Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Covid Support Thread

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  • #1000486 Reply

    So after last week’s “is this COVID or is this any other seasonal ailment?” drama, my boyfriend’s company gave his department the go-ahead to schedule their vaccines. (He works for a hospital system.) He gets his first shot at noon today! Nothing will change for awhile, but I’m excited anyway. It makes the idea that things might start getting better later this year feel real.

    #1000533 Reply

    That’s so great, @Copa! My MIL got her first shot last week. My mom might be able to get hers by the end of the month. I might be able to get mine in February! I’m extra paranoid about exposure now because the numbers are sky high everywhere and we’re so close. My friend’s dad is an ER physician and got his first shot right after Christmas. He started not feeling well but they just thought it was side effects. A week later he still didn’t feel well, and insisted on a covid test – it was positive. He probably contracted it a day or two before he got his first vaccine dose. He’s doing all right and her mom hasn’t gotten sick, thank goodness! He was the last one of the ER docs at his hospital to have covid – ALL of the others have had it already.

    I have 3 friends/family members trying to plan weddings for this fall…I know they’re keeping their plans flexible – two of these are postponements from last summer – because there is so much uncertainty. I’m really hoping it’s safe to attend a wedding by then, but my kiddo will almost certainly not be vaccinated yet, so I just don’t know. Trying to focus on getting through each week and not worry too much about the latter half of 2021!

    #1000561 Reply

    That’s amazing Copa!

    Sorry to hear about your friend’s dad, Vathena.

    The numbers are not good where I am. I am hopeful with the vaccination but it’s going to be a rough couple of months.

    #1000721 Reply

    I love hearing about people getting vaccinated. There is an end in sight! Even though all the hospitals around me are on diversion, I’m hopeful for the future. It helps that GA flipped blue (you’re welcome)

    #1000732 Reply

    My sis got her first vaccination shot! She works at a medical center in our hometown. Actually, all people I know in the medical industry that are associated w/ a hospital have had their first shot.

    #1006220 Reply

    A teacher friend of mine sent me this article and some of you with children (or even without) may find this interesting: https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/new-study-explores-risk-played-by-children-in-covid-spread-a-b0a90b6f-1d21-41e8-a2d0-13751aa3ce09?utm_term=OZY&utm_campaign=pdb&utm_content=Saturday_01.16.21&utm_source=Campaigner&utm_medium=email. An Austrian study about COVID in school children has some not-too-surprising findings. Like that we need to lay to rest the myth that children are immune to/not spreading COVID and that schools are contributing significantly to community transmission.

    ETA: The friend who sent it to me is a teacher in Chicago, where some teachers did not report back to school for in-person teaching due to safety concerns. They were then locked out of their remote teaching accounts and having their pay docked. In one instance, a teacher decided to stay remote (didn’t have any students sign up for in-person learning) and was still locked out of her remote teaching account, just for a sub to be hired (who then taught the class remote…). Anyway, this is all a huge mess here.

    #1006296 Reply

    Just because you cannot avoid a finite amount of exposure, call it X, doesn’t make it responsible to write off the value of your prior precautions and decide that, what the hell, I’ll just go back to my normal life and the larger 3X exposure. Restaurants have been shown to be spreader locations for indoor dining. On the other hand, since you’ve recovered from a bad case of Covid, you may be largely immune. Have you spoken to your doctor about this?

    What precautions does your husband take? Does he give in to peer pressure and not mask? Does he feel he won’t be able to sell successfully in the South as a rebel masker? Does he need to self-quarantine for protection of your family after trips to jails and crowded conventions?

    #1006298 Reply

    My bad! That was a response to a several pages ago post by Helen.

    #1007077 Reply

    Couple things:

    -This past week I performed in a show in a bar/restaurant. I had thought it was going to be outside but it wasn’t. (They had a covered patio but weren’t using it when I got there.) My boyfriend came with me to support me. They took temps at the door, I wore my mask except when performing or drinking my cocktail and my boyfriend made me use hand sanitizer a bazillion times. I have to be honest, it was wonderful. I have felt like TOTAL SHIT for the past few weeks. The holidays were so fucking hard. I’ve gained 15lbs. I sleep through most days, getting up for meetings and doing work I have to. The ability to put on a cute outfit, a full face of makeup, spend time with my boyfriend outside of my house, PERFORM COMEDY…it was freaking life-giving. We got a couple pictures together for the first fucking time since last March. I was so happy.

    …and then I posted the pictures on FB and Insta saying that it gave me hope for the future, and one of my closest friends/fellow comics unfriended me. For doing that one show.

    I’m not trying to get attention from this, but I was legit suicidal on Christmas. I have been doing incredibly poorly. Right now I’m up at 4am when I should be sleeping. Just performing this week and being able to be in my real clothes and with my bf out of the house was incredible. And now my friend has unfriended me. I’m…IDK. Mad? Heartbroken? Guilty? It’s my fucking life, and I’ve been so fucking safe this whole time. My boyfriend and family did NOT see each other. We’ve been so very careful. I don’t leave the house on weekends because of how busy it gets in grocery stores. I’m really sad.

    -My best friend’s twin sister is getting married on March 13, at some plantation-turned-wedding-venue in NC. March 13. Fuck. IDK what to do. They want RSVPs by Feb 19. Ironically, I have a ton of PTO that I have to take by March 15 and I was planning to go across the state to the mountains with my boyfriend and have a little retreat, just us. But now there’s this, and I really just don’t know what I should even do.

    That is all. Gonna try to get some sleep; lots to do tomorrow since oh yeah, I slept all day today since I’m chronically depressed because of this fucking pandemic.

    #1007201 Reply

    @TheLadyE, do you know when you can get the vaccine? The rollout is incredibly slow, but I think it’s now anyone 65+ OR with an underlying condition, at least in my state? Have you called your doctor and asked about when and how you can get it?

    It seems like your mental health struggles are making you kind of swing between extremes of safety and danger, where you’re either completely isolated at home in bed or you’re doing something high-risk like having family over, going to an indoor restaurant, or thinking about going to a wedding.

    Absolutely no on the wedding. Send your regrets. Find out when you can get the vaccine. Get it. No more standup comedy, socializing indoors, or seeing people outside your bubble until you’re immunized. I definitely understand how depressing this is, but there’s an end in sight.

    I don’t know what to say about your friend unfriending you. That seems harsh. But everyone is on edge right now, and I do judge people I see doing high-risk things and posting pictures.

    #1007231 Reply
    Dear Wendy

    Agree with Kate here. I think your mental health needs immediate attention and that’s understandable. A lot of us have been really struggling (myself included). But the issue is clouding your judgment. Being inside a bar right now is not safe, performing indoors is not safe, having family travel to see you is not safe, going to a wedding is absolutely not safe. And it’s not that it’s not just safe for YOU; it’s not safe for anyone who isn’t vaccinated.

    While I do think it was harsh of your friend to unfriend you over your pictures, I do understand her frustration. When you say “it’s MY life,” that’s only partly true. It’s all of our lives. The behavior of others is and has affected all of us. I get annoyed when I see photos of people doing things I am currently sacrificing for my well-being but also for the good of everyone. I haven’t unfriended anyone I’m close to but I’ve unfriended acquaintances. Like Kate said, we’re all on edge. It’s not just you. This is very hard for all of us. Is it harder for you? Well, you’re immunocompromised and you live alone, so it’s probably very scary AND even more isolating than those of us who live with others (Which, to be honest, can be its own hell sometimes…), so your feelings are 100% understandable and valid. But when the feelings are clouding your judgment, tempting you to engage in reckless behavior, or making it hard for you to get out of bed, it’s probably time to get some help dealing with them. Are you currently in therapy? I can’t remember. If so, talk to your therapist or healthcare provider to see if they recommend a short-term Rx of something or some other treatment to keep you stable in these final weeks before you get your vaccine.

    Also for what it’s worth, a former (maybe current? haven’t seen her post in a long time) DW reader is now fully vaccinated and she told me that she’s still not going to her sibling’s wedding in a couple months. Why? Well, probably because she doesn’t want to support such a reckless decision to hold a wedding right now but also because we don’t know yet whether the vaccine stops transmission of the virus in addition to dramatically reducing illness and death from it. Just something else to keep in mind for when you do get vaccinated. You’ll be much, much safer, but you could still pose a risk to others. Anyway, I share this because again, this is someone fully vaccinating not going to a sibling’s wedding. You should not, as an immunocompromised unvaccinated person even entertain the idea of going to a friend’s sibling’s wedding right now.

    You might want to get a covid test this week, too.

    #1007242 Reply

    Yeah, good point, it would be smart to go get a test. Unless you’re 100% not going out anywhere (truly quarantining).

    This is freaking serious, though. Lots of people are getting it now, I think largely because it’s become much more contagious. Also because tons of people got together over the holidays. Just in my 8-person team at work, two people had family members die, two currently have COVID, my boss’s son had it 2 weeks ago but thankfully everyone was ok, another person’s whole family now has it, including her 78-y/o parents… it’s accelerated like crazy.

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