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Dear Wendy

Apartment Share Rule

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  • #843041 Reply

    I had this issue with my roommate, she would smoke in her room and it REEKED, made the whole apartment smell. We compromised and now she usually just has gummies, but the initial solution was a vape pen only to be used in her room or she had to smoke in her bathroom and exhale into a paper towel tube stuffed with paper towels and dryer sheets (this masks the smell pretty well). A lot of smokers I’ve met have no consideration for others so working with them might be easier than fighting with them, good luck!

    #843043 Reply

    Thanks for all of the replies I appreciate you taking the time to give advice.

    I think the main thing that would be important is that my boyfriend would have my back when it comes to this issue.

    If he isn’t willing to even discuss this with the guy or if the guy pushes back and tries to get his way and he doesn’t say anything for fear of upsetting this guy then I just can’t move in and will have to wait until we can get our own place.

    #843063 Reply

    Even if you guys discuss it with him and he agrees, there’s no guarantee that he’s going to follow it. There are tons of letters on here where people’s roommates do obnoxious things and there’s little to nothing that you can really do about it if they don’t care about being a good roommate.

    I think this is a bad idea. Moving in with people who have different ideas of how it should go is a big risk and then you’re kind of stuck with them.

    #843483 Reply

    Ugh, the smell of pot is totally soaked up by couches. If you watch TV or fall asleep on a couch that your roommate smokes pot on it will get passed on to your hair. Don’t do it.

    #843514 Reply

    I don’t understand why you and the BF are scared to rock the boat a little? I would have a meeting with all the room mates involved and say my piece, we are all living here so we should all pay our equal shares, and if that individual want the sports package? pay the difference, after all he will be having friends over to watch sports with him weekly. If he cant afford it? tough luck find another room mate because there are lots of people out there looking for cheap rent. I would state I have health issues to smoky environments. Need to grow a back bone or just sit there and take it all and let this guy trample all over you both.

    #843521 Reply

    Probably because Potsmoker is the only person named on the lease and it’s cheap rent.

    #843522 Reply

    Have you read the lease? Are you sure it allows smoking? I cannot believe the landlord is OK with smoking anything inside the apartment, let alone something with such a strong odor. It’s going to cost the landlord a small fortune to get the stink out of the place after you guys move out.

    #843526 Reply

    I will say there seems to be some misconceptions about marijuana smoke vs. cigarette smoke. I smoke almost nightly in my bathroom with the fan going and window open. You can’t smell it at all after an hour or so. I can smoke in my car and wear the same shirt the next day and there is no residual smell. I doesn’t hang around like cigarette smoke does. That being said, you have every right to decide what type of place you want to live in, but in all the situations I have lived in, whoever was there first gets more of a say. You should absolutely have a conversation with everyone, but if you fall to the minority you might want to consider living elsewhere.

    #843527 Reply

    I live alone, so roommates aren’t a factor, but I smoke sometimes at night because it helps me fall and stay asleep. The smell is potent while you are smoking, but in my experience disappears relatively quickly. My place definitely doesn’t stink, and neither does my hair.

    That said, I think this is a bad idea. I don’t see why your boyfriend is trying so hard to make the one roommate happy when there will be five of you living together. I think this is setting a bad precedent for him getting his way all the time once you’re all already living together. It really shouldn’t be this touchy to tell your boyfriend you have dealbreakers for your living situation, but since it is, I think it means it’s the wrong situation for you.

    #843588 Reply

    Don’t become a roommate in this situation. If there are already tensions and you have to pressure your BF because he lets his roommate do as he wants, then that is a bad start. Stay where you are or find your own accommodation. I would never want to live as a couple with roommates: recipe for problems.

    #843882 Reply

    Geez how big is this apartment? With 4 people living there, sounds really cramped. I agree if you’re a full paying roommate then you have some sway in the negotiations. Its reasonable not to want him to smoke in the house, especially if that has already been the rule.

    I would probably let the sports package part go. How much could a sports package split 4 ways even be.

    But aside from all that, I would think long and hard about whether this is really a good situation for you and for your relationship. If you’re sharing a room in this apartment then neither of you will have any space of your own, just the bedroom where the other also lives and the common area where 2 other dudes are watching sports and smoking pot. It doesn’t sound great from a personal or relational perspective. If you and bf can’t afford to live on your own, maybe its best you keep living with your respective roommates and have sleep-overs or whatever but still maintain your own space.

Viewing 11 posts - 13 through 23 (of 23 total)
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