Confusing?

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  • Becca
    November 9, 2023 at 2:33 pm #1126579

    Me and my ex of 7 years have started speaking again, I know it’s not a great idea but it happens.

    He has a lot going on right now so sometimes won’t respond for a good few hours. I’m the type of person if I can’t talk, I’ll just say ‘talk to you later’ so when I can tell he’s busy or maybe just not in the mood to talk I just say ‘I’ll leave you to it, message me later’ but he will just continue the conversation.

    We had a little disagreement the past few days and it’s just been a bit cold between us. So I decided it would be good to just move away from each other for a bit, when I said this and that I won’t bother him, he just ignored it and started a conversation.
    Why won’t he let me stop talking to him?

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    November 10, 2023 at 9:04 am #1126583

    “Why won’t he let me stop talking to him?”

    Unless he has some kind of mind-control powers that you didn’t mention here, he’s not making you do anything. If you truly don’t want to talk to him any more, that’s your boundary to enforce. If you do want to talk to him but there’s an unresolved issue between you that hasn’t been addressed, you need to address.

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    Avatar photo
    November 10, 2023 at 9:37 am #1126584

    This is kind of weird. Is this all happening over text only? Or are you spending time together IRL?

    Like… it’s perfectly reasonable/normal for someone to not respond to a text for “a good few hours” when you’re busy without explaining yourself.

    Anyway, nobody can force you to talk to someone you don’t want to. You aren’t stopping because for some reason you don’t want to, even though you acknowledge it’s not a good idea. If you want to stop talking to him, stop. You can simply not respond. You can block his number if you need to.

    IMO you’re wasting your own time here.

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    LisforLeslie
    November 10, 2023 at 11:00 am #1126585

    Based on what you wrote – you sound pretty manipulative here.

    You say: so when I can tell he’s busy or maybe just not in the mood to talk I just say ‘I’ll leave you to it, message me later’ but he will just continue the conversation

    How I interpret this: When I don’t feel he’s giving me enough attention instead of saying good bye, I imply that he’s not giving me enough attention and he’s not picking up the hint.

    You say: So I decided it would be good to just move away from each other for a bit, when I said this and that I won’t bother him, he just ignored it and started a conversation.

    How I interpret this: Instead of just ghosting him or being less available I tried to use guilt (I won’t bother you) to see if he would respond.

    Honestly, as you’ve described, either he’s clueless or simply ignoring the games that you’re playing. If you don’t want to talk to him. Just stop answering his calls & texts.

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    Anonymousse
    November 10, 2023 at 2:32 pm #1126586

    LOL well he sure called you out, didn’t he? We all know you’re still going to text him, that’s why you announced you’re stopping and he ignored it, because it’s a fake ultimatum you’ve made. People don’t need to excuse themselves via texting, I mean sometimes I tell someone I’m about to be busy, but doesn’t everyone just assume the other person is doing other things and not sitting alone in their house cradling their phone, waiting for the next text? We all have busy lives, you’re being a high maintenance texting partner.

    Why are our poking around an ex? Is he an ex for a good reason?

    If you actually want to stop texting, be a grown up and stop. It is literally that simple.

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