Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy


Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Depression

This topic contains 10 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar Essie 4 days, 12 hours ago.

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  • #851869 Reply

    I am having a real hard time hiding my tears. It seems like everything hurts me. I feel like I can’t even breathe and I am distancing myself from everyone around me. What can I even do? I need help but am too scared to ask for it.

    #851875 Reply
    Part-time Lurker

    You’re asking for help here and that’s the first step. You don’t mention why you’re feeling depressed or if this is something that you’ve been battling for a while so the only advice I can really offer is to take the next step and try to make an appointment with your Dr. or a therapist. There are also a number of online resources available that have been mentioned in previous threads if remaining somewhat anonymous is a little easier. I hope this helps.

    #851901 Reply

    Seeing a therapist would be great.If that’s too huge a step right now, get a therapeutic massage or something from a proper certified person (no quacks or reiki/homeopathy shit) even just getting your feet treated nicely by a qualified podiatrist is a good first step. Then you have been kind with your body a little.Imagine that was a nice thing that you did for a friend of yours.Your body is a friend of yours. Now be so kind to your mind. Sometimes it seems selfish to take care of ourselves but it really isn’t. You’ll be helping everyone who is going to interact with you in the future.It sounds like you have an excess of empathy and this makes you the sort of person who will make the world a better place, who will be able to do what it takes, to make good choices, to inspire others. Take care of yourself, you seem like a very worthwhile human.

    #851910 Reply

    Therapy for sure and fight your urge to pull back from people. Isolation isn’t going to help you. Don’t be embarrassed about how you feel. Many, many people have periods when they feel sad, depressed, not wanting to face people. No shame in that. Don’t let your fear keep you from the help you need.

    #851985 Reply

    I am moved by the fact that someone took the time to even reply to my post. I am posting this as a reply cause I don’t know if or how I can add to my previous post, but this is my first time going online for help and I am really glad that I did. The fact is that I would like to treat myself better but I am shit broke and still a student in 10th grade in India. And 10th grade is really important here cause everyone says your entire future depends on it. I am good at studies and everyone is expecting a lot from me but I am losing motivation and often don’t go to school, like once a week, and it’s affecting my grades. I often am at the receiving end of my family’s frustration and anger at our poor financial situation, I know why they would feel frustrated but I am trying to cope and them being angry at me just breaks me. I have a best friend but she doesn’t seem to understand that after being in depression for years prior to meeting her, I can’t just snap out of it. I can’t tell my family cause they all think mental illnesses are a hoax. And I feel stuck in a bubble trying to escape reality by going through various things in my phone. And for that, I get labelled arrogant and selfish. I have seen a lot of people, who were very important to me, leave me. I am scared off relationships because of it and also feel like there is something wrong with me. I have been lonely for so long that I have become socially awkward. And when I talk to my friends on the way home I get screwed because most of them are guys and I as a girl shouldn’t be hanging around them in public, or private. My situation feels a little helpless now and that’s why I am having a hard time. I used to live like a robot and mechanically go through every day, trying to cater to everyone’s wishes. But after meeting my present bff, I realised that I was as far from happy as I could be. I can’t remember a lot from my childhood because I have been trying to block out a lot of bad memories. I atleast believe I am entitled to dreams and beliefs now, which is actually a major improvement. But I can’t seem to get any better and knowing exactly what the situation is but being able to do anything is driving me crazy. I did meet the guidance counselor at school a few times but I just can’t seem to get myself to open up to her. I like making everyone around me happy and forgive people way too easily. Well I forgive everyone except me that is. I still feel guilty for things that I remember doing in first grade. Guess I needed a way to let my thoughts out and since I am too scared that if I write a diary, someone will read it, guess going incognito and anonymous and saying it out here is what I decided to do. And if you took your time to read and/or reply to this, no matter who you are, Thank You Very Much

    #852012 Reply

    I am so sorry you are struggling. there are online journal forums that you could write in and feel safe from prying eyes.
    I am so sorry you are feeling pressure from your family, being an American I don’t think the pressure is quite the same. But my mother has told me i’m a disappoint to her, and it’s such a hard burden to have. this is not a reflection on you, it is their own shortcomings. I know it’s hard not to take it personally, but it truly is not.
    If you feel isolated maybe try and find an online forum for people near your age, I know you aren’t the only person who feels like this. that might be a good avenue of support with low stakes of it being on the internet and not in your community.

    #852013 Reply

    Depression is hard. It really, truly is. Go see somebody.

    #852015 Reply

    Just so you know, your whole future most definitely does not depend on what happens in 10th grade. I say that to relieve you. You’re also not responsible for your family’s finances. At all.

    Whether or not you believe what I’m saying, maybe it helps to have someone say it anyway.

    #852016 Reply

    Please try to open up to the guidance counselor. Tenth grade isn’t it. You are in a rough spot, and it may be rough for a while yet. Just try to be good to yourself, do the best you can and try not to absorb the brunt of your family’s stress. You can make your life into something better. Soon you will have that power in your life. Hang in there and try to find things to be grateful for. When I am feeling down, that helps me recognize how much better I have it than many others in this world. I wish you peace. Good luck.

    #852108 Reply
    Part-time Lurker

    I tried posting earlier today but something must have gone awry. If you google “mental health hotline india” several sites come up that may be able to offer you some help and support with some of the culture specific issues you’re dealing with that we may not understand very well. The hotlines allow you to remain anonymous – it seems like that’s what you’re most comfortable with right now – and I’d really urge you to try it just once to see how it goes. I don’t want to sound trite and say “I hope you’re feeling better”, but I do.

    #852109 Reply

    Every event feels so world-shatteringly important at your age, but as someone several times your age, it is *absolutely not true* that 10th grade determines your entire future. Neither does 11th grade. Even college doesn’t. I’ve had had a good life and career, and not one bit of it had anything to do with what happened in 10th grade.

    You can ALWAYS change the direction of your life. I’ve done it many times. I ended up in a career that had very little to do with what I studied in college. And then I changed careers again. Both were good moves for me.

    Your future is never set in stone. Never. Take a deep breath and look for those help hotlines. You’re going to be OK. 🙂

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