Confused if we’re frenemies or something else????

Home / Forums / Advice & Chat / Confused if we’re frenemies or something else????

Viewing 9 posts - 13 through 21 (of 21 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • October 9, 2023 at 8:12 am #1126049

    Listen to @Kate and @LisforLeslie

    You don’t owe anything to guys who make you feel bad about yourself. You can be cordial or friendly, but know at the end of the day this guy has serious respect issues towards women (even women he’s attracted to) and should not be trusted.

    Reply
    Avatar photo
    October 9, 2023 at 10:26 am #1126050

    Oh, ew. Yeah, when I first read this, I assumed what had happened between you two couldn’t have been so bad because you go on to say this year has been fun in large part because of him. The fat-shaming is gross, though, and I’m surprised you’ve warmed up to him even as a friend, TBH. And sounds like he’s still doing it? Because he was bored??? Nope. Not good, not okay, there should be no coming back for this guy in any capacity.

    I’ve read a couple of books by Aubrey Gordon — she’s a fat activist and cohost of the podcast Maintenance Phase — and to @Kate’s point, she writes about people in larger bodies who were in relationships where they were kept a secret for months or sometimes even years.

    Reply
    LisforLeslie
    October 9, 2023 at 11:12 am #1126052

    Yeah, a guy who loves you for you will not care that you’re larger. Men and women can happily love larger people. Just like men and women can love bald people or people who have other physical “differences”. A guy who makes fun of you for being larger may love you but that “despite” is always there. There is a difference.

    Reply
    Anonymousse
    October 9, 2023 at 6:04 pm #1126058

    Hey bloody, I hate to say this and be that person always, but I was tricked into breaking up with my long term bf in college because some group of dudes thought it would be funny and wanted to try their chance at dating me. That was college, and I was a tiny teen model, not a pudgy awkward person.

    They were absolutely brutal to the less attractive in different ways. Guys like this are just assholes. Women are abstract playthings for many men. We’re here to mess with and discard. Not All Guys, no, definitely not all but plenty are totally despicable jerks to women.

    Maybe he’s not like this, but I’d be careful.

    Reply
    Anonymousse
    October 9, 2023 at 6:07 pm #1126059

    Don’t be friends with people who fat shame or or just regular shame you. It’s not worth the pain. Those comments add up. Are you okay? It’s make me sad that you think he might like you even while he’s dissing you. This is not okay.

    Reply
    IDEK
    October 10, 2023 at 11:43 am #1126094

    Oml…ok, wow. The realisation is starting to hit and it feels like a damn hangover. If he is even half as bad as u guys think, im absolutely repulsed.

    I would hate, hate, HATE being a dirty to secret to anyone and whats worse is that, for a second, i genuinely thought he had changed for the better which just goes to show how clouded my mind was. @Copa, tysm for recommending Aubrey Gordon, i will read her works as often as i can. The reason i decided to bury the hatchett w this dude is because most of the school is his fanbase and i just wanted to be on good terms with everyon this year w/out much drama. but like @bloodymediocrity said, i dont owe him anything outside that. @LisforLeslie, tbh, it should be the other way around w him being grateful for my friendship.

    All in all, i couldnt be more thankful to y’all for helping me see through this fog. i wish guys like this didnt exist

    <3

    Reply
    October 10, 2023 at 2:52 pm #1126160

    Wow @Anonymousse, that’s really shitty. I’m sorry that happened.

    I still don’t think that’s likely the case here given the facts at hand, but it’s definitely not impossible.

    Reply
    Anonymousse
    October 10, 2023 at 4:08 pm #1126165

    If he makes fun of her in front of her, he’s probably doing it behind her back. I’m was no idiot, (maybe naive, but I was 18) this happened a few times to other girls when I was in HS and college. I mean, there are movies about the joke of beautifying the nerd and making her cool. (She’s all that,etc) Maybe times have changed but it seems harder to be a teen in the world.

    Reply
    Anonymousse
    October 10, 2023 at 4:09 pm #1126166

    I mean, he fat shamed her right after hitting on her. Not good.

    Reply
Viewing 9 posts - 13 through 21 (of 21 total)
Reply To:

Confused if we’re frenemies or something else????

Your information: