Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Boyfriend removes as friend from snapchat and im worried sick!

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  • #850888 Reply

    Me and my boyfriend got together 4 days ago. We decided to hide our relationship at school since the popular girls are going to bully me if they find out because my boyfriend is one of the popularest guys at school. Yesterday a guy in my class had to sit by me because of an assignment the teacher told us to do. Another guy that sat behind me started shipping us. Of course, he didnt know about my relationship with the popularest guy at school. I had to read what i wrote for the assignment but i didnt want to since it was reffering to something. So the guy I had to work with, took my pc and started reading out loud. I tried to take the pc away and when I got it the guy behind me was going like “Ohh flirting!” and yelling that I like the guy and he likes me. My boyfriend, which sits on the right side behind me took a book infron of his face and turned to the side. I saw him getting kinda red and when he took the book away he looked down kinda angry and emotionless. As i got home i sended a snap asking him whats up. Then I saw that he removed me as a friend from snapchat. I knew that the only reason because of this is the things the guy behind me said.
    So now im really afraid that he thinks im cheating on me. My two bestfriends which know about this, think thathe is really sad and that he is crying himself to sleep and all that.

    I kind off think that too because my friends keep on telling me how special I am for him. They say he always stares at me when i dont look like i am the world to him and that he rejects every girl that comes close to him. They also say that he was a playboy before and that he never ever treated a girl like me. Which means that i am really special to him.

    Now im really worried sick. My stomach hurts and my heart pouns very fast.

    What should I do? Should i go to his house? or should i ignore him? I will appreciate all help.

    #850891 Reply

    Wow. How old are you guys? I would guess 11 or 12 years old from the way you described the situation. Not old enough to be having relationships. Your boyfriend and the other kids in your class sound shockingly immature if you’re in high school.

    Just as a general rule, you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you have to hide it. Especially if you’re hiding it because one of you is “popular.” That’s never going to work.

    Your boyfriend acted like a jerk and he’s the one who should be apologizing to you. He just sat there and got embarrassed while some loser guy humiliated you right in front of him and the whole class. Even if he was just an innocent bystander, I’m sorry but if he was a good kid he’d be like, “Hey, give her her computer back. That’s not cool.” If he cared about you and not just himself, he’d want to make sure you’re ok. He’d want to talk about it. But no, he’s too embarrassed about the whole thing. Ugh.

    The crying himself to sleep and thinking you’re cheating sound like a stretch, but if you really think that’s true, ask to talk to him in person and explain. That is literally all you can do. Don’t apologize or beg for forgiveness. Feel free to also tell him you’re disappointed he didn’t stand up for you, and you really want a boyfriend who doesn’t hide you or get embarrassed by you. And that it’s not going to work for you to try to date someone who thinks you’re cheating every time you talk to a guy or get assigned to work on a project with a guy. Honestly, start now with not accepting poor behavior from boyfriends.

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by avatarKate.
    #850894 Reply

    I don’t care how popular he is, it has to feel bad to be a secret girlfriend. Don’t be in relationships you have to hide. And definitely don’t apologize to Mr Popular! You did nothing wrong. Honestly, he’s not that into you if he keeps you secret & drops you without a conversation over something so stupid. I really hope you’re in middle school.

    In the long run popularity in school is meaningless. Once you get out of school nobody knows who was popular & who wasn’t. If an adult talks about how great they were in high school it’s an indication that they peaked at age 18 and haven’t done anything significant with their adult life. So try not to focus on it so much

    #850902 Reply

    I’m agreed the secret relationship is not a good sign. You should be suspicious if someone who asks to be your bf wants to keep it a secret. If he’s so popular, he’d defend you if you were bullied. And he wouldn’t delete you for whatever happened in class.

    #850939 Reply

    The only acceptable reason to keep a relationship secret is if they are a literal spy working to take down a secret evil organization that you are also a part of and trying to take down from the inside.

    Otherwise, this is a very, very bright red flag, whether you’re 14 or 41.

    The good news is, this relationship is only a few days old, so you can tell him “hey, I’m not comfortable being a secret after-all” and he still has the chance to do the right thing.

    Odds are he won’t and he’ll just end it, though, so be prepared for that.

    #850940 Reply

    It’s one thing if you guys mutually decide to hide it so you don’t get bullied. But if he gets that stressed over someone implying that you are flirting, then I’d have to wonder if I was being kept a secret for another reason. I don’t think he’s mature enough to have a relationship.

    #850951 Reply

    “popularest” is not a word.

    #850996 Reply

    He was keeping you a secret for a reason, move on and grow up a bit before you get in another ‘relationship’.

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