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Dear Wendy

Are my parents abusing me or is this normal?

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  • #1095427 Reply

    I’m a 16 year old girl. My family and I moved out of my home country when I was 5 years old. I went to a new school and I overall had a very depressing life. When I went to school my classmates would push me off the see-saws and keep throwing stuff at me, then when I came back home my mom would beat me up and throw stuff at me. She would hit me with her mop and roll me in the carpet. She even slapped me. As I grew older, the bullying in school got so bad that a girl once stabbed me in my head with a protractor. My mom also smashed my head into the wall because I didn’t wanna go out with her to an orientation and that caused me permanent ear damage. The abuse got so bad that I used to stand alone in dark alleys hoping to be kidnapped even though I knew I could get raped but anything was better than that situation.

    Fast forward a couple of years, my mom stopped beating me as much, she just hits me and when I come crying begging her to stop, not because of the pain that the beatings cause, but because I want to be loved for once, she just cries and says that I’m being selfish and then I’m forced to apologize to her even though I’m the one who suffers PTSD every night because of what she did to me.

    Next year I have college and I want to move back to my home country. My parents think that its a very poor country and they want me to go to germany instead. My dad told me he would never give up on this opportunity. Now my problem is that my parents want me to take 8 extra subjects as requirements for german college even though I wanna move to my homecountry which only requires one subject that all my friends will be taking. They’re saying I’m being a brat and I just don’t want to study. Who do you guys think is right? And am I being abused? Also it’s important to note that I sometimes bond with my mom but sometimes she just threatens to hit me and hits me then denies it.

    #1095434 Reply

    Cut them off. Hitting you’re kids isn’t normal, under any circumstance. Get away from them. Your mother doesn’t deserve much as the same air. Leave.

    #1095435 Reply

    Your mother’s treatment is abuse. Quite serious abuse. You really say nothing bad about your father. Does he know about and approve of your mother’s behavior.

    Your father is probably correct that you are best off going to uni in Germany. Really no way to say for certain without knowing where you live now, what country you want to return to, and whether your family can afford for you to go to uni in Germany. Can you afford uni anywhere if you just dump your parents? Serious question. Once at uni, no matter where that is, you are pretty much free of them just need to keep them happy enough to send $.

    Sounds like you are, or about to be, adult age and can make your own decisions.

    Going to uni in your home country, because your friends are going there is a bad reason. Going there because you don’t have to take as many courses now, if the necessary course load is doable, is a poor idea.

    Perhaps you have a good reason to return to your home country and uni there. The big question is how it fits into the life plan you want for yourself. What do you want?

    #1095484 Reply

    This bitch is no mom, she doesn’t deserve you. If you have family or a friend you can go stay with, GO ASAP. If not, you can report her to family services. They will bring up charges against her and find you a safe place to stay. That’s not love. I could never raise a hand to anyone, let alone my own babies. I hope you get out before she really hurts you.

    #1095490 Reply

    Lauten — It doesn’t sound like she is American.

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