July 27, 2020 at 11:34 am #907684FyodorGuest
Yeah, the Bride of Fyodor likes to game out remote hypotheticals to an extreme degree, which I find terribly stressful.July 27, 2020 at 12:16 pm #907745
Fyodor – yeah my therapist and I are working on that part of my personality. It’s all part of the anxiety trap.July 27, 2020 at 1:02 pm #907805FyodorGuest
She loves it! It’s only stressful to me.July 27, 2020 at 2:16 pm #907901courtney89Participant
Veritek, just sending you good vibes with your SIL. It’s a tricky relationship, all i know is that i sure wish my bro’s wife made more of an effort like you did. Just not the person she is.
Wendy does make a good point about future cousins, etc.. especially, i know you’ve said you’re an only child, i believe? SO she is essentially your future kiddos only ‘biological’ aunt / will have their only ‘bio-cousins’ (i have non-bio aunts (family friends) who are more of an aunt to me than all 3 of my dad’s sisters, so truly, NBD), but it is something to consider when interacting with her. She sounds like a sure pill, and you sound like you’ve bent over backwards. Ugh 🙁July 27, 2020 at 3:14 pm #907977
@courtney89 yup, I’ve considered that she will be their only biological aunt. And I want any future children to have a relationship with her IF she can be a non toxic presence in their life. I have people in my life that fill the role of siblings that will be great “aunts and uncles” to any future children. My parents had a combined 8 siblings and I’m close with maybe one of my aunts. I was closer to my mom’s best friend and was devastated when she died.July 27, 2020 at 6:45 pm #908266AngeGuest
Honestly Ver you should have been on the corona taskforce, god knows that kind of sensible planning and forethought is sorely needed there.July 31, 2020 at 9:48 am #915949
Kind of a non-update update in my relationship but we finally have a move-in-plan. Woo! BG has decided to sell his place and it’s going on the market early next week. We toyed with the idea of buying a place together (with some additional agreements in place between the two of us to protect us in the event of a split) but I ultimately didn’t feel comfortable with that. And he doesn’t want to go back to renting unless he absolutely has to. So he’ll buy a new place alone but with my input and I’ll move into the new place. We’re hoping it sells fast so he can put an offer in on a place we saw recently that we both loved — it has it’s own private rooftop! 😮 The current owners have temporarily taken it off the market to do some updates, which I thought was weird (why not just lower the price and let the new buyers update to their own tastes?), but we’ve been in contact and they don’t plan to raise the price after the updates and also won’t be showing it during this time… so this decision, though odd to me, buys us some time. Or, since I’ve been reminded by a couple friends not to fall in love while house hunting, maybe it’ll be another awesome unit down the road. We’ll see! But I feel so relieved to have come to an agreement together that we are both comfortable with. I’m tired of the schlepping back and forth between our places. And as someone who has lived in 100+-year-old buildings for years, I’m also pretty excited at the idea of things like a modern kitchen and central air.July 31, 2020 at 1:14 pm #916318MoneypennyParticipant
Copa, That sounds like a great idea. And a nice compromise! Hopefully this place will become available just at the right time, but if not, I’m sure you will find another equally excellent place.
I have finally decided that I’m going to move permanently into my bf’s house probably at the end of the year or early next year. I’ve been living here pretty much full time already- most of my immediate-need stuff is here, but I go to my apartment for random things and to pay rent. My rent is low, as far as SF rents go, but it’s a glorified $$$ storage unit at this point, and as far as bf feels, I live here already. It’s been me who has been dragging my feet! His house is a fixer upper so I’m already in the middle of tools and walls with no drywall on them, so most of my stuff will stay in boxes for awhile til it makes sense to actually unpack them. At the same time I love my place, but… I’m never there. so.August 3, 2020 at 1:12 pm #924395
@copa and @Moneypenny those are great updates!
Husband of Veritek and I didn’t have to really figure much out, he offered to move to my city and I already owned my home. If we’d been in the same city or both owned homes it might have been more of a discussion but it turned out to be pretty easy.
The fun part has been letting him settle in and make it his own over the last 19 months we’ve lived together. We started looking at houses to buy together but decided to hold off and stay in our home for a few more years until we just can’t stay in it anymore because of space issues (assuming we have a kid or two). It’s so affordable and it was my single woman dream house so we want to get a few more years out of it. Historically houses in my neighborhood have sold very fast as well.August 3, 2020 at 1:55 pm #924485
I can’t believe it’s been 19 months since MoV moved in!
BG’s place officially went on the market today. The place looks great in photos and BG, my sweet eternal optimist, is hopeful for an offer within a couple weeks. So we’ll see what happens. A couple places we both “favorited” in our search for real estate went off the market today.August 3, 2020 at 6:59 pm #925007hfantodsParticipant
That is so exciting Copa! Hope your boyfriend’s place sells soon!
I wish my boyfriend and I could figure out our living situation plans. The good thing is that we have had more serious discussions on it since I last wrote about it here. We are both renting now. I have been able to save for a downpayment for a number of years. He has also been saving. But, like you @copa, we are both iffy about buying a place together without at least being engaged. The thing is, I don’t really want to rent the next place I move. We have started looking at listings though and driving around neighbourhoods and it’s kind of exciting. We both have the same idea of price range which I am relieved about. So there’s some progress, but there are important decisions left to be made.August 3, 2020 at 11:40 pm #925453
Three showings already lined up for tomorrow!
@hfantods It took us basically all of 2020 to finally come up with this plan. But to be fair, we had a plan — that I’d move into his place and deal with a less-than-ideal commute for awhile — then COVID got real here. Initially I was freaked out at the thought of having movers in my place when we knew so little about COVID, but by June, my worry was about having enough space if we’re both working remote until probably sometime in 2021 and wondering if we should push out our timeline to give us more space when needed.
TBH, the older I got, the less I wanted to live with someone before at least being engaged. Though I ultimately did decide we should move in. I would’ve preferred to rent together first once selling his place was back on the table, but am fine with our plan. I know some people would balk at the idea of contributing toward someone else’s mortgage but meh. If you’ve been saving to buy anyway, you could always do something similar. Looking at new places has been fun — we get all geeked talking about what we’d do with different spaces in units we both loved — so I hope you guys are finding some enjoyment in it too.