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Dear Wendy

Depressed no one to talk to

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  • #999362 Reply
    avatarCloudy cat

    Hi group. I didn’t know where else to go and found this place and thought it try it.
    I’m very depressed but work a lot and I have no one I can talk to.
    My bf is great but he works a lot too. When I’m upset he doesn’t want to hear why bc he takes it very personally like I’m telling him bc I want him to fix it. But I’m just venting. I’m a person who needs to get things that are bothering me off my chest.

    Bc of covid I haven’t even any of my friends in basically a year. I feel like I can’t reach out to them just to vent with out anything positive to contribute.
    I feel like I’m just draining anyone and everyone around me of happiness Bc I’m so unhappy. I’ve talked to my regular dr but bc covid I can’t get a therapy appointment. I’m to the point of being so sad I lay in bed every night and think about how much better everyone would be if I was t a problem in their life.
    I don’t know how to get my old self back. I don’t know how to not feel this unbearable dread of life snd sadness.
    I don’t want to hurt myself. I just di t want to live anymore, like this. Idk what to do. I just hope someone can help with their advice how they got over a hurdle like this.

    #999711 Reply

    “I’ve talked to my regular dr but bc covid I can’t get a therapy appointment.”

    1. Call your doctor back and ask for a referral to someone who does online therapy. MOST therapists are working online due to covid. Or call your country’s suicide hotline, read them this post, and ask for a referral.
    2. Call one of your kindest friends on the phone. Ask them how they’re doing. Listen. If you feel like opening up, do it for five minutes. If you don’t, then ask what movies they’re watching.

    #1000786 Reply

    That would be great. But I literally have no one I can call on the phone. I’m too down on myself to do video chat or online dr appointments. All they want us to put me on meds tgat will stop any sex drive I have (the only reason left to live) and make me gain weight. So I do t think that the answer either. No pharmaceutical meds.

    #1000819 Reply

    I take an antidepressant that doesn’t kill my sex drive. I told my dr that was important to me. I’ve been on meds in the past that took my sex drive completely away, and I hated it. If you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed you’re not going to be able to talk therapy it away. You need meds. You don’t have to take them forever. Get stabilized and talk to your Dr about what to do next. My meds didn’t make me gain weight either. I really hope you reconsider your stance on meds

    #1000820 Reply

    Longtime depression sufferer here. This sounds very familiar to me

    Serious question – do you actually have no one to talk, or are you convincing yourself that no one actually wants to talk to you because you just talk about depressing things? Or are you feeling like you don’t have the energy to handle talking to actual friends?

    If either of these is the case, I find it helpful to remind myself that this is a construction of depression-brain and is in fact a total illusion. My friends DO like me, even if I can’t understand why. I’m willing to be $63 that your friends like you too.

    If you really just want to talk to someone, sometimes I use which will pair generally pair you with an untrained annonnymous stranger who is willing to listen to your problems. You basically sign up as a Listener or a Venter. It does the trick if I’m feeling frustrated but don’t want to bring it up with friends. Mileage may vary with it, but it’s *someone* to talk to. I’ve had some really interesting conversations on there and talked to some weirdoes, so you never know what you’re gonna get.

    Otherwise, @FYI is right. Therapy, therapy, therapy. Find a doctor who doesn’t jump right to psych meds. It’s hard work but having the right therapist makes all the difference in the world.

    #1000826 Reply

    One thing regarding meds that can be helpful is a pharmacological DNA test. Basically they do a DNA test and can analyze what medications will have the most potent side effects, and any genes that may be causing other problems. My wife did this and discovered her lifelong crippling anxiety is due to a gene mutation she has that prevents her from breaking down folate normally. An over-the-counter supplement she takes now has effectively cured one of her life’s biggest problems. Also as part of the study, she learned why each and every one of the 30+ depression medications she tried over the year completely failed.

    OneOme was the service we used, but there are several out there.

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