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Dear Wendy

Dealing with trauma without therapy

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  • This topic has 11 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 2 days ago by avatardirtorsoil.
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  • #874321 Reply

    I have tried therapy but it does not seem to work for me. I’ve dealt with much trauma and do not know how to handle it.

    #874428 Reply

    Some more details on what type of trauma would be helpful. Also, how long did you try therapy? Have you tried more then one therapist? Its very hard to find a good fit and sometimes it takes a lot of effort. If you can find a group therapy situation that can be helpful, and usually they are specific to the type of trauma (children of alcoholics, sexual assault survivors, for example). Often they are free. Honestly, you don’t even have to participate. Sometimes just going there and listening to others makes you feel less alone. About 2 years I experienced something life-shattering with no family support system. The local hospice provided a grief specific group that I attended. The first time I walked in took everything I had. It quite simply saved my life. You are not alone, there are people that give a shit.

    #874438 Reply

    It takes time to find the right therapist and even feel marked progress sometimes. I think you should keep trying therapy and go at least … I don’t know, 4 times to see if it’s helping? I’ve also had my share of trauma, and I found therapy doesn’t always feel good in the session, but I’ve been able to measure progress. If you feel like you don’t want to go that route, you could see a psychiatrist to try medication if that’s something you think might help. Often, you can find a office which has both psychiatrists and therapists on staff to work together to help you.

    You could find a group as advised above or even buy an app to talk to therapists remotely.

    #874480 Reply

    This might sound really dumb, but maybe you should consider getting a pet. We had just bought a puppy before I suffered a devastating loss literally 7 years ago to the day. I swear to you that puppy was what got me through it. I think it was because it gave me something to focus on and nurture. And that wonderful dog is laying about 5 feet from me as I type this. I know pets aren’t for everyone, but it really helped me.

    #874485 Reply

    She has dogs, per her other post about her townhouse neighbor.

    #874549 Reply

    I have tried multiple therapists. I was going to this one lady for a few months (the longest I’ve stayed with a therapist) but I made no progress. I was homeless a year ago (my second time being homeless) and while so my mother passed away in a car accident. I’m also dealing with a past of sexual abuse/incest, domestic violence, and all around toxic environments. I don’t have people in my life that I feel I can trust or rely on.

    #874552 Reply

    Depending on how you are actually dealing day-to-day, it might be worthwhile to look into a psychiatrist, if that is something you’d be willing to try. You could look for self help books in the library, or online. You could try a helpline. If you are working and have insurance, there may be free counseling sessions available to you. I’m not sure what else you could try. Generally when you’re trying to overcome serious trauma, it involves therapy or counseling and possibly medication if you have anxiety, PTSD, etc.

    I’ve found a lot of value in therapy. I’ve found having an unbiased, uninvolved ear to listen was helpful for me.

    #874615 Reply

    Well, with years of significant trauma, it’ll almost surely take longer than a few months in therapy to make significant progress. I went weekly for about a year before I felt like I could scale back. It’s worthwhile to take the time to find a therapist that you are comfortable with, but keep in mind there are different types of therapy. It may be that you haven’t found the type most suitable for you and what you are going through.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by CopaCopa.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks ago by CopaCopa.
    #874616 Reply

    I definitely think you should reconsider therapy. There are many different types of therapy. Different therapists follow different therapy paradigms an use different techniques. And some therapists are ineffective and terrible and others are amazing.

    Do some research on the types of therapies that people with similar traumatic backgrounds have had successful outcomes. You wouldn’t go to a dentist to address your back pain, you wouldn’t go to a oncologist to fix a torn ACL.

    Otherwise read self help books that focus on mindfulness and being in the present.

    #874617 Reply

    It does take time, and often good therapy sessions can make you feel pretty bad or even worse if you’re sharing things that you’ve been trying to forget or ignore for a long time.

    #874746 Reply

    Recommend looking for a therapist that specializes in trauma based therapy interventions. Prolonged Exposure (PE), EMDR, or Cognitive Processing Therapy are my recommendations. These are the gold standard for trauma. If you find them too intense then learning DBT skills before continuing with the trauma work will help you tolerate the intensity.

    #874924 Reply

    Will reiterate my suggestion for group therapy, esp since the OP has been homeless that indicates to me that $ is likely an issue. Contact your local hospice to find out about free group and individual counseling for grief and loss. Contact RAIIN:
    They offer support to survivors of sexual trauma. Just know you are not alone, many of us on here (I’d hazard a guess) are survivors as well #MeToo
    Good luck

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