Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread

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Viewing 12 posts - 1,837 through 1,848 (of 1,906 total)
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  • #963231 Reply
    avatarCopa
    Participant

    I also went to one get together where I felt misled once I arrived. A friend moved in with her boyfriend in June and last month they had a housewarming party. I was told it was going to be very small and out on the deck, so we agreed to go. It was NOT small for a COVID get together (~20 people). They had the door to the back open to circulate air, but their deck can’t accommodate that many people and most people opted to be inside in any case. My boyfriend and I did stay for a bit, and we did make a point to be outside, but I felt shitty about the whole thing. My friend was surprised when we left pretty early.

    My boyfriend and I definitely need to talk about the holidays this year. We’ve already decided to do a low-key Thanksgiving at our place this year. I’ve invited my sister, who is still figuring out what she’ll do, and it’s likely he’ll invite his single friend whose family is on the west coast. I’d be okay with the four of us indoors, though we’re looking for ways to make our outdoor space an okay hangout for colder weather at the moment. I’m more worried about Christmas. My family is not nearby so there won’t be any pressure to travel unless I want to (and I really don’t), but I can see pressure coming from his family. I’d probably be okay with a nuclear family only celebration with his family, rather than the huge family get together I’ve gone to with him the past two years, but knowing his mom and stepdad are doing whatever makes me wary even of something small. So, we’ll see.

    #963232 Reply
    avatarCopa
    Participant

    @ktfran If you find any great winter gear for Chicago temps, don’t hesitate to share on this site! Ha!

    #963233 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Yeah, but people will. And they’ll call these get-togethers “calculated risks” and we’ll all be screwed come January (and earlier). Since people are going to gather anyway, I hope people will at least reduce their exposure and risk by limiting sizes of these gatherings, travel, etc.

    We were just invited to A thanksgiving gathering with extended family that we’re going to have to skip, and even though I’d planned to spend the winter holidays with my parents for the first time in several years, we’re going to postpone that for another year. It’ll have been ten months since I last saw my Parents, 14 months since I saw my sister, and will likely be many more months before I see any of them again. 🙁

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by avatarDear Wendy.
    #963234 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    I agree it’s totally hypocritical, but I get it. We’re talking about 5-6 widows who live alone … my mom is the lucky one because I’ve been around to talk to every day. The others have not seen their kids or hugged their grandkids in months and they are lonely as hell. So they rely on their girlfriends to get them through the holidays. They are managing the best they can, they’ve moved their card games online. They have zoom chit chats. Hell my mom is on the phone with a friend right now who hasn’t seen her husband in an Alzheimer’s patient care center in months and he was just moved to a hospital as his body is shutting down and she can’t go visit him.

    Nonetheless, I don’t equate it with folks who’ve had house parties, weddings or go to crowded bars where no one is wearing a mask and you don’t really know who is in the room, where they’ve been and who’ve they’ve been with.

    Still, when watching the news I just mutter “Yeah, we’re all going to die.”

    #963235 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    @Leslie, there’s definitely a difference in risks people are taking, and when I get letters from people discussing how they met up with friends for dinner three times last week, went to two parties over the weekend and are now mad because they weren’t invited to another party this coming weekend, I don’t feel bad about being sanctimonious and judgmental towards them and their selfish and reckless behavior. My parents have barely left their house for over seven months and my 5-year-old is doing kindergarten over zoom this year, so cry me a river.

    #963237 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    I’m going by reviews from people skiing / live places where winter sports are big. I want warm, but not bulky. I walk ridiculously fast so I also need something where I won’t be drenched with sweat in five blocks. The Patagonia Nano Puff with a hood is on sale right now. $100 off. I ordered that yesterday. We’ll see what else I come up with in the next couple of weeks. Now I’m on the hunt for boots that are good for long walks / have mobility.

    For those of you who are staying home for Thanksgiving and don’t want to try cooking a turkey… last year the husband and I ordered from Whole Foods and it was surprisingly cheap. And delicious! We had his parents over. We ordered the meal kit for 4 plus a pie. It came out to about $25/person + we had leftovers.

    #963238 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I feel like kindergartners, moms, and people in nursing homes are having the worst time.

    Moms are really fucked. Like one in four are thinking about leaving the workforce. And right now only 55% of women are IN the workforce. Men think they’re sharing the household burden, but women don’t agree.

    #963239 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Last spring we went in a store and tried on the Canada Goose jackets, and goddamn. I sort of get the hype. It made my husband look like a fashion model. And it felt so good. The price tag is absurd, but.

    Also, Ugg boots, of all types. I’m sorry, but they are just so comfortable and lightweight. I have white snow boots, the short brown classic boots, a Moto boot that’s waterproof, and slippers! I used to hate the idea of Ugg’s but I’m a convert. I like my fleece lined timberlands too.

    #963240 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    I was just talking with my therapist about this last week. So, we have a school-wide communications platform/ message board where people have been pretty active in advocating for the kids, asking questions, sharing info. etc. (basically, a lot of emotional/mental labor). You can see who reads your messages, and since I’ve posted a lot, I’ve have particular insight in who is actively engaging in this platform and is it 90% moms. Anyway, I mentioned this to my therapist and how moms are doing so much more emotional labor right now (and, let’s face it, always) and she said, “It’s not even 11 am and you’re the third woman I’ve had this discussion with.”

    That said, I need to say that Drew is an outlier. He is the breadwinner in our family but he still very much shares the load in childcare, and domestic stuff. He even went so far as to get a different freelance gig that allows for flexible hours so he can be more available during school hours to help with homeschooling our kids. I know I’m really, really lucky, and it’s still so hard.

    #963241 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    My normal hiking boots are Timberlands and I love them. I owned one pair in my early 20s, which I ended up losing in my last move. I bought a new pair last January. I’ll check out Ugg. I’m not sold on Sorel.

    #963244 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I’ve had Sorel snow boots and they are warm as hell, but heavy!

    #963247 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    @Wendy, there is a percentage of women who agree the HH labor is shared, but there’s a big disconnect between how many women say that vs. men. I’ve been looking at a lot of stats on women in the pandemic for work. It’s pretty bad. It’s rarely the man who thinks about stepping away from work or taking a less demanding job.

    And because we’re an investment company, we’re looking at it also from the angle of the financial impact to a woman’s retirement savings if she even takes a year off from work.

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