Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Cousin-dilemma

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  • #875102 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Worried that your relationship with him isn’t like with your other family members? Yes, I guess so, because it isn’t, right? If he makes you uncomfortable, you should avoid him. Don’t let him hug you if his hugs go on too long. If he touches you where you don’t like to be touched, say “Don’t do that.” Directly and firmly.

    #875103 Reply
    avatarTabitha_Mc
    Guest

    Why all the smiley emojis? They suggest you either find this funny or enjoyable. If that’s not the case they’re weirdly distracting. If it is the case, then ick.

    #875104 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    I don’t know about over-reacting, but you are reacting in a very, very strange way. This is your cousin, for chrissakes. Your much older, married cousin. People are calling fake because it’s so creepy, and because your family members are not hitting on you. You make it sound like they were panting and gaga when you came into the room.

    He walks into a room, and you call that “expressive.” That’s why people are calling this fake. You sound lonely.

    #875105 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    I use emojis very often. Sorry about that. I was not asking for advice on my reactions or feelings since I’m aware of them. I just wanted an ‘outsider’ opinion of these reactions. I wrote exactly what and how happened. You all sound a bit bitter to me… Couldn’t just answer the question.

    #875106 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    There was no question though! And I honestly cannot interpret your reaction.

    Again, just avoid him. When he goes in for a hug, push him away after 2 seconds and say, “that’s enough.” Call him out for pinching your belly or whatever gross thing he does. Stay away from him. Tell your dad he makes you uncomfortable.

    No one’s bitter, your letter is just weird.

    #875107 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    Look, I know how to deal with it, all I wanted to ask is that for you who read this thread, how do his actions sound…Normal? Appropriate for a cousin? That’s all.

    #875108 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    No. Your dad’s whole side of the family sounds weird.

    #875109 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    But whether or not it’s normal— it either makes you uncomfortable or it doesn’t, and you should react accordingly.

    #875111 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    Never in my life have I had to share a bed with my male adult cousins. It’s weird. The whole thing is weird.

    #875112 Reply

    It sounds like YOU have a gross crush on your older married cousin. That’s what this sounds like. Because no one else would be over analyzing every moment of their cousins behavior.

    That is wrong on multiple different levels. You sound lonely and bored. Stop hugging your cousin for over a minute. Don’t allow him to touch your stomach. Maybe stop spending so much time with your family for a little while.

    To be sure, if your older cousin is giving you lingering hugs and trying to kiss you while drunk, he’s a creep. So maybe he’s a creep and you’re bored but that still doesn’t make this okay.

    #875113 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    You specifically asked whether you were over-reacting. When people told you “Yes, you’re being weird,” you said we’re bitter. You described him as walking into a room, talking with you about your granny, and hugging you a few times, along with all your other family members — and you want us to interpret this!?

    Again, he has kids and a wife and he’s your cousin. Jesus.

    #875118 Reply
    avatarAlly
    Guest

    Seems to me you omitted a few other details . 🙂 Don’t be so offensive.

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