Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

butterfly in stomach and can’t breath

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  • #1091416 Reply
    butterfly
    Guest

    QUESTION 1: I got this butterfly feeling in my stomach each time I see this person nearby or around. It lasted about 30 minutes up to an hour and after that I couldn’t breath for a few seconds then really hard to inhale and exhale for air. Does anyone knows what that means?

    QUESTION 2: There is someone I really like but he doesn’t like me. Because I handled it so immaturely I hurt our friendships. Now he won’t speak to me anymore and he probably hate me too. And he has every right to and I don’t blame him because I hate myself too. It’s all my fault. I am so stupid and a big idiots. I know there is nothing I can do to amend it. It is what it is. Will he ever forgives me for my stupidity in the future? Will he be friended with me again? Should I ask him to hear me explain? Should I leave him alone and let time heal on its own?

    #1091422 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Has the person in Question 2 asked you to leave them alone? Then you need to. I don’t know what you did or how unforgivable it was, but it sounds like this person is done with you. Whether they may get over it and reach out to you again at some point is possible but not probable.

    The first one sounds like a stress response.

    #1091423 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    It sounds like you hurt this person, and possibly crossed boundaries. By continuing to reach out, even to try to explain, you continue to cross boundaries set by the other person. That means you haven’t really learned anything and you are putting your needs above that of your former friend. Leave him alone.

    #1091642 Reply
    Butterfly
    Guest

    Reply to KATE #1091422, This person has NEVER asked me to leave (let’s called Karma) alone. I think Karma is very pissed off at me and done with me. I feel like running away as fast as my legs can carry me when I see Karma because I’m afraid/intimidate/embarrass of Karma now and feel very awkward and stress when I see Karma. (if Karma would just talk to me then I know “all” those negatives feelings will disappear but I know Karma won’t do it). I don’t think it’s a “crime” to like someone who doesn’t like you back or a “crime” to act foolishly toward that person. But I feel to Karma it’s a big NO-NO. My friend thinks the way Karma’s handling the whole situation was very immature and not very adult-like to go without saying anything and also thinks Karma is not the right one for me.

    #1091649 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    If this is at work, do nothing.

    If it’s not at work, you could send him a text that says you think he’s angry at you and you hope to be able to talk about it when he’s ready. And then you have to leave it there.

    Of course it’s not a crime to like someone when they don’t like you, but your behavior could be construed as harassment or stalking depending on the circumstances. Again, no idea what you did, but is it something that YOU would possibly find creepy if it were done to you by someone you aren’t into?

    Why do you keep running into this person? If it’s at work, ok, unavoidable. If it’s not work, can’t you alter your behavior and routine so you don’t keep seeing him?

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