- This topic has 20 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 months, 3 weeks ago by Anonymousse.
You don’t owe anything to guys who make you feel bad about yourself. You can be cordial or friendly, but know at the end of the day this guy has serious respect issues towards women (even women he’s attracted to) and should not be trusted.
Oh, ew. Yeah, when I first read this, I assumed what had happened between you two couldn’t have been so bad because you go on to say this year has been fun in large part because of him. The fat-shaming is gross, though, and I’m surprised you’ve warmed up to him even as a friend, TBH. And sounds like he’s still doing it? Because he was bored??? Nope. Not good, not okay, there should be no coming back for this guy in any capacity.
I’ve read a couple of books by Aubrey Gordon — she’s a fat activist and cohost of the podcast Maintenance Phase — and to @Kate’s point, she writes about people in larger bodies who were in relationships where they were kept a secret for months or sometimes even years.LisforLeslieOctober 9, 2023 at 11:12 am #1126052
Yeah, a guy who loves you for you will not care that you’re larger. Men and women can happily love larger people. Just like men and women can love bald people or people who have other physical “differences”. A guy who makes fun of you for being larger may love you but that “despite” is always there. There is a difference.AnonymousseOctober 9, 2023 at 6:04 pm #1126058
Hey bloody, I hate to say this and be that person always, but I was tricked into breaking up with my long term bf in college because some group of dudes thought it would be funny and wanted to try their chance at dating me. That was college, and I was a tiny teen model, not a pudgy awkward person.
They were absolutely brutal to the less attractive in different ways. Guys like this are just assholes. Women are abstract playthings for many men. We’re here to mess with and discard. Not All Guys, no, definitely not all but plenty are totally despicable jerks to women.
Maybe he’s not like this, but I’d be careful.AnonymousseOctober 9, 2023 at 6:07 pm #1126059
Don’t be friends with people who fat shame or or just regular shame you. It’s not worth the pain. Those comments add up. Are you okay? It’s make me sad that you think he might like you even while he’s dissing you. This is not okay.IDEKOctober 10, 2023 at 11:43 am #1126094
Oml…ok, wow. The realisation is starting to hit and it feels like a damn hangover. If he is even half as bad as u guys think, im absolutely repulsed.
I would hate, hate, HATE being a dirty to secret to anyone and whats worse is that, for a second, i genuinely thought he had changed for the better which just goes to show how clouded my mind was. @Copa, tysm for recommending Aubrey Gordon, i will read her works as often as i can. The reason i decided to bury the hatchett w this dude is because most of the school is his fanbase and i just wanted to be on good terms with everyon this year w/out much drama. but like @bloodymediocrity said, i dont owe him anything outside that. @LisforLeslie, tbh, it should be the other way around w him being grateful for my friendship.
All in all, i couldnt be more thankful to y’all for helping me see through this fog. i wish guys like this didnt exist
<3AnonymousseOctober 10, 2023 at 4:08 pm #1126165
If he makes fun of her in front of her, he’s probably doing it behind her back. I’m was no idiot, (maybe naive, but I was 18) this happened a few times to other girls when I was in HS and college. I mean, there are movies about the joke of beautifying the nerd and making her cool. (She’s all that,etc) Maybe times have changed but it seems harder to be a teen in the world.AnonymousseOctober 10, 2023 at 4:09 pm #1126166
I mean, he fat shamed her right after hitting on her. Not good.