Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Dating

This topic contains 70 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by avatar Kate 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 71 total)
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  • #740290 Reply
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    Ambur

    Had a pretty good date last night. Seemed like a sincere, good guy. Felt disappointed when he didn’t pay for my drink. In past dates, guys paid, but I have offered Usually guys do more in the beginning, so I’m not sure where it would go from here. Or am I being petty?

    #740291 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Probably petty. But how did it go down when the check came? What exactly did you do and he do?

    #740294 Reply
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    JD

    I’d be put off by it. I think he should pay 100% for first date but just a single drink. Really? Either cheap or not interested.

    #740296 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I think you’re being kinda petty, yeah. Why are you offering to pay if it’s not sincere?

    You don’t mention where you met or how many times you’ve been out, but I feel extra strong that there shouldn’t be an expectation for the man to pay when it’s a first online date.

    #740302 Reply
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    Ambur

    Was a first date. We both went to the bathroom, he came back first, and I guess he asked for separate checks.

    I offer to pay, but I prefer that he wants to pay. I appreciate the gesture.

    #740303 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    I disagree that he should pay 100%. Dating is different today than it was even 10 years ago. Before the husband, I dated someone what was 7 years my junior. Our first date, we split the bill. It had no reflection of how he felt about me… he wasn’t a cheap guy and he was 100% interested. Next date, he did pick up. And we ended up doing a lot of back and forth like that.

    Anyway, I reject that today, a man should be expected to pay 100%. If women want equal rights, that should go for dating too.

    LW, I think you’re being petty if you had an otherwise good time.

    #740304 Reply
    Lianne
    Lianne
    Participant

    While I agree with ktfran, there shouldn’t be an expectation, I do think it’s tacky to ask for separate checks. JMO.

    #740305 Reply

    LW
    You don’t sound too thrilled over him so probably move on.

    #740306 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    A guy who asks for separate checks while you’re in the bathroom and it’s one drink on your tab… idk, that’s a little… uninterested in making a positive impression i guess? But it’s also lame to go to the bathroom while the check is sitting there and you’re done. In that situation I would have grabbed the check before I went to the can. Most guys I went on first dates with (I’m over 40 btw) would insist on paying it, but I would sincerely try, and at least put down cash for my own.

    #740307 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    I agree with the separate checks, especially when one is in the bathroom. It would feel a lot more natural if he accepted the offer to split.

    #740318 Reply
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    K4

    He sounds a little petty or cheap if he will ask for a separate check while you are in the restroom and it was one drink. Get ready for round two if you go on another date. Personally I would peace out.

    This is also preference though. Some people want it to be old school and some people want it to be modern. Pick according to what makes you happy.

    #740320 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    When dating I always and sincerely offered to pay. I also truly appreciated it when a guy picked up the tab, particularly on a first date, very particularly on a first date for just a drink or coffee. I don’t like to be so old fashioned but yeah, this would be a turn off on a first date.

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