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Ashamed or hiding

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  • #879899 Reply
    avatarDajana
    Participant

    Ive been in a relationship for a year now, ive introduced him to my family and friends,yet he has never introuded me to anyone. We both have children.. He has met my kids and even spends time with them on a daily bases. He leaves every afternoon to be with his kid. Ive asked him many times if hes hiding something or whats the reason as to why I havent met him or his mom… Yet he always avoids the question and gives something completly out of the question. I havent asked him anything regarding this situation anymore yet everyday when he leaves to pick up his kid and be at his moms house, it makes me Wonder if its because he is ashamed of me or just hiding me..?? I cAnT think of another reason…

    #879902 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that he has a wife or a girlfriend, and you’re the sidepiece.

    You haven’t met anyone in his life at all? No friends, coworkers, siblings, cousins?

    #879904 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    Why is he going back and forth between your house, his kid’s house, and his mom’s house? You realize we are under a shelter-in-place order, right?

    Also, he is lying to you.

    #879905 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Yes, it is probable that he’s still married, possibly separated and he goes and sees his kids and his wife everyday. Stop being so naive. You probably should break up, considering he doesn’t respect you enough to give you an honest reason or even answer the questions you ask.

    There are bare minimum requirements for being in a relationship, and it doesn’t seem like he’s meeting them. The question I have for you is…why have you let this go on for so long? Why would you let him into your children’s lives?

    You need to work on your self esteem before you even think about casually dating again.

    #879906 Reply
    avatarDajana
    Guest

    Yes ive met his coworkers and his sister only. And when he is at his moms house with his kid he calls me or send location just so im not over thinking things… I let him into my kids life because he spends the night, he works like a block from where I live. I think if it were another girl she wouldve notice unless he is really good at hiding things or shes ok with him being with me.. Idk.

    #879911 Reply
    avatarPurpleStar
    Guest

    If he not proud enough of his relationship with you to introduce you to his mother and child(ren), then you should have more pride in yourself and break up with him.

    Does he and his kids live with his mother??? Or is that the only place he can see them? And, if so why?
    Where is the children’s mother?
    How often have you seen/spent time with his sister and co-workers?

    Most importantly, why in the hell are ya’ll running around to each other’s houses during a shelter in place order???

    #879912 Reply
    avatarDajana
    Guest

    I never spend time with his coworkers its all guys, with the sister only twice. I spend time with him everyday, he sleeps here we have break fast and only leave to go work comes back for lunch and the in the afternoon takes off to pick up his kid at his moms house and takes him to his moms house. Thats where he spends all afternoon and then comes back at night.

    Guess we’re not in the same state so its more complicated…

    #879913 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Does he pay for rent, food, utilities? Did he introduce you to his coworkers and his sister as his girlfriend? Where is the mother of the kids? Why does he only see his kids at his moms house? What do you mean he lives in another state?

    #879914 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Does it really matter if he’s ashamed or hiding you? They are both really bad, and should be dealbreakers. Aim higher. For your kids, at least.

    #879917 Reply
    avatarDajana
    Guest

    Well he did give me money to pay for stuff now a days I dont know whats going on but he hasnt anymore… Hed rather not even eat here and shaddy stuff like that. And by another state I meant me, cause in the other comments theyre wondering why hes going back and forth to his moms and here and I said we are in a different state and the situation is different compared to other places. And to answer your question as to why he see his kid at his moms is because he basically still lives there.

    #879918 Reply
    avatarJennifer
    Guest

    You’ve been with this guy for a year. He spends the night at your house with your children present. It sounds like you are letting this go on because you are afraid of what the actual answer would be. Not knowing is way worse than knowing. So, you sit him down and you ask these questions you want answers to. If he gives you the answers great. Maybe they will be what you don’t want to hear, but you will then know. If he still refuses to answer, well that is also an answer. Any time someone point blank refuses to answer a question like this, it is because the answer is something they are trying to hide. I wouldn’t want to waste another second on a boyfriend that hides things from me like this.

    #879923 Reply
    avatarAnchrige
    Guest

    So…. Where does he live? With you, his mum, or his baby mum?

    Again, we’re in a global pandemic, he should NOT be flitting across households, especially if he’s going back to a potentially elderly mother.

    It sounds like he’s treating you like a hotel, or seizing on the accommodation offered.

    If you weren’t giving him a bed for the night, would you ever see him? That, or he’s going back to another woman’s house – a non-live-in wife or girlfriend, who is probably the mother of his child.

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