Home › Forums › Advice & Chat › Did I do a terrible thing?
- This topic has 127 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 8 months ago by Kate.
Thank you PurpleSter for saying what I was feeling. This is usually such a supportive place with a bit of tough love, but LW is quite right to feel bullied by some comments. I work with heaps of people that have made questionable decisions, but criticising when they ask for help or advice doesn’t solve anything and attacking her mental health is low.
Purple star, the LW refused to do the right thing (unblock and contact) until very late in the thread. They said, no, I’m not doing that. So to say, there was one thing for her to do, and she did it… for most of the thread that’s not accurate.
Using her mental health against her, I mean, that’s what she did to the woman in the story, by blocking her and deciding to keep the dog. A lot of people, including the LW, have mental health issues. She should be focusing on hers, including her risky behavior, judgment, etc.
If she has an impulse to help people in the community, she should volunteer. She really could have killed this woman by giving her cash.
“ criticising when they ask for help or advice doesn’t solve anything ”
Doesn’t it? To me, the problem was solved when she unblocked the dog’s owner and contacted her. That would not have happened if everyone said “you did the right thing!” She didn’t, she actually committed a crime.
Secondarily, if she now stops giving cash to people on the street, that would be another problem solved through criticism.
I do completely agree that criticism isn’t helpful to get people to do things like lose weight or leave a bad relationship or develop healthy habits or whatever.LisforLeslieGuest
Sometimes people are not asking for advice, they are asking for validation. They offer up their story and then want confirmation that they did the right things or that they are indeed the sympathetic party. That’s the case here for sure.
And sometimes they’re right. Sometimes they are being abused or taken advantage of.
And sometimes they are not. Sometimes people do the wrong thing (even if their intentions are good).
No one likes to be the villain in the story, but sometimes the LW/OP isn’t the innocent party either.
Another thing, some of you defending the LW, are judging the woman’s worthiness to have a dog based on… *one* apparent public meltdown or mental health crisis, which was actually caused by the LW putting her in a hotel without her dog, and going by the narration of someone whose judgment and perceptions are questionable.BittergaymarkGuest
I do continue to think it’s odd how so many on here think the deranged screaming woman was somehow also a great furry baby owner.
No one said she was great… but it was her dog, and there was no mention of the vet the LW took him to saying he was in poor condition.
Not to mention, puppies cost hundreds (even if you adopt) to thousands of dollars to acquire and set up, in addition to substantial regular expenses for food, toys, vet care, grooming, etc. It’s a huge investment. You can’t just decide to confiscate it because you saw the owner having a shitty day.