Being bad at video games is ruining my relationship
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I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a few years (both mid twenties). We met online through games, but have met up many times. We have been playing them since before we got together, and back then there were no issues.
Now, though I love video games very much, I have always been particularly bad at them. I didn’t get into games until I was a little older in my teens and even then it was single player games that were more about story than gameplay. On top of that, I just naturally find them very hard, I have bad coordination and slow reaction times in general. We’ve been playing over the years one main online game where we play on the same team and I suck almost as much when I started 4 years ago. I definitely have gotten better at some aspects but I am just nowhere near as good as her and others we play with (she has been playing this game a decade but is also naturally good at games and grew up around games since she was very young).
When we play together the skill difference is very noticeable and she becomes very frustrated with my actions while I play. I constantly make the wrong decisions which leads to death or our side losing, even years later. I make dumb decisions that don’t make sense, my reaction time is godawfully slow and I just don’t see things or remember things about the game I should definitely know by now. This has led to so many fights, deciding not to play together anymore and lots of crying on my part because I just can’t be good enough for her. It really sucks because we became so close by playing together and now we can’t even try out new games together a lot of the time because I am so bad that she has told me it frustrates her and she just wants to never play similar stuff together ever again.
It hurts because I want to be able to play stuff with the one I love but even putting in extra hours playing, researching, reading, watching videos and trying so fucking hard hasn’t made me much better, and even if it has, it’s nowhere near good enough for her to be able to play with. I feel so stupid and pathetic that I am SO bad we can’t enjoy a part of our relationship together
Being in your mid-twenties you (and your gf) should know that there is a lot more to life than video games. I don’t know why you’d consider yourself ‘prettyworthless’ just because you stink at this video game. Your gf is still with you, so you must be doing something right. Find what you are good at that you can do for fun. Introduce her to that. Perhaps the two of you can develop a new mutual hobby, or she could game while you do your new thing. Or, if you enjoy gaming, you could become more comfortable with losing, which you say is the inevitable result when you game.
I don’t mind losing, she just hates it and I hate that she gets angry at me. Also, we’ve actually gone to breakup, a conversation that stemmed from a fight about this. I don’t feel worthless because of just the video game, it’s several things together
You may just be incompatible. If losing a video game results in anger and threats to break up, you either need to quit playing video games together and go out into the real world and see how you get along or, if that’s not an option, break up. There’s nothing wrong with being bad at video games/sport/whatever your significant other is fabulous at. The problem is when it overwhelms your relationship.
You realize how stupid it is that the basis of whether she is happy with you or not is your performance on games online, right?
Please, put down the controller and take a shower/go for an swim and get dressed and go outside. There is so much more out there than what this girl thinks is cool. Make some IRL friends who value you for you, and enjoy that. This girl sounds like a boring dud, quite honestly.
