Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Buy the car?

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  • #845753 Reply

    Seriously though, it could be that 1) it’s a manual that she can’t drive, and 2) it’s a car that’s not what she wants.

    Like, first of all it’s a stick, and second it’s a mustang and RWD.

    #845757 Reply

    Bagge, you are making assumptions too. We are all filling in the story with details from our own experiences because the OP provided so little. My opinion would change if it turned out the car were paid for with a work stipend vs. if he just means its his daily driver to go to work.

    Although I would still push back a little on the “no impact to budget” part because if its a gas guzzler or high insurance then it may cost more than the work stipend covers. Also if he gets fired, changes roles, changes jobs etc. then the stipend evaporates and they would be on the hook for the full cost of this car.

    #845758 Reply
    avatarNicole Pasalagua

    Lol, selfish waste of money! Get rid of one car if you want to save on gas and just get a regular car.

    #845759 Reply

    I think if his work was paying for it, he’d have included that info in the original post. Without that, because he talked about “our budget,” I assume it’s their money.

    #845761 Reply

    Oh of course I am, and I have said that, but at least they aren’t assumptions on his parking situation, and his wife’s absolute need to use this car, and the fact that she now has two very high mileage cars to drive that are going to absolutely break down while he gets a new one. I’m at least trying to keep my assumptions to what he provided. Granted they are still assumptions, and 100% could be wrong.

    #845763 Reply
    avatarCanada Goose

    Sorry LW, it’s in no way “practical” to buy a car your spouse can’t drive. I am the manual lover in my family and was resistant to change but it is so much easier when everyone can drive all the cars.

    Sometimes, it’s just better for the family as a unit if you compromise. I find the voices that scream ‘hell no’ and insist on people’s right to make choices their spouses don’t like are not folks in happy relationships. The phrase ‘happy wife, happy life’ was invented for a reason and runs both ways. You compromise on this and she’ll compromise on something else, and you’ll both feel loved, valued and heard. To me at least, that was more important the actualizing my vision of myself whizzing down the coastal highway in my red convertible, the wind whipping my hair as my hand rested on the gear shift.

    #845764 Reply

    bagge72! Don’t forget that his wife had absolutely ZERO say in either car. Oh, and that some grave impending emergency looms in which he will surely die if she can’t drive him to the ER…

    #845766 Reply

    Dude needs to come back and clarify a bunch of stuff – otherwise we’re going to keep arguing with our own assumptions. I’d like to know:

    Who/how is this car being paid for?

    When you mean “virtually no impact” on your budget, what does that mean? Does that mean you’re getting a stipend from work and so it’s really will be just gas and maybe routine maintenance that you will have to pay personally? Or are you planning to take from savings/investments and paying for the car in full so they’re won’t be an impact on your monthly budget, but it might mean using reserves your wife might want to use for something else (or just hang onto to have a healthy rainy day fund)?

    What is the intended function of this car (not that you CAN’T have a for fun car, but you’re trying to sell this as a practical car – let’s level set about what your true motivations for having this car really are, how is it’s practical purpose distinct from the two practical cars you already have)?

    What are ALL your wife’s objection to this car? Is it really just about her not being able to drive stick and not wanting to have a car that will be impossible for her to drive, on the small off-chance it was an emergency and she needed to, or are there other things that make this a car she doesn’t want?

    How soon will your other two cars need to be replaced? Are they closer (or in pretty bunged up shape despite being functional), so your wife would prefer to start replacing those, and you getting a car she can’t drive is going to set back that goal?

    #845769 Reply

    Again. The wet blanket should fucking woman up snd learn to drive a stick. It’s hilarious how some people insist on holding themselves (and EVERYBODY ELSE!) back…

    #845770 Reply

    I’m sure he’s really happy reading all of the creative insults directed at his wife for not wanting to buy the car he likes.

    #845772 Reply

    BGM – I guess all I can say is marriage is marriage. You have to compromise and at times you don’t always get your way.

    I fully admit I’m making assumptions about how they’re paying for this (I’m totally banking on this being paid out of their savings in full, not that he’s getting outside help from his employer or anything), and yeah, when you make a big purchase using joint funds, that’s gotta be talked about and agreed upon.

    Certainly get a lot of people don’t want to deal with that; with having to give up some of their autonomy, and they (and perhaps you?) choose not to get married because of that. Which cool, it *is* hard sometimes to not get do what you want and spend what you want and to constantly have to think about how your actions impact the whole.

    But unlike you, this dude is married. He has to accommodate his wife and work with her. Them’s the breaks.

    He needs to better understand her objections to this car, and work with her to alleviate them/figure out a tenable compromise.

    #845773 Reply

    High mileage often leads to costly repairs, I’m surprised you can’t understand that Bagge.😉 He didn’t mention that for no reason. What would be the purpose of mentioning that and leaving out all the other details?

    If it’s a car that is parked at their house, do you truly believe there would never be an occasion where she would need to drive it, or even move it? No one said that was an absolute, only that it’s likely.

    Skyblossom had ONE example of a friend with a small driveway.

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