Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Boy problems

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Boy problems

This topic contains 12 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by bittergaymark Bittergaymarkright 2 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 13 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #836563 Reply
    avatar
    Lily

    So basically this guy who I talked with a lot liked me in the beginning of the year, I made a mistake of getting people involved and they kept asking him if he liked me, my friends do not know how to talk to boys and come off as desperate so when they talked to him it was all their words. Now the boy and I don’t even talk anymore and I miss our friendship, he doesn’t like me anymore and calls me names sometimes… how do I get him to talk to me, and how do I fix things????

    #836564 Reply
    avatar
    Essie
    Participant

    You learned two important things here.

    1) Don’t involve your friends in your romances. That always ends in disaster. It’s insulting to him to have your friends grilling him about his personal feelings, and makes you look immature. If you want to know if a guy likes you, ask him yourself.

    2) The guy is a jerk if he’s calling you names because your friends were pestering him. People who call you names make bad friends and worse boyfriends.

    There’s nothing to fix here, because he’s not worth your time. Learn the lessons for next time. Sorry, I know it hurts, but it’s done.

    #836581 Reply

    You can’t get him to talk to you and be your friend again if that’s not what he wants. But he sounds like a jerk if he’s calling you names.

    If he was not being a jerk, you could apologize if given the chance to.

    Use this as a learning experience and don’t involve other people in your pursuit of romance. It’s very immature.

    #836584 Reply
    avatar
    ron

    I think overly harsh on the boy given that we don’t know what ‘names’ he called her and how awful her friends were. The problem seems mainly with the friends. Sort of ironic isn’t it that LW blames friends who ‘don’t know how to talk to boys’, when she doesn’t know how to or was afraid to talk to this guy. They all sound very young and I suspect the friends were more harassing than talking to this boy.

    #836587 Reply
    avatar
    Essie
    Participant

    Or teasing and embarrassing him.

    I’m sort of re-thinking my “jerk” comment, considering that everyone involved sounds really young, and as Ron said, we don’t know what the names were or what the friends said to him.

    LW, the root of the problem here is getting your friends involved. I guess you could try apologizing to him, but accept the possibility that having your friends talk to him turned him off permanently, and it’s a lost cause.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by avatar Essie.
    #836590 Reply
    avatar
    LisforLeslie

    Have you apologized? I mean, you don’t have to apologize for your friends, but it would be kind if you said “Hey, I know my friends are dorks and they might have backed you into a corner. I’m sorry that I got them involved and I’m sorry if they made you uncomfortable or embarrassed you.”

    He’ll probably wave it off but it would be super grown up to just acknowledge the problem and apologize for any discomfort.

    #836653 Reply
    avatar
    MP

    Oh god I’m having flashbacks to high school. Are you in high school? Actually that doesn’t matter. Don’t tell your friends about your crushes unless they’re truly truly best friends that you can trust with secrets. The rest of them just blab and ruin everything. Also he probably doesn’t wanna be friends anymore if he ignores you and calls you names…. I’d let it go. My only advice here is to make better friends and be careful who you vent to and confide in.

    #836714 Reply
    avatar
    Lily

    Thanks to everyone who helped me this was a learning experience and I’m glad I know what I did wrong, I am actually in 8th grade and wanted to learn from my experience. What I did was immature.

    #836715 Reply
    avatar
    Lily

    Thanks to everyone who helped me this was a learning experience and I’m glad I know what I did wrong, I am actually in 8th grade and wanted to learn from my experience. What I did was immature. I’ve been stressing too much when the answer was simple. There are still knots in my stomach from knowing that we won’t be friends anymore, but i gotta move on.

    #836717 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Whoa! Finally! A letter that is SO junior high from somebody who is actually IN junior high and not forty going on fourteen!!

    #837211 Reply
    Bon Vivant
    Bon Vivant
    Participant

    @BGM exactly, except this LW actually listened to the advice.

    @lily, please don’t beat yourself up about this. You are at a point in life where things can be really awkward. We’ve all done and said things that were dumb or embarrassing. The best thing to do is learn from this (which you have already acknowledged), forget it happened and move on with confidence. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, others probably won’t either. Hopefully they will be too concerned with their own embarrassing situations… And don’t dwell on the notion that you “won’t’ be friends anymore.” By giving some space, being confident and pleasant you’re demonstrating maturity and class which are appealing and will go a long way to helping things work themselves out.
    Side note: 8th grade (for me, at least) was the WORST. It will only get better!

    #837227 Reply
    avatar
    Lily

    Thank you! It means a lot… I’ve been stressing over it too much I’ll try to move on with confidence

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 13 total)
Reply To: Boy problems
Your information: