- July 9, 2019 at 2:27 pm #847546
Sorry to hear about your miscarriage, SpaceySteph.July 9, 2019 at 2:44 pm #847552
So sorry you’ve gone through that, SS.July 9, 2019 at 2:53 pm #847558
So sorry SpaceySteph!
As an aside to the LW, why does it matter if the gender for one ends up being a girl? They gave you the names which means you can use them in the card. They’re not going to keep your card after the baby shower. It won’t be around once the baby’s born for them to go “oooh Poppy used boy name we gave her but turned out baby’s a girl. Poppy’s the worst!” That’s not going to happen.July 9, 2019 at 3:15 pm #847563
SS I am very sorry you had to go through with that
A good reason not to share names is that people will have all sorts of unsolicited opinions on the name and it’s better to wait until it’s a fait accompli before telling anyone.July 9, 2019 at 8:54 pm #847594
^^^ I know that IS exactly why my sister wisely was quite vague about names…July 10, 2019 at 6:09 am #847621
BoF* and I are both lawyers and SoF’s** name was the result of a three month negotiation. If you looked at the Venn diagram of names she liked and I Iiked it would literally have been hundreds of names in our individual circles with a tiny overlap that included SoF’s name and like one other. There was no way we were going to let the process be mucked up by input from the all the oafs in the peanut gallery.
BoF=Bride of Fyodor
SoF=Spawn of FyodorJuly 10, 2019 at 6:16 am #847622
I’ve never known anyone who didn’t keep their considered or favored baby names top secret until after the birth. There are soooo many good reasons to keep that information to yourselves.July 10, 2019 at 7:16 am #847626
Sorry about the miscarriage, SS, and I hope a full-term pregnancy and healthy second baby are in your near future!July 10, 2019 at 10:12 am #847646
Thanks everyone! I’ll be ok and hopefully #2 will be along when the time is right.
As for names, I think once there’s a baby with the name and its too late to easily change it, people are more likely to keep to themselves if they hate it (not 100%, there’s always some rude aunt who has no filter) vs if you tell people before its settled. I mean I definitely have friends whose baby names I hate but its like.. oh well, thats the kids name.
We named my daughter after my grandmother and I told my sister we were thinking of that name if it was a girl and she was like “fight me!” and I said since I was 6 months pregnant, I was pretty much already winning. So guess who I won’t be telling anything to next time around.
Also I have a friend who is very mad that another mutual friend named her 7 year old a certain name that the friend wanted to name her child. Who is only 4. So like… first come, first served. So if you are dead set on a name, better not tell anyone who can steal it.July 10, 2019 at 10:56 am #847649
@spaceysteph, I’m sorry for your loss.
I think it’s fun to ask people for suggestions and to give them, but not to ask for anyone’s opinions about the names you are considering. But I think the more kids people have, the less they tend to care about what other people think about things. I think I may have influenced the name of my youngest nephew and I’m ridiculously happy about it for some weird reason.