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Concerned for friend’s kid

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  • #1090199 Reply
    Ghosh
    Guest

    I have a dear friend who has a similar aged kid as mine (almost 5). I met her & her family after a long time, as they were living in a diff city and moved here a few months ago. I noticed some communication issues with the kid- uses no legible/understandable language, zero eye contact, doesnt respond when spoken to or responds after addressing many times, gets super upset without any visible reason, had an accident since she couldn’t verbalize that she needed to go to the bathroom etc. The parents have withdrawn her from her daycare/preschool. It is really challenging to entertain kids at home during covid with parents working from home …so I was curious as to why they stopped sending her to her preschool. They said the class size is too big and that she is not getting 1:1 attention. She doesn’t go to any activities or sports. I am no child behavior expert, but I think all of the 5 yr olds I’ve interacted with, including mine, can drive you crazy with their talking and their questions. So I am concerned for the kid. I dont even know who the parent shd go to if they suspect their child has some developmental challenges. I don’t know- is it just shyness? Is the kid just a late bloomer? Is it autism? How do I try to put it across to the parents that they should probably talk to their pediatrician and take it from there without sounding interfering? Am I interfering? Shd I just let them figure it out on their own? Any advice is appreciated.

    #1090200 Reply
    Ghosh
    Guest

    Also, I know for a fact that they haven’t asked these questions to their paediatrician or any expert, they just think that she is shy.

    #1090207 Reply
    Kate
    Keymaster

    How do you know for a fact they haven’t talked to a doctor? Did you ask and they said no? It’s possible they did but they don’t want to discuss what’s going on with her. Though they probably did have conversations with the daycare people before withdrawing her. The daycare may have told them they can’t care for the child adequately and asked them to find another solution. They may just not want to discuss the situation with friends.

    It’s also possible she IS just shy in public but fine at home.

    But look, if you asked has she seen a doctor about this and they said no, what else can you do? Their child’s health really is their business.

    #1090208 Reply
    LisforLeslie
    Guest

    Let them figure it out. Unless you are an expert in language skills and child development then I don’t think you have anything to add that they don’t already know and get from members of their current community.

    They may be in complete denial, or they may be trying to figure out what services are available in their area while they get a diagnosis and have no desire to go into detail about her health or issues.

    #1090209 Reply
    anonymousse
    Participant

    I think you need to be very careful about how you proceed. I would be so upset if a friend of mine was fixated on ways in which my child is different and my parenting, like you seem to be. This is none of your business. Five year olds have accidents sometimes. That’s not a big deal or some breaking news example of her being delayed. As for all the other stuff, you can rest assured that a pediatrician/school will absolutely tell the parents if they think there is anything wrong. Please back off and stop looking for examples of how you believe she is delayed. Be kind and supportive and leave the medical opinions to the doctors.

    #1090216 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster
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