Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › Boyfriend freaked and cursed me out over something stupid. I am worried now.
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Phoebe.
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Sarah104
GuestHi so my bf (a 23 year old man) and me (a 22 year old woman) went on a date this past weekend. We took a day trip into the city to shop around and try some restaurants. My bf told me he had a surprise for us so I was excited to find out what it was. The day was going great and it seemed we were both having a great time. As we were walking to his surprise plan we arrived at an ice skating rink in the park. I thought that was a great idea and would be fun. I asked them if he knew if they sold any socks to wear as I didn’t have any on. He looked down at my feet and back at me and said “why the fuck wouldn’t you have socks on.” In his defense I was wearing AF1s and I do usually wear no show socks but that day I didn’t have any clean ones so I wore them barefoot. I explained that to him and he told me I was disgusting. I couldn’t believe how angry he got. I told him we can just go home if he wants now and he said no I already paid for it let’s go. So we went up to the counter to rent the skates and the worker told me they don’t sell any socks to wear. I could see my boyfriend getting angry at me again so I quickly said thanks and grabbed the skates. We went to go sit down to put them on and he asked me so what are you going to do. I told him I really don’t mind wearing the skates barefoot and that I’ll wash my feet when I get home. He said well that’s your choice but I think you’re really disgusting for going without socks in the first place. At that point I was very upset with him. We skated for about 20 minutes then left. He kept making rude comments on the way home. I don’t know if I feel comfortable being with him if he’s going to act like that. Any suggestions on how we continue?
Kate
KeymasterUm, this is really bad and you should probably just dump him.
Look, if you want to bring someone on a date that would require socks, then freaking make sure they have socks! A no-show sock isn’t really appropriate for ice skating, so if that’s what he thought you’d wear, then he should have either told you to wear warm, high socks or he should have brough a damn pair of socks for you. He handled this badly and then got angry, disrespectful, and extremely extremely rude. That’s a huge red flag. He did not need to react that way. He could also have said wait here, I’ll go over to Walgreens and buy you some socks. To be rude and curse you out and make the whole thing your problem instead of bad planning on his part is a really bad sign. I’d get out now.
KeymasterI think you should straight up say to him that you want to talk about what happened the other day. You were happy and excited that he planned a surprise, and would have had a lot of fun ice skating with him, but his reaction to you not wearing socks really threw you. Swearing at you, calling you disgusting, and throwing a fit we’re not an acceptable way to handle the situation. You do not want to be in a relationship where you are treated like that, not ever, and so you have realized that you need to move on.
ron
GuestNot wearing socks is really not unusual.
Since her question was “Any suggestions on how we continue?” she’s not going to MOA. That’s a mistake. She should MOA. There is something wrong with this guy.
KeymasterYeah, something’s wrong with him. Definitely anger issues, who knows what else. If he’s acting like this now and you put up with it, it’s going to keep getting worse. You need to move on.
Anonymousse
GuestI would do as Don and Kate suggested and dump the mean guy who berates you on dates. A nice guy would just be like okay, let’s do something else. It wouldn’t be a big deal.
I say go date a nicer man.
GuestRon* I am so sorry.
Dear WendyKeymasterThis guys a dick. Cut your losses and move on. His reaction was completely out of the ordinary and incredibly nasty and rude. I wear shoes without socks all the time. It’s normal. Your boyfriends response is not. He’s hot issues and there’s no reason they need to be yours. A loving partner – hell, even a halfway decent stranger – would not behave the way he did.
bloodymediocrity
ParticipantIt’s not clear how long you’ve been dating this guy, but considering your age it can’t be that long.
He treated you in a way that is totally unacceptable. Imagine if he talked this way to a co-worker or a supervisor. He would be fired. Why is it ok to talk to you this way but not his peers?
Unless there are some extreme extenuating circumstances and this is really uncharacteristic of him (for example, did a parent die recently and he’s under a great deal of stress and not his best self), break up with him.
ParticipantIf you really do want to find a way to move forward – you MUST stand your ground and let him know the way he acted is absolutely, 100 percent unacceptable. No making excuses for him like “In his defense I was wearing AF1s…”. It doesn’t matter if you wear socks 364 days a year and just didn’t this day. The way he responded is entirely unacceptable. They are your goddamn feet and you are allowed to do what you please with them.
CopaParticipantAgreed that this is unacceptable and a major red flag and that cutting your losses would be for the best. Chiming in to say that if this is how the guy reacts over you not wearing socks, I’d hate to see how he reacts to something actually worth reacting over. Yikes.
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This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by
Copa.
Hazel
ParticipantYe gods, your poor feet must have hurt so badly in those hire skates without socks.Unless he has now seen the light and really sincerely apologised, and gets therapy for whatever his issues are, I’d just cut and run were I you.
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This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by
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