Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Asking For A Friend: Would You…

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  • #1117013 Reply

    Would you have a casual relationship with someone who is married if you knew they had permission from their spouse to see other people (as long as it’s never discussed?)

    If you were single and not looking for something serious for yourself at the moment.

    #1117019 Reply

    No I wouldn’t. How do you know, other than what the person is telling you/the friend that the guy has “permission” to have sex/affairs? And how sure can you be that the idea of casual will not change and leave you wanting more/a relationship? People often get hurt this way, things turn out badly.

    #1117020 Reply

    No, I wouldn’t.

    But even if you’re the kind of person who just wants something casual, there are plenty of single people out there, why fuck a married guy?

    Not that this would ever be a good idea, but you would absolutely need to hear it from the person’s spouse, that they give their blessing, otherwise it’s almost certainly a lie the guy is telling.

    #1117021 Reply

    Seriously, why? Screw unmarried men for casual sex, he’s lying.

    #1117022 Reply

    The thing is, in working functional, open relationships, it is discussed. No secrets are kept. And that’s how you know this is bs.

    #1117026 Reply

    I wouldn’t get involved with someone who has a don’t ask don’t tell arrangement even if I knew they were telling the truth. I wouldn’t want to have to worry about whether their partner finds out or not.

    #1117027 Reply

    Use condoms and another method of bc if you’re making ethically ambiguous choices with other people’s legal spouses. Really it’s the least you can do.

    #1117028 Reply
    Avatar photoDear Wendy

    There are enough single/unattached/actually available men to sleep with. Why set yourself up for drama?

    #1117033 Reply

    No because this exactly what my possessive, controlling ex used to tell young women he wanted to have sex with, while going through my handbag for evidence of my “infidelity” (there was none).So many single men out there, pick one of those instead. The whole “we don’t talk about it” thing sounds like “she doesn’t know about it” to me. Even if she does, why not have more fun without any strings at all?

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