Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Boyfriend’s Mom

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  • This topic has 3 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 weeks, 1 day ago by Bittergaymark.
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  • #1098107 Reply

    I understand that this might come off as insensitive, but in reality I’m just concerned. My boyfriend’s mom is disabled and has many medical conditions. She was recently hospitalized for a rash/infection on her leg. She is also obese and isn’t able to walk long distance which makes it hard for her do run errands on her own. I don’t mind that my boyfriend is attentive to her and helps her out and she seems to be kind to me so far. I have noticed that my boyfriend will be running late most times because he needs to get her prescriptions or run a errand for her. I try not to pay it any mind because I don’t mind that he’s basically being a great son! Recently we’ve been talking about marriage and how when we move in he has hopes that his mom can move in with other family members. Of course I never get into details and point out that most likely she would want to stay with him. He is her only son and they live together. It really brings me down to just think we would have to be having her live with us in our early years of marriage, my mom is a single mom as well and I’m the only kid in the house left. My mom is also needy , she’s not disabled but she gets sad when she’s alone. So I’ve thought about having my mom live with me as well but not in the fist couple of years of marriage. Of course my boyfriend’s mom has a more intense situation going on and I wouldn’t be able to say no if it comes down to it. I’m wondering if this in fact will be a dealbreaker for me at one point as it gets more intense, because as of now my boyfriend has only been running late or cancels our date nights at times because he has to pick her up from the hospital right after work. Again I don’t mind I actually admire the care he gives his mom I just don’t think it’s something I’m looking forward to. Am I a selfish person to be thinking like this ?

    #1098112 Reply

    For one who doesn’t mind, you seem to mind an awful lot. You are likely right that this is a red flag for you. Btw, there are a number of houses built with or modified to have attached MIL apartments, which would provide the privacy you desire.

    #1098115 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    #1098118 Reply

    Ha ha, Ron! “I don’t mind at all! But here, do let me prattle on and on and on about just how much I do mind…”

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