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Cousin-dilemma

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  • #875072 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    Hi!
    Right, so I’m totally confused now. I’m getting mixed signals from my own cousin!! He is 34 married with 2 kids and I’m 23. It all started a year ago when we first met after quite a long period of time (we last met 6 years before). It was all normal at first but then things started to just become… awkward. I mean I’m able to sense when there is something in the air between me and a guy and that was exactly what I felt when we met druing a family gathering…

    His dad, brother of mine, noticed when I entered the room dropping his teeth ’You…look really beautiful. Men should buckle up!” I smiled and then my cousin – call him Andrew- came with a similar expression, he couldn’t say a word just quickly hugged and then left the room. When we all said goodbye he hugged everyone, he gave my mum a little bit longer hug but when he reached me… he hugged me like for a long minute and it was a strong embrace like he wouldn’t want to let me go. I felt something strange in it. I just let it go, though telling myself I’m just overthinking it.

    But then came a party at our other cousin’s house, obviously me and my cousin was invited too, but our other cousin kept it in secret for some reason that I was coming too, as a surprise for Andrew. For some reason I couldn’t fathom, I was on pins and needles and checking the door every minute waiting for him to arrive…He made an expressive entrant, arriving as the last person to the party. 😀 In the meantime I solve the mystery, I was waiting for him to come so that I could see for myself if I was only overreacting the last meetings’ events. But other confusings signs were about to come…When he arrived and saw me he just scoffed! I couldn’t understand this. 😀 He came alone and our cousin said since I was sleeping there that we’d sleep in the same bed with him but that it’s not a problem since we are cousins…I nodded but planned in advance that I’m going home…I was not going to sleep in the same bed with him after what I felt.

    So we had a few drinks and we were talking near the pool, a bit separated from others, sitting in sun-beds. He was saying things like Ally, you know we had the best childhood with our grandparents…those snacks granny made for us, the porch. And then came our cousin’s husband and simply, ignoring me started to talk to Andrew. Really, like I was not even there. It was like he came to rescue the situation, like as if we were talking about something personal in secret… At least that’s what I sensed regarding how he looked at us.

    Okay, I left for another drink and then a bit later my taxi came with my dad inside, as he was leaving from work. My cousin’s seen me off and yelled for Andrew to come and say goodbye, too. He was a bit tipsy by then and when we hugged goodbye and kissed on the cheek, he almost reached my mouth…I hope nobody’s seen it but just to make things more awkward he even said ’Offf that was an almost-kiss’ laughing pretty drunkenly… We tried to laugh too, luckily my dad was not listening and then when I got in the taxi it was about to move when Andrew stepped closer, looked into my eyes and touched my arm before we left…

    And then last time we met Andrew and his wife and kids also came he acted a little bit more distant. We went to a restaurant with the family and when I went to the bathroom to tone up and on my way back I bumped into Andrew and his 4 yo son heading towards the bathroom. We glanced at each other and the little boy way yelling ’Ally you are here! I wanted you back!!’ I smiled at him, went back and when they came back too, Andrew teasingly pinched my belly and right after his son went like „Ally! I’m in love with you!!’ and then ran away and hid behind the curtains. Andrew sat next to his mother and told her what his son just told me, smiling… When we said goodbye he was already inside the car but when he realized he said by to everyone but me, he got out and hugged me, but for like 20 seconds this time.

    I always have a feeling his wife is kind of jealous of me? At least she doesn’t really like me, that’s 100%, she barely ever looks at me…Last event with Andrew was him wishing me happy bday through text at 12am…’A very very happy birthday to you…’
    Am I overreacting? Coincidences?

    #875077 Reply
    avatardogmom
    Guest

    I don’t usually call fake on stuff but … yeah, this seems fake. If it’s not … he’s 11 years older than you, he’s married with kids and you are blood relatives. That is three strikes, girl! Stop playing with fire.

    #875078 Reply
    avatarPDX816
    Guest

    yeah, I call fake.

    #875079 Reply
    avatarAnge
    Guest

    Shame he’s fictional, he sounds fun at parties.

    #875082 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    Fake AND gross.

    #875089 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    Why call it fake?? Why would I make up such stories? Ffs I’m not nuts!!!

    #875093 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    What’s your dilemma?

    #875094 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    If I’m just overreacting or should I be worried about his behaviour…

    #875096 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    How are you reacting, though? You told us about your cousin, but what has been your reaction to his behavior?

    #875098 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    We meet like 2 times a year so we barely even know each other. I mean obviously we do but basically I bump into the same strangers in the street a lot more often than I meet him so 😀 Of course it’s really strange but I don’t want any trouble or awkward minutes so I hope I’m just overreacting…

    #875099 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, but again, you haven’t told us how you’re reacting to this or what your feelings are. So I don’t know how to advise you on what to do. I really don’t know what you’re asking.

    #875101 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    I want a normal relationship with my cousin as with every other member of my family, just it was before these reactions started. I’m only asking how this all looks like to an outsider, I mean his reactions. Should I be worried, that’s all.

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