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Dear Wendy

Baby shower Question

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  • #847457 Reply

    My stepmoms son has a friend/girlfriend that is expecting twins. I was told both babies were boys but there was one baby they were having trouble confirming, so it might be a girl. She is due this August. I was invited to the shower but declining since its on my birthday and not going to make the 4hr drive for someone I dont know at all. I dont have a relationship with my step siblings at all. I have bought a gift and since I am down visiting my sister I will leave it for her to give to my stepmom. I dont know the girl that is pregnant and (here’s the kicker) they dont know if the babies are my step brothers babies. There’s a chance these babies are not his. My stepmom is beyound excited in ways I would like to knock some sense in her. The girls family has been very low key about the situation because she is 17yrs old. I advised my stepmom to do the non invasive DNA tasting before getting all excited but they have refused. The girl has acknowledge mulitple sex partners around the time she found out she was pregnant. Heres my dilemma, I dont know what to put in the card. I know the girls name and the names of the babies. I dont know if the babies are for fact boys or girls and if my stepbrother is the father. Any creative suggestions would be great?

    #847460 Reply

    Write “Congratulations!”
    And sign the card.
    None of the other stuff matters.

    #847461 Reply

    Really? Congratulations on your twin babies!

    Why is it relevant who the bio dad is or the gender of the babies?

    #847467 Reply

    “Congrats! Send pictures!”

    You don’t need to write anything clever. You can also do the Jewish thing and wait until the babies are born before celebrating (as one of the resident tribe members, I give you permission).

    #847468 Reply
    Dear WendyDear Wendy

    “Congratulations and best wishes to you and your family!” Who cares about the rest of the stuff – totally irrelevant when it comes to writing a card.

    #847471 Reply

    From a tactical perspective I’m sure they make cards that aren’t “baby boy” or “baby girl,” but just “baby” or “twins.” Pick one like that and write what Wendy said.

    #847473 Reply

    “Congratulations on your twins. I hope that gender and paternity questions resolve in a way that is satisfactory to all involved.”

    #847477 Reply

    They make lots of new-baby cards that don’t mention the gender. Not everyone knows or wants to know their baby’s gender before it’s born.

    But I’m not sure there’s any way to creatively (or politely) mention that they’re not sure who the father is. In a card, no less.

    #847487 Reply

    Damn. I get it, it’s tempting to be publicly condescending and judgey while pretending to be nice… Why not reveal yourself and be honest.
    “Here’s a gift card, slut. I so, so hope the father is not my stepbrother who I don’t give a damn about anyway. PS – please tell my step mom I think she’s a fucking idiot.”
    Too much? Okay, then. As EVERYBOFY else suggested. There is always the safe and bland and tepid “CONGRATULATIONS!!”
    Look, I get it. Forget Babyshower, there should have been an Abortion Gala. But… people are allowed to make DUMB choices. Just look around. People make dumb choices every day.

    #847493 Reply

    It’s obvious you’re only giving a gift to placate your stepmother. You don’t even refer to the (potential) father as your step-brother, but as your stepmother’s son.

    So, if this is only to appease her, take her cue. If she’s happy about it, you’re happy about it. Doesn’t matter what gender the kids are, doesn’t matter what DNA the kids have.

    Since Hallmark won’t take my suggestion and start producing “Just Fulfilling my Social Obligation” cards, you’ll have to pick a generic “Congratulations” one and go with that.

    #847495 Reply

    I would 100% buy that card.

    #847499 Reply

    My gosh. They are babies. Who cares who the father is, let them sort it out, and then let them deal with it. Sounds like these kids need any help they can get. A gift card should be given with kindness, if not, do not bother.

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