Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread

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  • #1007254 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Yeah, this is an especially dangerous time because states are relaxing mitigation (opening schools, opening up more for indoor dining, etc) at the same time that transmission is picking up, a new much more contagious variant is spreading in the US (and projected to be the main strain by march), and when covid fatigue is at an all-time high (understandable after TEN FUCKING MONTHS OF THIS SHIT) and people are letting their guards down. This is not the time to let guards down. This is the time to double down on precautions and summon all the reserves, support, whatever you need to bear down and get through these remaining few months.

    My prediction is it’s going to get worse before it gets better. How worse and for how long will depend on people’s behavior and how quickly the new administration can get the vaccine out. Hopefully, we’re just looking at an awful February and then maybe by early or mid-march we start seeing the effects of mass vaccination in quickly lowering case numbers, hospitalizations, and deaths. We are already seeing a slight dip in hospitalizations in the past few days, but I suspect that’s only temporary and we’ll see a huge surge in coming weeks as that new variant takes hold.

    Hang in there, everyone. As the saying goes, it’s always darkest before the dawn. But dawn is coming!! It’s not far off now.

    #1007294 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time LadyE.

    I am going to tell you where I think you went wrong, and that’s posting on social media. Especially since you were so angry at one of your close friends for engaging in high risk behaviors. It seems hypocritical, no? So if are going to do something, don’t post about it. Truly. Also, if you need to do something, do something less risky, like the weekend getaway with your boyfriend. NOT the wedding.

    I’m sorry you’re hurting. The end is near.

    My doctor/pharmacist friends have been fully vaccinated (both shots) and they’re still being just as cautious now as they were a couple of months ago. 1. Because you can still transmit to others. And 2. They have children. And 3. They care about others health. Actually, since the husband is an emergency room doctor, he has slept in a separate bedroom since last March. She said they’ll begin sharing a bed again next week since she got her secco done shot a few days ago. He’s had his for a couple weeks.

    FWIW, last fall I said the husband and I were going to rent a house for a month somewhere warm in February because I hate February here. We’re no longer doing that. We’re waiting it out.

    #1007300 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Also, Facebook is so bad and dangerous for so many reasons (got Trump elected, responsible for Capitol insurrection, Zuck will burn in hell), and one major reason is it makes you feel sorry for yourself. I deleted my account in 2016 but my husband has it, and it gets him into this very pissed-off mindset where it’s like, everyone but him is flying around the world sightseeing in Europe or drinking on a beach in Hawaii. You start to feel like you should be able to do what you want because everyone else is. But everyone else is being a stupid douche and doing things that will get their parents and grandparents killed.

    I’m on Instagram and I don’t follow anyone. I have like 70 followers, and they’re all people I know and not morons. But I still see some stupid shit on there, people posting maskless social pics, etc. Yes, I know Zuck owns Instagram too, but I find it the most manageable and controllable way to keep up with what people are doing without being exposed to too much stupid shit.

    Anyway, pay attention to how social media is affecting your mental health.

    #1007361 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    Yeah, despite having been sick and having antibodies,* we’re not varying our protective measures with the significant exception of sending the Spawn of Fyodor back to in person school and only because we decided it was compellingly important.

    First, we don’t know if we can spread it to others. Second, there is *so* much circulating virus now that any protective measures would be partially overcome by the effects of the huge amount of virus out there. If a vaccine reduces your chances of getting sick by 95 percent, but there’s eight times as much circulating virus, it’s more like an 60 percent reduction as compared to the summer.

    There’s just so much circulating virus now that even things that might have been comparatively safe over the summer that are much more dangerous today.

    *I’ve been collecting research on the relative protective effects of antibodies if anyone else who has been sick wants to see it.

    #1007373 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    I have to unfollow anyone who is posting social media pictures of dangerous activities. I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to see it.

    #1007481 Reply
    avatarTheLadyE
    Guest

    Ktfran, you’re right – it was stupid of me to post on social media. I was honestly just so happy for one evening of somewhat normalcy. Ironically, many of my other friends were super happy for me.

    Wendy, I am in regular therapy (have been for 3 years) and take an antidepressant. I don’t really want to up the dose because my doctor says it’ll mainly just cause more side effects at this point. I knew the holidays would be bad – hell, they’re often hard for me in “normal” years. It just got really, really hard not seeing my family and being alone.

    I’m pretty sad my friend just unfriended me without talking to me or anything. She knows I’m high risk and knows how careful I’m being. This is someone I’ve been VERY close with in the last year since my little girl died. Really upsetting. I’d like to think she would given me the benefit of the doubt. She could have just unfollowed me or snoozed me, but nope.

    As far as the vaccine goes, I’ll be eligible in the next stage after essential workers and elderly people. I called my pulmonologist’s office but they were totally unhelpful. It seems like I have to wait until I can sign up myself rather than being “invited” like healthcare/essential workers are now. I can definitely get it sooner than the general population but unfortunately not, like, tomorrow.

    My sister got it because she works at Boston Children’s.

    Yeah, it looks like I’m going to have to decline the wedding invite. I’m surprised they are even still doing it because her parents are elderly and her mom especially has very poor health. The husband (they’re actually already legally married, went to city hall last year) is…well let’s just say our views on the virus differ. He hates wearing masks and shares stupid, false info on FB. It’s annoying. My boyfriend doesn’t want to go anyway so I guess this is an easy out.

    That show was the only “risky” thing I’ve done since my birthday when I ate indoors at a restaurant. I’ve done other shows but they were outside. It’s just too cold now. Maybe I’ll get a test this week. I’ve had zero symptoms though, and I think the CDC says they often show up within 3-5 days, right? (I know, I can be asymptomatic too, but that would be the universe’s greatest irony with my lung problems.)

    Thanks for being supportive, everyone. I hope we are coming to the light at the end of this tunnel soon.

    #1007501 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Sorry, but anyone throwing a sizable wedding right now sucks. Anyone doing so at a PLANTATION? You didn’t need to tell me the guy is an anti-masker, I already knew. No one who thinks Black Lives Matter is getting married at a plantation.

    Can you at all try to get back to a routine? Regular bedtime, regular wake up time, start the day with a smoothie and vitamins, do some movement (walk, yoga app, body weight exercise), meditation, and money management? The more you avoid that stuff the worse you’ll feel.

    #1007507 Reply
    avatarTheLadyE
    Guest

    Ironically they booked this place during the height of the BLM protests and I took issue with her about it. Apparently she researched it a ton and asked several of her black friends and coworkers about it specifically; I don’t remember why it passed the sniff test but they all said they would still have it there. IDK. My best friend and her sister are two of the smartest people I know. I would never in a million years marry this guy, but she seems to love him. He has some good qualities but he needs to quit with the fucking stupid right-leaning posts on FB, especially about the virus.

    I did buy myself a new smoothie blender (BlendJet) and a small elliptical this weekend. I am leading a big project at work and I need to not be so depressed right now. Hopefully necessity will help; and also, I feel sluggish and uncomfortable and need to get this weight off. I got up before noon today which was an accomplishment in and of itself, so…good job me.

    #1007511 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Also, maybe for your friend’s own mental health she needs to distance herself from anyone doing things she considers dumb and dangerous. Everyone is struggling right now in some way.

    #1007515 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Jesus. Christ. She’s an asshole, sorry. Asking your black friends for permission to do something incredibly insensitive is pretty much the epitome of white entitlement. It’s not their fucking responsibility to explain to her why she’s being a stupid bitch and ask her to change her venue. It’s her responsibility to fucking get it. If she cares, which apparently she doesn’t since she’s marrying this guy.

    #1007546 Reply
    avatarTheLadyE
    Guest

    I feel bad now for not remembering why she went ahead with it. I couldn’t really even believe it when she told me. There was a reason, though, that she thought it would be ok and I don’t want to be unfair.

    However, March is just too early.

    Although honestly almost everyone has done things I wouldn’t have in this pandemic. Another friend of mine went to 2 weddings in her hometown this fall (rural NC) where the virus has been spreading like crazy. She said no one was wearing masks at either wedding. My own mother has sung solos/duets in church as late as last week. I told her I don’t want to hear any admonishment of me doing anything. She insists she’s being safe.

    #1007651 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Well anyway, I’m not saying my mental health is 💯, and a lot of the time I want to kill people, but what keeps me from getting into really bad shape is sticking to a routine, sleeping 7-8 hours at night, doing a 25-minute home workout 5x a week, drinking fruit, writing everything down in my planner, and did I mention sleeping.

    I also wear jeans every damn day so I can keep a handle on my body. And I wash and style my hair once or twice a week and wear light makeup every day to feel human. I just like to. But for people who don’t, now’s a great time to, idk, get some nice loungewear, take great care of your skin, deep condition your hair and let it go natural, wear comfy slippers, be cozy.

    Oh and I need to get better during the week about this, but taking a 15-minute walk in the sun is important.

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