakup @Scorpio. Breakups are hard.

    I too hate how close Thanksgiving and Christmas are together. Though we live too far away from family to celebrate with family every year now. So it’ll just be my husband, youngest daughter and me for both this year I think. I’m fine with it though I do miss the bigger family gatherings back home sometimes.

    And @Ver I’m sorry your SIL is on the not-so-nice side. I have a wonderful SIL that my brother married. She is honestly one of the nicest people I know and I feel very grateful after reading some of your stories.

    #860948 Reply
    Cleopatra_30Cleopatra_30
    Participant

    So my ex wanted to chat last night, and we did, he told me he is leaving the city and moving back to the one we were living in prior to this move here. His work isn’t great, getting paid just enough and the work itself isn’t helping grow or learn more. He isn’t a fan of the city either, although we had discussed that before I broke up, so I knew he wasn’t a fan, but I guess after 4 months of him living in the city it hasn’t changed for him. He feels undervalued at his job, and his old workplace is apparently swamped with work and so he found out through an old coworker and was offered a position to go back there. He is leaving early December from what he told me.

    Reason he wanted to talk, the apartment we were renting together will have to be sublet as it is still under the 1 year rental agreement, and since my name is still on it, he asked me that in the worst case scenario if I could show the place if it is still vacant after he leaves. At first I said yes since I am still on the agreement (should have asked to be taken off), but now I am thinking if worst case scenario does happen, to see if he can get a friend to do it for him. I think it is a little unfair to wrap me back into this after he leaves and has me deal with a place I no longer contribute to. In addition the tenancy bylaws require the landlord to show the place, and not the past tenants, so hoping he can stronghold the landlord if he insists so I don’t get wrapped up in it.

    Alas, a lot of emotions were felt yesterday. As much as he has no reason to stay (in his own words), a part of me is still emotional and attached (only been 2 months), and so it was hard to hear the figurative door really slam close at the knowledge of him moving back across province to work and live, and really being separated and distanced from him. We haven’t talked up until yesterday, so we are keeping our word to remain unattached. But I think I still liked the knowledge of him being around the city and having some connection that way. A lot has changed in the last 4 months for him, moving, new job, new city, breakup and now moving again, and I can only imagine how he is managing and dealing with it. So my worries and sadness pale in comparison and I guess are selfish to feel upset on him leaving. But I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon after. I knew he didn’t like the city and wondered if it would happen (him leaving), but not for a year at least. It just sucks.

    #860954 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    Cleo, am I reading the situation to be that you guys rented the apartment together and you moved out when you broke up? If so, you may want to consider doing it, since it involves dispensing with a joint responsibility that he took over. Otherwise, it doesn’t sound like your problem.

    #860956 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    Hmm. Well, you ARE still on the lease, so I don’t know that it’s unfair to ask you to help (especially since you could still be held accountable for the place under the agreement). I also wonder if, after four months, he has close friends to ask to do a big favor like this for. You may well be the one person he actually felt comfortable enough to ask.

    If it is in the bylaws that the management company must show the place, then that is the route you should both take notwithstanding.

    Is breaking the lease an option? I once moved just a few months into a 12-month lease and was surprised at how accommodating management was.

    #860962 Reply
    Cleopatra_30Cleopatra_30
    Participant

    I think breaking the lease won’t be an issue, the landlord was pretty reasonable and seemed to be understanding of the situation my ex was in after the break up. So I am keeping my fingers crossed something positive will come of the lease break.

    I mean yes, we did jointly sign the lease agreement, but my ex was the primary cause he had a more stable wage than me, so that if this did happen he would be the most realistic person to keep the place due to his wage.

    He does have friends in town, one of them whom we attended their wedding this June, in addition to another friend who helped us out a bit when we were initially finding places here. I did immediately say yes to him, as I wanted to help, and the point of me being on the lease was also obligatory to help as well. Just started thinking more about it and if it was really necessary for me to be involved if it does come to it. But I understand your points for still helping if need be.

    #860963 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    Well, I hope it won’t come to the worse case scenario and that you won’t have to be involved! I’m sorry the break-up still hurts, but I think that’s pretty normal. Don’t beat yourself up too much!

    #862362 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    How did Thanksgiving go for everyone?

    I had a blast with BG down in Florida. He went golfing a couple times with his step-dad so I spent some time with just his mom, which I was a little nervous about, but it was fine. I like her and have no doubts she loves me. She has sent me a few texts telling me she misses me, heh. BG and I spent the last night just the two of us and watched the sunset drinking a couple beers on a beach, which was my favorite moment of the trip. It felt like one of our early dates.

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