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Dear Wendy

Chores and cleaning at home with housemate.

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  • This topic has 7 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by bittergaymarkBittergaymark.
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  • #887453 Reply

    What are your best practices to divide chores with housemate? Ever since my flatmate moved in he hasnt cleaned the flat once, it’s always me. We get along together really well and he is a genuinely nice person, but when it comes to cleaning or doing chores/life admin, he’s the worst!
    He never really had to do anything in the past but I dont feel like acting like his mum and telling him what and when to do stuff, although it seems to be the solution.
    I cleaned the living space and kitchen on the weekend and I kindly asked him to do the rest (bathroom and entrance), and he didnt. He apologized yesterday saying he didnt have time. But I dont feel he will do it at some point.

    He also tends to leave his dirty dishes for a couple of days. It happens to me too I need to say but he’s worse. (It never smells or stinks or anything its mainly glasses or so).

    How can I make him understand that I dont ask him to clean for me but for both of us, as we both live in the house? I dont know if he expects me to do everything, if he doesnt care or if he doesnt know, but that seriously starts to annoy me.

    #887454 Reply

    I think you need to sit down together and make a written chore chart.

    #887459 Reply

    Don’t excuse his laziness or lack of cleaning on that he never had to before. He’s an adult. If his parents didn’t teach him how to care for his things and the space he lives in, he needs to get up to speed. Talk about it, agree to a chore chart or even consider hiring a cleaner. It’s not your responsibility to teach him to be an adult. It’s not “women’s work.” He needs to do his share, too.

    All dishes should be washed as they are used. Especially if he’s the type to leave them for days.

    #887470 Reply

    Sadly, I used to be like that when I was young. Finally I moved in with some roommates and they started making “cleaning dates” with me. They’d say, “On Sunday at 2pm we’re all going to spend a couple hours cleaning. Pick two chores: Vacuuming, kitchen, bathroom, dusting, mopping.”

    That at least got us started on the big stuff. Then I started to notice the little stuff that would make the big stuff not last as long.

    Maybe that’ll help?

    #887480 Reply

    I like that idea, Sonny.

    I actually have my chores on my calendar app and I make a list of other things I want to take care of.

    #887490 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ

    Yeah, you basically have to outline basic cleaning rules that you both adhere to like “no dishes out overnight,” “pick your towels up off the floor” and “wipe down the counters after you’re done” and then have a set time to more thoroughly clean – 7pm on Mondays or whatever. Even with all this, though, some people are just generally messier than others and the one who is more bothered by mess ends up doing more picking up. At least, that’s always been my experience with roommates (and my husband) – and I’m always the one more bothered by the mess!

    #887572 Reply

    Thanks guys for your answers, it does help!

    He is indeed as he says himself “not very fussy”, which to me means not very clean.
    I air my room 15 minutes every morning, he doesn’t. I air the whole house, he never thinks about it. He doesn’t think about taking the recyclable out, or cleaning the kitchen towels.

    To be honest, when I was younger I also was like that but after a couple of years living by myself or sharing flats I auto-disciplined myself. I guess it will come with time for him too. I shouldn’t be mad at him, and I must admit that I am quite fussy as well and not everybody is like that.

    I will indeed set a day and time to clean together and I think it will help!

    Thanks again guys

    #887742 Reply

    I think both Kate and Sonny have great ideas. Implement both —- create the chart and then set up that cleaning date!!

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