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Dear Wendy

Bad time to announce pregnancy?

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar Oracle 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #802789 Reply
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    Megan A Anderson

    My husband and I found out that I’m pregnant Friday night (about three-four weeks along). Saturday morning, my husband’s grandmother had a stroke and has been in the hospital since. Today (Monday) we discovered that she is paralyzed from the waist down and cannot speak. It may be temporary, it may not be, too soon to tell.

    My husband wants to tell them that I’m pregnant. His thought is that it would be good news and we all need good news right now. My thought is that it is too early. Everybody still needs time to process what is going on with grandma and the focus needs to be on her. Plus I feel my husband’s mother has enough to deal with right now and shouldn’t have to have another thought in her head other than taking care of her mother.

    Thoughts?

    #802791 Reply
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    Ange

    Ehhhh yeah I’m kind of leaning towards it being too early. If something happens god forbid then that’s another sad moment on top of the current stress and as you said everyone has enough on their plate at the moment. It’s wonderful news certainly (and congratulations!) but I think just now it needs to be examined in the broader context.

    #802793 Reply
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    brise

    First of all, do as you feel. You are the first concerned. Don’t let yourself be pushed to something you are not ready to. Then, yes, I agree with you, it is way too early. Too many emotions at the same time, and too early anyway to make an announcement. The most careful people wait the 3-month milestone, which is reasonable. Give some time and when you feel ready, disclose it with your husband. Don’t let him say it before you feel it is the right time.

    #802803 Reply

    What you and everyone else said. It’s early, there’s a lot going on, and while truly it’s wonderful news (congratulations!) it has no bearing on the current situation. It’s not like pregnancy cures paralysis. Hopefully grandma recovers, fingers crossed for that and a happy healthy pregnancy for you.

    #802834 Reply
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    Sarah

    You might want to consider how upset mom and family are about grandma, and I know they are upset but my MIL gets so upset when her mother goes in the hospital (at 97 she is in once a year) that she is inconsolable and honestly nutty. My mom when my grandma was in the hospital the last few times before she died was calm and upset her mother was dying but not inconsolable. My mom knew time was coming where my MIL can’t fathom that her mother won’t be with us forever. I say this because if they are inconsolable or very upset you may want to wait because they will either obsess over it irrationally or if something happens it would be too much for them. I’m not saying don’t tell, just to take into account how they are handling the situation and make the choice based on what they can handle.

    #802837 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster
    #802961 Reply
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    Oracle

    Do not announce your pregnancy now. Too much going on. Your grandmother may not make it. Just because she survived this stroke does not mean another is not close behind.

    The first trimester of a pregnancy is when most miscarriages occur. Usually, the heart does not form correctly. If you miscarriage you may not want to be talking to people. And if you have to have a D & C you may not be feeling at all well. Just wait.

    #805413 Reply
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    Megan

    Thank you all. She passed a couple days later, so I am very relieved that we did not make the announcement.

    #805416 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Oh no. So sorry to hear that! But how wonderful you waited. Now when you do make the big announcement — I’m sure it will be a happy day for all. No rush. It’s still very early. Announce when You feel ready.

    #805428 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Thanks for checking back in and I’m sorry that your family has this sadness. As BGM said, you can now determine when you announce.

    #805442 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Sorry for your loss, and also glad you decided to wait to share your news. Let everyone process the death of this family matriarch, and in a few weeks, when your pregnancy is further along, everyone will welcome such happy news! Congrats, again, and best wishes for a smooth pregnancy.

    #805560 Reply
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    Oracle

    I’m sorry. Take care of yourself.

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