Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Did he sleep somewhere else or not?

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  • #857235 Reply

    Hi beautiful ppl.

    So. My 41 boyfriend left to Europe for a 2 week trip with his parents to see some family members and meet some new ones(his father is from Madrid)
    I am 42. We have been a couple for 4 months. He has a drinking problem.
    Since he got there he videocalled me everyday sometimes more than once a day. But the 6th day he was there (last saturday)
    He videocalled me at 9pm his time saying:
    I got into an argument with my mom. I started walking I dont know where I am I am lost. I want to go out to a club I will call you in about 2 hrs.
    He did not call
    3 nights before that night he also went out butttttttt he called me as soon as he got back to the airb& about 2am his time.
    Well this saturday was different. Mi msgs did not went through until 2pm sunday (his time) He blames the fact that since he is traveling he only has wiifii and that around 3 30 am he got back to his aunt’s house. I said: mmm ok so you have called me from bars, restaurants, even from parks and you have free wiifii but you want me to believe you that you went to a club and U did not have wiifii for 15 hrs? So why when you got to your aunt’s house my whatsapp msgs did not have 2 checks but only had one check till 2pm?
    It was 7am my time and I had turned my phone off. He called back 2pm my time.
    So I finally got a call from him on sunday 9pm his time videocall at a bar with some dude he just met…I was angry, we had an argument and suddenly my msgs again had just one check and took 10hrs to have a double check.
    He turned off his phone right????
    Ugggghhh it is so obvious. He said he “might have by mistake placed his phone on fligt mode when he got to his aunt’s house sat at 3 30am”
    Monday I was on fire. Looking for answers. Oh I almost forgot. Remember he did “not have wiifii from 9pm sat until 2pm sunday”?
    Well he posted on fb at 10 30 am sunday.
    So no wiifii for his phone but wiifii to post on fb?
    And this is where he blew it: I wanted to ask you if this phrase means to you what It means to me.
    He said on monday on a video call as he was sitting on a bed at his aunt’s house
    Ahhhhh (like relieved) I do sleep here tonight.
    I was like WHAT?
    So where have you been sleeping?
    If you needed to clarify that 2nit you are going to sleep there so where have you been sleeping for 2 nights?
    Am I being psycho???
    But you know that he turned his phone off after going to a club sat and sunday for 15 and 10hrs..calls me until the afrernoon both days and on top of that he says: I do sleep here
    He cheated and he did not sleep in that house sat and sun right?
    Would you think the same?
    He said: I got confused. I mean to say that I am staying in 2nit, that I wont be drunk and sleep late.
    I said oh Hell no!
    You said: hoy si duermo aqui!
    I do sleep here to tonight
    I broke up with him
    I felt it slipped and you add his MIA moves from sat and sun
    What do you think? And pls dont say if you dont trust the man you are with etc etc etc. Please. My question is about this shady weekend moves….
    Would you feel he cheated and slept somewhere else those 2 nights with this chain of events or not?
    Thanks loves.

    #857242 Reply

    What I feel is that you are exhausting and a drama queen. Who FaceTimes that much when they’re on vacation? He’s lucky you broke up with him. Get some therapy to overcome your petty jealousy, immaturity and controlling tendencies.

    #857243 Reply

    Good god. I don’t think detectives who are investigating a crime do that kind of minute by minute surveillance.

    It’s good that you broke up with him. You don’t trust him, you don’t respect him, you don’t even like him. Given that, what he was doing while on vacation doesn’t even matter.

    #857250 Reply

    What difference does it make where he was sleeping those two nights? You broke up with him, remember? It’s done. If you’re going to obsess about his whereabouts even still, then you do need to look at your own tendency to obsess and act out of insecurity.

    Oh, and anyone with a drinking problem is not great relationship material.

    #857251 Reply
    avatarRuby Tuesday

    I would never have behaved that way in my 20s. I’m still a decade younger than you. Grow the fuck up.

    #857255 Reply

    I broke up with him AFTER he said that.

    #857256 Reply

    This replies reminded me why to never ask any SPECIFIC questions on a forum. Ppl judge you if you should or should not be in that relationship.
    Or even try to diagnose you.

    I specifically said at the end: what would you think if this happened to you after those events during the weekend + what he said on monday PERIOD.
    and both replies had NOTHING to do with the SPECIFIC question that I asked. Ugghhh

    #857257 Reply

    Are you a therapist? Then dont try to tell me what I should or should not do. Ughhh.
    Empathy…look for the meaning when aswering questions.

    #857258 Reply

    Grow the fuck up?
    Da fuck are you?
    If you are not empathic enough then dont answer shit then.
    I said it at the end of my post.
    Stupid bitch.

    #857259 Reply

    Jajaja ok so you dont know me and tell me what I feel???????
    I asked an specific question that did not give you or no one here to be such an a h

    #857261 Reply
    avatarRuby Tuesday

    If you don’t want people to tell you what to do, don’t post on an advice column.

    #857295 Reply

    That was exhausting just to read. Yup I think he was on a bender, but at the same time it looks like you had one of those car-crash, drama-dependent relationships where you’re both feeding the crazy. Your responses thus far aren’t doing you any favours if you want to be seen as the innocent, wounded party…

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