Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Confused and hurt.

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  • This topic has 16 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by avatarFYI.
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  • #962466 Reply
    avatarNat
    Guest

    FYI you’re absolutely right. I do need to examine further why I’m trying to fix this. Right now I can’t figure exactly and I’m hoping the answer will come through with all the help I am getting FOR MYSELF. I have a lot of previous hurt ( family, friends, career) hurt to deal with and I understand what you say. I completely agree. I’m not innocent and accept responsibility . I know I’m an idiot for staying. I just wish I had balls. Someone got any I borrow?

    #962471 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    That’s why I told you to stay separated for now. Don’t worry about divorce or anything final while your emotions, fears, & insecurities are in overdrive. Just be separated. See if in a few weeks you like your less stress life. Not walking on eggshells, no feelings of dread every time he hides his phone or gives you fishy cover stories. Reconnect with friends & family. Enjoy coming and going when you please. Make yourself happy without having to worry about his roid rage. It is scary leaving a relationship that consumes you. At first. It gets so much easier when your head clears and you realize life is actually better without him. Definitely get into therapy! You don’t want to repeat this shit show!

    #962472 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    You don’t need balls. Balls are not actually very tough. They are highly sensitive and easily hurt.

    Get into therapy STAT. Try to look at your marriage and life as objectively as you can. He’s a terrible partner who does bad things and is not going to change. YOU have the power to change your life. The first step is a divorce. Then you can let that go and focus on rebuilding yourself and meeting better people down the line. That will take time! You have only time to waste. Don’t waste any more of it on the wrong person.

    #962482 Reply
    avatarNat
    Guest

    I’ve recently started group therapy that is working on building one self up after an Abusive relationship. I’m keeping an open mind about it. I have so much damage to repair, I have to relearn how to love myself and trust others again, actually I gotta learn to trust myself again. I do plan on also going through my work EAP for private counseling for issues surrounding this and others that were buried in my life. I’m scared to admit it but the crying has lessened, I find my self not missing him so much. I’m slowly becoming ok without him around.

    #962495 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    You’re on the road to much more peace. Congratulations! — and keep it up.

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