Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Bizarre Ex

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Bizarre Ex

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 13 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #902278 Reply
    avatarBlueskies
    Guest

    I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this or have any tips on how to deal with this kind of thing? Husbands ex has been displaying really bizarre behavior for some time now, I have mostly ignored it but it has become creepy at this point. Husband’s exgirlfriend copies everything that I do! If I change my hair she changes hers to a similar style, If I buy a new piece of furniture and the kids report back to her what I bought she goes out and buys a similar or the same thing. Even when I returned back to school she found out and decided to go back to school for the same thing! Then she’ll find a way to tell my husband, “Look! Me too!”. She’ll take a picture of one of the kids and then angle the picture just right to show she bought a similar or the same thing. She’ll send text describing to my husband what she’s going to get, buy, or do. My husband has let her know that it’s very disrespectful for her to think she can randomly send him messages telling him about her personal life that does not pertain to their children. My youngest stepson recently slipped up and let us know that his mom has been going to my husbands Facebook page and taking screen shots of our pictures together. I’ve never seen such a competitive spirit in my life! I know it’s probably more annoying than anything insidious but I find it extremely weird! Like I said, I’ve ignored it for the most part and have never indicated to her or even my husband that it’s aggravating. I’ve just chalked it up to childish behavior on her part. But I was just curious if anyone else has experienced this strange behavior before?

    #902283 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    You need to *really* ignore this. You need to not even be aware of what she’s doing. Take the steps you need to take so that you will not be aware. Where are you seeing these pics of her with your hairstyle or with an item she bought? If it’s on social media, don’t look at her stuff. Do not give any of your headspace to it.

    Instead of your husband saying, “this is disrespectful,” he needs to shut her down, meaning NO response to any messages that are not about co-parenting. No showing you her texts and pics. No discussion of this stupid nonsense.

    I mean, no, I’ve never really experienced anything like this, but I would not worry about it if I did. I’d just think it’s kind of sad and move on.

    #902289 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    It’s creepy and bizarre. BUT she is doing this to get a reaction out of you.

    Don’t give her one.

    Even if she brings it up to you in person in a way you can’t ignore — simply smile and say: “How nice! It is a fabulous __________.” Hairstyle, couch, or whathaveyou.

    #902316 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Cut off her source of information. Set your social media privacy settings to exclude her and limit what you post. Its a pretty easy problem to solve. There’s not much you can do to prevent the kids from telling her your business, asking them not to puts them in the middle of a problem that they shouldn’t have to worry about. If she still manages to copy you, tell her you’re so flattered she thinks so highly of you. Take it as a compliment and watch it go away

    #902331 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    With shared children, the information flow can’t really be stopped.

    The solution is to ignore.

    The reality is that she wants her ex back. She is mimicking you, assuming that is what your husband is interested in. I wouldn’t worry overly, they broke up for a reason and she can only copy the superficial things.

    #902351 Reply
    avatargolfer.gal
    Guest

    I agree with the others. Block or relegate her to “acquaintance” status on Facebook. There is no earthly reason she should be connected to you on social media. If you don’t want her to see what you’re doing, stop posting. It’s true you can’t stop the kids from talking to her about you, and you shouldn’t try. Don’t put them in the middle of this. Radio silence should be your response unless the communication is about the kids. Literally any other response, even a negative one, is positive attention to her. When she tells you in person about her new career/couch/whatever, a bemused “hmmm, good for you” along with looking distracted, checking your phone, a quick change of subject, or end of the conversation should take place. Do not give her any attention of any kind.

    #902438 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    Man this takes me back to the vintage gossip days when LeAnn Rimes spent literal years single white femaling her husband’s ex Brandi Glanville. Ah those were innocent times.

    Anyway my only advice is to ignore her and set up your social media so she can’t see your pics maybe.

    #902461 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    @Ange, remember when Brandi got a whole new vagina and charged it on her ex’s credit card? And vandalized his motorcycles in the garage. I had forgotten all about that.

    #902618 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    Those were the best celebrity gossip days

    #902840 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    Had a friend who went through this – except she was the Ex and the new girlfriend was trying to become wife #2. The girlfriend changed her hair, the way she dressed, the works – trying to become more like my friend. It didn’t work. Girlfriend never became Wife.

    Do your best to minimize information going out. But part of me thinks it would be hysterical if you could manipulate the situation a bit. I mean the most mature thing would be to ignore, but the petty and small side of me thinks you should post your new manicure with the butt-ugliest design possible. Or photoshop a disastrous haircut on you. Or “show off” your new purchase of dogs playing poker pictures. But that does seem like a lot more work.

    #903185 Reply
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    borrow a really hideous primrose yellow/cerise/vomit green wig, post it on facebook announcing you have dyed your hair . Oh I see Lisforleslie has suggested this tactic- still, worth it for the laugh.Had a partner’s ex who used to copy everything I did long ago, and when I sprayed my hair blue for a party, and it wouldn’t wash out, my hair was cowshit green–and she copied it. Annoyingly, it actually looked quite nice on her though. So pick a colour she won’t suit.

    #903376 Reply
    avatarBlueskies
    Guest

    Thanks for all the great advice! I’ve made sure to block her on all social media platforms. I’m hoping that’ll curb some of her behavior. The only other issue is that my husband can’t block his children on social media so the only thing I can think to do is tell him to minimize the amount of information he shares on his page. We thought we were doing a good thing by being direct with her about the inappropriate texts but it appears that negative attention is better than no attention. We’re definitely going to have to truly ignore her if it doesn’t pertain to the kids.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 13 total)
Reply To: Bizarre Ex
Your information: